What to do when he’s pulling away post honeymoon phase? Very anxious

stripe_throwaway · 2022-09-18T16:33:43+00:00

INFO: this post says a lot without saying much of anything. Have you made sure this confirms to the posting guidelines?

Additionally, your post history is all over the place. Two weeks ago you wanted to break up. A month ago you wanted to break up. You keep disqualifying yourself from the relationship in various ways throughout your other posts.

If it's the same relationship you posted about almost a year ago, it sounded like you wanted to break up then too.

Are you sure of what you want?

sunglasses90 · 2022-09-18T23:41:43+00:00

If a guy is truly into you you will know it 100%. If you’re having doubts especially if it’s been 3+ months of dating and he’s pulling away instead of leaning in he’s just not that into you. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. He may just not be up for something serious right now for whatever reason.

Men tend not to be too confusing in their words/actions when it comes to liking/loving you. If you’re sitting by the phone confused that’s a very bad sign. We’ve all been there. We all thought that maybe we were the exception. We weren’t. Best to keep working towards other more serious guys

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2022-09-19T00:05:19+00:00

You mention nothing specific at all. You don’t even mention your ages or how long you’ve been together.

No one can give you any actionable advice from this post.

Tyred_Biggums · 2022-09-19T07:00:19+00:00

I hope you don't go on and on like you have in your multiple comments here. Men are simple. Be a net positive to his life, be sexually available and open, and that's pretty much it.

No man(or anyone) will want this much clingy behavior. It's not a honeymoon phase being over- it's just your behavior. I've been with my wife 3 years... things have consistently improved and we operate a D/s relationship in and out of the bedroom. At a minimum a good RP Captain / FO model is critical to success.

bunnytryingreddit · 2022-09-18T19:25:21+00:00

girl you should figure yourself out... a month ago you post about wanting to break up and about being on dating apps (!) and 2 weeks ago you post about being on vacation with him (and for changes wanting to break up). this relationship is probably not healthy but sorry to say it, i'm afraid you also play a role in it. i saw you're planning on starting therapy. that's a good idea.

NoAARPforMe · 2022-09-18T22:27:38+00:00

As a person who swims in the ocean and Lake Michigan on a regular basis, never get in deep water if you are not comfortable and confident in your abilities. Deep water can kill you very quickly and also pull down people trying to help you. Just say no.

serendipitybot · 2022-09-19T10:29:15+00:00

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AutoModerator · 2022-09-18T15:56:48+00:00

Title: What to do when he’s pulling away post honeymoon phase? Very anxious

Full text: I am a very anxious person in relationships so I might just be reading into things but lately I have felt like my bf has been less interested in me and pulling away. He doesn’t reach out to text as often and is less responsive.

We’ve been going through a rough patch which we finally discussed a few weeks ago and I have been working on myself since then but I worry that perhaps it’s too late.

I read in another thread once two things:

How women feel about a relationship is really based off their present feelings whereas men are more rational and little things build up
Men go into a relationship hoping the woman never changes and women go into a relationship hoping the man will change

I think I have hit a few snags with these points.

For starters, it’s true we have had a lot of tension recently that has been draining. I’ve been working on expecting way less from him so I don’t get disappointed and just being overall busier and working on my self confidence. I think our chat the other day was a wake up call but it was only a few weeks and change takes time
I am definitely different from how he thought of me when we first dated. He probably thought I was more independent and adventurous than I really am. We recently were on a trip and while I’m big on risk taking on land I am more timid in the ocean and I feel guilt I didn’t feel confident enough my swimming was up to snuff to join him and his brother in some of the more tumultuous waters (and even some of the calmer water I did get a little scared and left).
I’ve been less positive recently due to health and my job. The health aspect is less of an issue now that I got some good test results back and i again have been working on confidence

But yes I am wondering how to not freak out and smother him looking for reassurance as I know that will just push him away further? What can I do to reassure myself I can win him back over if he is pulling away and get things back to how they used to be? Will they ever go back or will he keep whatever negative about me in his mind forever?

Thanks for reading xx

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Sarastanay · 2022-09-21T05:51:39+00:00

I see something alarming: You seek to lower your expectations so you won’t be disappointed.

Here is where you are shooting yourself in the foot. Honey bun, we’ve all done it, but listen: You NEED expectations. Expectations are what you want. You should have high expectations. That’s how you’ll get what you want out of life, otherwise you’ll just take whatever is given—thus ends with situations like this where you’re getting much less than you want or deserve. Also, you are going to face disappointment no matter how low your expectations are. People disappoint. Which defeats the purpose of lowering them to begin with.

Don’t be less because they can’t be more. It sounds like he isn’t all that great just from that one line. Keep expecting everything you must in order to feel happy in a relationship. Just make sure to communicate those expectations.

Every expectation of yours won’t be met. But having them will allow you to see what you really want and will register in your mind a clearer vision of your ideal relationship, eliminating BS along the way that could have been avoided.

Title	What to do when he’s pulling away post honeymoon phase? Very anxious
Author	dingobat5
Upvotes	19
Comments	25
Date	September 18, 2022 3:56 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/xhkbq8/what_to_do_when_hes_pulling_away_post_honeymoon/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-to-do-when-hes-pulling-away-post-honeymoon.1132580 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132580

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