Should I cancel the date?

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-01-15T22:31:16+00:00

No one ever married and had babies after they refused to meet each other. He's made a fair bit of effort already, considering your schedule. He's shown his interest. If he doesn't have your number, give it to him. You're expecting an awful lot from a guy who's waited a month to even meet you. It's one date. Just make the plan and go. If he doesn't respond to your attempts to verify, I'd say he likely feels like you're not that interested and this was a lost opportunity.

coronaat · 2024-01-15T23:22:31+00:00

Honestly planning a date with a limited time frame of 45 minutes might send a message that you're not that interested in him. Especially after changing the date of a potential date + being away for 3 weeks (of course i understand you have a busy schedule). Thus he might have felt turned down by you or it may seem to him like you are not that available.

GivMeLiberty · 2024-01-16T00:27:44+00:00

I share the belief that the man should lead when it comes to planning dates and working out logistics. But as a guy on dating apps, I am also aware that until we have met a few times and established basic trust, I’m still a total stranger that a woman met online and I cool it on the “leader” aspect until I’ve gotten a feel for how comfortable the woman is with me.

I wouldn’t expect full on leadership, planning, rides, etc. from the average new guy on a dating app if I were a woman. I would wait to vet these types of leadership traits (with an online stranger) until you’ve met in person, the ice is broken, and a baseline trust is established.

Typically, I’ll suggest a place or two for meetup but then I will also note that “if you’d feel more comfortable somewhere else, we can go there”. I will start with “sure let’s meet there around XYZ time” for the first meetup or two before I offer a ride.

From what you’ve shared, it sounds like this guy is just trying to make sure you feel safe and is trying to respect the fact that you may not want an online stranger such as himself to know where you live/work etc.

I would also wager that the 45 minute date is the only thing locked in as of now because it is low commitment and allows either of you to end the date quickly if you aren’t interested. If I were you, I would make sure to be available for other activities after this 45 minute date at the gallery in case it goes well. He will likely suggest to do something else after this initial meetup has gone well. Because your initial 45 minute date is so low commitment, I wouldn’t be surprised if he waited until tomorrow a few hours to confirm. He may just not want to come off as overbearing. I would not find it out of place for a woman I’m going on a semi-blind tinder date with to confirm plans the day prior, though, if you’d like to do that.

chrissycash · 2024-01-15T22:32:20+00:00

If you all the date details (day, time, and location) I would go

AutoModerator · 2024-01-15T22:16:37+00:00

Title: Should I cancel the date?

Author Proper_Imagination94

Full text: After a year of dating break,I matched with a guy in my city on 16 December 2023. The chat convos was flowing greatly.He was curious and did take into account my bio, hobbies and pictures. No sexual talk. We have common hobbies. He lives 21 km (13 miles away).

He asked me out two days later ( 18th). I told him I am intrested but I was away for three weeks and we should pick it up in January.

He reached out on 4th January and asked me if I am still Intrested on a date.I gave him my availability day and time. He wasn't available on that proposal he proposed a different date tomorrow ( Tuesday 16th January) after work.

The activity was to go to a gallery in my city. Instead of choosing one, he said I should propose something. I love art, had pictures on my bio in galleries, we talked about it BUT I felt weird having to check through which museum is open and what they are showing. It feels like I planned the date something I have never done before.

We agreed on 7th January the day, time , location and activity.Since then I haven't heard from him. We are still in the app.He doesn't have my number.

The date will be 45 minutes since the gallery closes and earlier wasn't possible based on my work schedule.

He hasn't reconfirmed, not proposed he has reserved anything afterwards, not asked how I plan to get there.

Am I overreacting by thinking of not showing up and not giving him a heads up that I will not show up?

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Business_babe_2 · 2024-01-16T09:07:21+00:00

Do you want to go on a date with this guy? Because it does not feel like it. You already begrudgingly put in some effort to find a gallery, which is not that weird of an ask for a man knowing that you are interested in art.

You pretty much ghosted him for a week by never answering his confirmation text or sending anything else after. And you don’t want to go through the effort of sending a re-confirmation now. All in all you are putting very little into this date/ starting relationship and then act surprised that you get little out of it.

So do you want to go? Because he didn’t do much wrong, but you also don’t seem to be exited for the date at all. Which is fine and might save you time by canceling the date, but I don’t think it is fair to blame that on him.

pharmgirlinfinity · 2024-01-15T22:41:10+00:00

My experience was always if there was no follow up to see if I was going to come the day before the date, the date did not happen. Even if I had the place and time and showed up, I would be alone. The interested guys always follow up the day before or early the day of. And typically you will exchange numbers and have some texting interaction prior. I would not bother going personally.

GreeneyedPolly · 2024-01-16T12:08:32+00:00

Go on the date! You’re both being equally shy here, affected by the prolonged time between match and date. If you don’t get a promising feeling during those 45 gallery minutes, then you can get a headache and go home; no huge loss. And if you two hit it off, you will have a sweet little reminder to bring out when you’re joking with each other: “remember when we started going out, you had ME plan our first date?”

If you go, please let us know what happened :)

MassiveGround · 2024-01-16T12:47:59+00:00

You are the Arts Expert. He knows it and trusts in your choice. Green Flag!

Yes, he could try to help out with transportation/a nice meal afterwards but ok.

Funny_Garage3895 · 2024-01-16T16:01:18+00:00

Hes getting you to plan a date because many women dont even bother turning up nowdays so why should a man put in effort if they either dont turn up or just go for the dinner and ghost?

Based on this post (and now looking at your profile) your main interest is getting a man to buy you nice things, suggest and take you out posh places, talk you up etc.

There are many women wanting to be a sugar baby, why would he choose you over someone else that has shown more interest?

(Going off you joining a SUGARBABIES group) FYI - us women on here are not sugar babies.

Jasperbeardly11 · 2024-01-17T20:51:08+00:00

Ghosting is not cool. Confirm and Keep your appointment. Or cancel.

Proper_Imagination94 · 2024-01-15T22:34:30+00:00

He never asked for my number hence,I haven't offered him one.

I haven't reached out to him either since we confirmed the date, 8 days ago. He hasn't texted either to re-confirm that we are still meeting up tomorrow.

MassiveGround · 2024-01-16T12:47:49+00:00

You are the Arts Expert. He knows it and trusts in your choice. Green Flag!

Yes, he could try to help out with transportation/a nice meal afterwards but ok.

MassiveGround · 2024-01-16T12:47:54+00:00

You are the Arts Expert. He knows it and trusts in your choice. Green Flag!

Yes, he could try to help out with transportation/a nice meal afterwards but ok.

Title	Should I cancel the date?
Author	Proper_Imagination94
Upvotes	0
Comments	35
Date	January 15, 2024 10:16 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/197lr5x/should_i_cancel_the_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/should-i-cancel-the-date.1243067 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243067

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