Public Exercise and Attention Seeking Behavior

CigarettesandAsh · 2022-06-01T05:22:43+00:00

I don't want to just abandon my ex's principles/my good behavior

Why do you feel loyal to the principles of someone who was abusive towards you? Is it 'good behaviour' because you genuinely feel better by living by his principles, or because when you did what he wanted he didn't hurt you?

Personally, I think outdoor exercise is more about the mentality of the person who is doing it. If a woman is exercising in as little as possible but is busting her ass and completely focused on her own performance, then it isn't attention seeking. If she is watching to see who is watching her and trying to entice people to look at her instead of focusing on herself, it is attention seeking.

SunshineSundress · 2022-06-01T06:54:29+00:00

There is no need to try to continue to match the standards of an ex who was extremely violent and controlling. If you’re someone who likes doing yoga in the park, wouldn’t it be more conducive for your own happiness to find a man who likes it when his woman has an active lifestyle and goes to do yoga in the park?

That being said, a practical way to figure out how to dress effectively in dating is to dress for the type of man you want. If you’re unsure of what Mr. Right wants, look at the married/taken women in his community and how they dress. You probably won’t go wrong by finding inspiration from these women.

amadexodus · 2022-06-01T11:57:46+00:00

You're still getting over an abusive relationship, and so yes, your judgment is impaired a bit in favor of your ex's unreasonable standards. Changing your boundaries is not necessarily being done out of spite; you're allowed to figure things out for yourself.

If this helps, I'm a runner and a lifter. When it gets warmer outside, I wear a sports bra and track shorts. If it gets warm enough in my gym, I wear it there too; otherwise it's usually a sports bra, maybe with a cropped tank, and high-waisted workout leggings.

Does it attract attention? Sure, occasionally I'll get a comment from a creepy dude when I'm at a cross-walk waiting for the light to change. Or a guy staring while I lift stuff at the gym. But it's a matter of what I feel best in for the task I'm accomplishing: getting a workout in. And I know from trial-and-error when running in particular what I perform at my best in, depending on the weather outside. Anything heavier than a sports bra and track shorts in the summer months, and I'll have a very very miserable run (whether I go in the morning when it's humid but not hot, or if I wait til later when it's not humid but hot and sunny).

LadySandcastle · 2022-06-01T12:31:29+00:00

I think you could benefit from reading "Why does he do that?" By Lundy Bancroft to give you insight on how your exes rules were NOT principles but means to control you. I have been in abusive situations and this book rang very true.

You should make your own principles. Sunshine gave amazing advice, dress like the wife of the man you want. If you want a modest, religious man you'll have to dress more modest but if you just want a strong, masculine leader who RESPECTS you there may be more leeway in how to dress. Honestly I think most men would see you being active and healthy as a plus and not focus so much on the outfit as long as you aren't going around like a would-be instagram model.

Underground-anzac-99 · 2022-06-01T05:12:52+00:00

Firstly you don’t need to wear “revealing” clothes to do yoga, that is mostly a western concept.

But why shouldn’t you do yoga at the beach? The principles of the practice include being more aware of and in touch with the world, surely it is better to do that outdoors than in some studio?

And unless it’s a female only class men will get a view of you stretching anyhow.

I think the words “extremely violent” and “forbade” sum things up. He sounds horrible and controlling. Rules are not something a man imposes but things the two of you agree upon.

sunglasses90 · 2022-06-01T13:06:05+00:00

There’s literally nothing wrong about an outdoor exercise class, especially if you’re not wearing super revealing clothing. Yoga typically is yoga pants and sports bra or tank or T-shirt. Sure, it’s a little revealing, but you’re wearing it in the context for which it’s meant it’s like wearing a swimsuit to a beach.

Let’s make it clear submitting to your husband doesn’t really mean “he sets the rules”. It means you both make decisions on what roles you both play and that you can let go of your need to control things, which most western women struggle with, and let him be the leader and ultimate decision maker on things that are in his wheelhouse. It doesn’t mean you don’t have a voice.

Charlotte1979 · 2022-06-01T22:00:19+00:00

My advice would be have your own rules. Your own moral code so to speak with your own set of boundaries and find a man who respects them to be your partner. Coming out of a bad relationship take some time to breathe before you get into a new relationship.

Title	Public Exercise and Attention Seeking Behavior
Author	Puzzleheaded_Back255
Upvotes	7
Comments	23
Date	June 1, 2022 4:45 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/v28vpj/public_exercise_and_attention_seeking_behavior/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/public-exercise-and-attention-seeking-behavior.1117792 https://theredarchive.com/post/1117792

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