Who is wrong here?

CountTheBees · 2024-06-26T01:12:56+00:00

From this very limited exchange - sounds like you are in the wrong. You escalated from 20 to 100 just because he showed frustration with your question.

Your other response options were: "I have just had a baby, I am hormonal and need to know you are loyal to me." "I need reassurance from you that you love me - of course I don't want to hear that you are spending time with women I don't know when I am away. Imagine if a man came over to cut my hair when you were away!"

Or any other combination of 1) calmly stating your needs and 2) acknowledging that you are perhaps reading too much into what he said.

If I had to guess, you guys didn't actually "make amends" you just avoided the issues. Normally when amends are made it doesn't get brought back up like this.

Jenneapolis · 2024-06-26T02:04:44+00:00

STFU. Honestly, when he started getting nasty with you, you can just not say anything, especially given this was a text exchange. Just don’t respond if you think you’re going to say something nasty. Take time to cool off.

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-06-26T13:02:07+00:00

I'd say both of you are wrong, because your son is not a stray dog you begrudgingly adopted. You two created a human life together and should do everything in your power to make things work for your son. If you can't, you shouldn't talk about him like he's disposable. Everyone sucks here.

As for the actual argument, he has a point that it's irrelevant if a man or woman is cutting his hair. It comes across as an accusation that you asked. Your response should have been silence or an apology. It sounds like the relationship is over, so you both need to figure out how to communicate cordially. "Make sure you take the baby when we split" is problematic on so many levels.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-06-26T01:04:46+00:00

I mean, you told him you want to split again. Sounds like you've already made your decision. I will say that if you don't change your communication approach you're going to continue being a serial monogamist.

What is your goal posting here? Wanting validation for your choice? Wondering if you made the right one, or if you could walk it back?

CranberrySoftServe · 2024-06-26T15:53:02+00:00

A few questions:
Are you married to this man?
Why are you travelling with your two other children, but leaving him and your baby at home? It seems to imply that there are two separate family units, instead of one integrated family.

Something to note: Threatening the relationship is a huge way to break trust. Even just one time causes a massive breach in trust. The more you do it, the more the end of the relationship becomes inevitable.

If you are willing to admit that some of your behaviour may be emasculating, and you want to know what you personally could be doing better, I think you should probably read both The Empowered Wife and The Queen's Code. There are likely some things in there that will help you.

Top-Break6703 · 2024-06-26T01:03:33+00:00

What are you asking us?

TheBunk_TB · 2024-06-26T02:35:02+00:00

Are you often nut checking him?

Deliaallmylife · 2024-06-26T13:05:47+00:00

Putting aside bad behavior on anyone's part:

Are you ok? Have you been screened for PPD or PPA? Because it's not really normal for a mom to try to give away her new baby at 9 months.

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AutoModerator · 2024-06-26T00:50:40+00:00

Title: Who is wrong here?

Author Throwra56743821

Full text: Hi all, I’m a long term lurker here.

I have a scenario that is confusing me and I want insight from this community.

I’m currently away and partner Is with our little one… I’m traveling with 2 kiddos from a previous relationship.

before we left, partner and I argued. He essentially said he wants to split, so I told him he should take the baby. He’s my only boy, and before we got pregnant I said I would never want to raise him alone. he agreed to take custody of our boy, especially since it’s his only child.

we talk during the trip, and make amends.

During the trip, he texts that someone is coming over to groom his hair. These are the messages:

”someone is coming to cut my hair.”

”oh, okay. Who is coming?”

“Dee.”

”oh, is that a man or woman?”

”a dude! Does it even matter? You’re irking af.”

”Make sure you take the baby when we split.”

I feel like I jumped into the deep end, but disrespect from him is a recurring issue and I don’t know how to resolve it... so I just went to avoiding it.

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Title	Who is wrong here?
Author	Throwra56743821
Upvotes	0
Comments	44
Date	June 26, 2024 12:50 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1doltf9/who_is_wrong_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/who-is-wrong-here.1522341 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522341

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