Should I move back in with parents or continue living with my “boyfriend” in a different country?

ArkNemesis00 · 2024-12-08T00:22:40+00:00

I would absolutely move back with your parents. It's one thing to explain to your future husband that you were duped, it's another to explain that you stayed and willingly participated in hurting an engagement. People who want to get married tend to frown on being an affair partner.

Unless there's something I'm missing? Is this acceptable in your culture or in his? Does your fiancee know about you and approve of you?

Substantial-Worry289 · 2024-12-07T22:02:34+00:00

Is "Staying in the country, but moving away from him" also an option? His money and status and wealth may buy you comfort, but it most likely won't outweight your emotional suffering you will feel. If you have this much free time on your hand, concentrate on your studies, but find a job and student accomodation.

Searchtheanswer · 2024-12-07T23:07:20+00:00

When you moved there to study you already had a plan. You also lived alone for a while and were managing financially. Don’t become dependent on him financially. Also… the age gap come on

Realistic_Nebula_919 · 2024-12-07T22:54:04+00:00

Why don't you wait and finish your degree in his country then you could decide to get a job there or move back to your country, either way at this point you can then go on your quest to find your husband without worrying about your studies

Ok-anonnnnn · 2024-12-08T07:38:27+00:00

U have been through what u are saying. I'll tell u the end result if you stayed at his place.

You will feel bad for yourself in long run
U are same age as me so we need to find a guy early coz men like when women are young.
The age gap tells me that I are looking for a provider in him so please make your self esteem more so that u can leave him.
Please find a guy and not waste ur 20s on such people. U are young healthy find another guy
I did it . He wasn't worth it. I understand the rent part but still you'll not be happy. You'll be resntful towards yourself in long run. I am going through same.
u can do a job so that u can support ur rent

Adventurous_Limit84 · 2024-12-08T04:24:22+00:00

He has a finance ?? And he’s your boyfriend ? Did I get that right ????

Equivalent-Ferret900 · 2024-12-08T04:51:37+00:00

he can leave you at anytime. lets say you move and he stops giving you money, what will you do then? don't let desperation blind you, if you wouldn't be okay with your daughter doing it, don't do it. honestly im terrified for you, i know what its like to be in a place where you need money- and this is no easy decision, but please please never move for a man. men change all the time, unless it is a legally binding contract, they can walk away any time they want and then they will leave as soon as they find another girl who is younger for them to take

AutoModerator · 2024-12-07T21:54:19+00:00

Title: Should I move back in with parents or continue living with my “boyfriend” in a different country?

Author Icy_Adhesiveness349

Full text: I 25f am currently living with my boyfriend 47m. I am a studying an advanced degree in a different country than my family. I am here on student visa.

I have been living in this country for a year now, and have been living with my boyfriend for about 6 months. I met him when I moved here. He is doing very well financially so he moved me in to help me with my rent and he also helps with groceries. He has taken me on a few trips since we have been dating and is very supportive of my schooling.

However, I recently found out that he has a now fiancé in a different country. (He travels a lot without me because of school). Recently got notice that my program is switching to remote courses. Now I am battling with feelings of staying in this country to finish school or moving back home to my home country to finish school. I know I will not marry him, I am just trying to see what would be best for my life. I have been having feeling of wanting to settle down soon. And I know he isn’t the one.

Pros of staying in his country - no rent - I have a lot of alone time so I have spent it focusing on my fitness and personal development (I lost 20 pounds) - I’m doing very well in school, currently at a 4.0 for the semester. - the country is beautiful with beaches, not like my home country

Cons of staying in his country - always overthinking about him when he is traveling - feeling alone because I only engage with him mostly - delaying me finding my future husband - consistently feeling like my life is on pause

Pros of going back home - being around family - moving on with my life - feeling the community I miss - no rent

Cons of going back home - stress from dysfunctional family dynamics - being always called on for favors (will distract me from studying) - the feeling of regressing in life and losing my independence

He is providing me a great lifestyle but I am having cognitive dissonance about being in this situation, because I don’t want to be. But I see benefits from it.

Please give me your thoughts and advice. I have only a few weeks to make this decision. If you need more information just ask.

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Justbrownsuga · 2024-12-08T00:43:29+00:00

Before I can answer, which country are you from and where are you living now?

No-Comfort1229 · 2024-12-08T02:25:26+00:00

why isnt emotionally detaching from him an option? you said he has a fiancé, you overthink all the time while hes out and you know hes not the One. you could finish your studies there and then find a job and move out to live on your own and find your husband.

manolosandmartinis44 · 2024-12-09T19:28:16+00:00

Progress is not linear, it's always fits and starts, 2 steps forward 1 step back is the way of our lives as humans.

Title	Should I move back in with parents or continue living with my “boyfriend” in a different country?
Author	Icy_Adhesiveness349
Upvotes	5
Comments	33
Date	December 7, 2024 9:54 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1h939ox/should_i_move_back_in_with_parents_or_continue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/should-i-move-back-in-with-parents-or-continue.1537893 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537893

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