"You don't NEED a man"

MetalDevils · 2017-07-18T15:50:11+00:00

Welcome to the wonderful world of feminism, where women aren't allowed to have being a wife and mother at the top of their 'life goals' list.

I'm sure their comments are meant to 'comfort' and 'encourage' you, they have no idea that they're basically ignoring your preferences and saying "you're wrong about everything." It's belittling and humiliating. What's worse? There's nothing you can say to change their mind.

When I'm in the company of people I know do not share my personal or political values, I make an effort to avoid those topics, and remain polite (and brief) if they do arise.

You know how they will react, and if you're tired of trying to explain yourself then the sane thing to do is to stop mentioning these things. Tell your siblings you are happy for them, and don't mention your dating goals. Stop telling people you value your role as wife more than a worker bee in some office.

You have to understand that people today expect women to obey, listen to, follow, and work for their employers without question...to consider where they will work and what they will do with careful consideration and effort. It's okay to fetch your boss a coffee just the way he likes it, but doing the same for your BF at a party? That's tantamount to slavery!

You aren't going to change their opinions, and they are clearly uninterested in helping you advance your goals. Therefore, stop bringing it up.

Their words are misguided, but they do think they are 'setting you straight.' Smile and move on. It's more important for you to spend your energy on improving yourself and vetting for a good man.

jb_trp · 2017-07-17T23:03:29+00:00

I imagine they're just trying to be nice. Their responses make me think of when a person goes on a diet or starts to work out, and people insist, "You don't need to lose weight! You look great!"

I would just smile and nod and change the conversation. Ultimately, you're responsible for your own life and to achieve your goals. Wanting to find a good man, have a healthy marriage and raise wonderful kids? These are very, very great goals but they don't "just happen." You're young, make good decisions now that will set you on a path to achieve your goals. Develop traits that will make you a good partner to the sort of man you want to marry. Fix personality traits that make you "difficult" or turn good men away from you. You get the point.

If you really want to find people to talk to who won't judge what you want out of life, find people who have what you want (good marriage, kids, etc.) and are happy and talk to them about your goals and dreams. Right? I don't talk to overweight and unhealthy people about my diet because it's pointless. I don't talk to poor and irresponsible people about my budget because they don't have the values I want to cultivate in my life. The same goes with romance and relationships.

SouthernAthena · 2017-07-17T23:10:03+00:00

Eh, I do actually believe a woman needs a man (and a man needs a woman) to be happy. And I used to pull punches when talking about this, but now I just come out and call B.S. when people say that you should never base your decisions on someone else or say you should be completely happy single. I hated being single (well, hated is a little strong...being single is important sometimes, especially when getting out of a relationship) and I feel most complete--and more independent honestly--with my SO. I think everyone needs someone and that the idea of true independence is a farce. Even if it's not a lover, it's your friends, family, teachers, etc.

If someone brings this up, I'll say men and women balance each other out, or that we are like yin and yang. People tend to be able to stomach this better than saying outright "I need a man to be happy." The other aspect of this is that people need to be needed to be happy. It's not just vulnerability you get from a man, but power too.

nastynickdr · 2017-07-18T01:06:32+00:00

Its OK.

You dont need to convince them or anyone about your opinions and life choices. You are free to make your own decisions and you dont need to explain why to aynone. Im guessing you respect other people´s opinions and so they should respect yours as well. If a particular family member doesnt, you can say something along the lines of, in a very calm and respectful way "I understand the way you feel about this, but I am free to have my own opinions about this matter, you are not obligated to agree with me and the same applies to me about your opinion."

Dont try to change people, you cant. You can only change yourself.

Suggestion: read the book "When I Say no I Feel Guilty"

happychipmunkcheeks · 2017-07-17T19:29:29+00:00

Maybe they are trying to help & don't want you to feel like you're missing out. I'd recommend not wasting your time defending/justifying your dreams and aspirations to them. :P

boredpeopleareboring · 2017-07-18T14:35:56+00:00

You have to remember that half of marriages end in divorce which means that more than half of all married people are miserable. They see a young, presumably attractive woman with her whole life ahead of her wanting to join the miserable club and it breaks their heart. I'm not saying they're right, I'm just saying that it comes from a place of love and probably envy as well.

88Will88 · 2017-07-19T04:06:59+00:00

Just some advice to help you secure a decent boyfriend, don't be too needy. We can tell when a girl is needy and it is not attractive. So when you are dating, play hard to get even if you are keen.

bedaking · 2017-07-20T11:30:50+00:00

I understand I don't NEED a man to be happy

I don't think you understand the sexual dynamics of a traditional and fulfilling relationship. You DO need a man to be happy. You need it more than you think, You need it to be submissive.

Being moderately needy and clingy is a feminine behavior. You as a female biologically long for a Mature and Dominant leader. That's the age old construction of female sexuality. Women Needs a Man. And Men likes to be needed by a woman. The vice versa is also true but to a lesser extent. That difference between the neediness is how females compromise by being submissive and caring.

In a artificial Matrix controlled by feminists, you are taught that you don't Need a man - Which is completely false. You NEED a man much more than a Man needs you. That's the plain sexual dimorphism that feminists have struggles to accept. Yes, industrialized society has given women the opportunity to be financially independent, but deeply embedded evolutionary psychology wont be able to let go of the dependent nature.

Females now can ride CC, hit wall, settle with a beta, pop out children, divorce-rape the beta and continue on to be Single Mom - The feminist dream cycle. Why would you ever NEED a man ? You have financial independence. Western Feminists of our time are living this cycle for past couple of decades now. But what we need to keep in mind is that - Our deeply embedded psychology can't be cheated. Men don't like it when they don't feel needed. Ironically, women don't like it when they don't need men as well. That's why LTRs are the thing of the past.

Industrialized society has changed the financial dynamics of relationships. But it can't change the sexuality of men and women. That's the greatest relationship dilemma we now face. Equality-Fragile Relationship or Submissiveness-Stable Relationship.

Redpill philosophy lean more towards the later.

You are 23. You are exactly in the prime of your SMV, fertility. You are at the top of the graph. As you age more after 25, your SMV and fertility will only decline. And you'll struggle to find a Alpha male that will have the necessary Income and Maturity advantage that you require to be happy.

In the traditional Red Pilled society females at the age of 23 did not dream of being a mother. They dreamed of being grandmothers. And this feminists society tells you that you're too "young" !! Do you doubt that you're living inside a MATRIX ?

[deleted] · 2017-07-20T19:26:42+00:00

This may or may not apply to you. Your relatives may be concerned that you aren't doing enough with your life. Its OK to want to be a wife, and a mother. Its totally OK to want to put your family first. A pharmacist, for example, will have a lot more options for making their family economics work than someone who hasn't done much more than waiting tables.

My mom is in her 80s, she raised us before feminism took root. She stressed that we should always have something to fall back upon -- that something being an education and job skills. And you might be already doing this, with a mind towards your future.

ChibiPoena · 2017-07-17T21:36:20+00:00

Hopefully they're coming at it from a kind perspective. Trying to comfort you, rather than belittle. Hoping to make sure you don't give up on yourself for someone else. Regardless, it can still be frustrating, especially since people tend to think if you focus on your SO you must be 'losing yourself'. :(

pinkdrawings · 2017-07-19T00:54:44+00:00

"You know you don't NEED a man, right?"

"You know you don't NEED [their favorite tv show]?" "You know you don't NEED [their favorite food]?"

I hate that argument. I don't NEED a lot of things in my life. I technically would live with out two pillows, but I still like my second one.

daisyskirt194 · 2017-07-17T19:26:16+00:00

No one has the recipe for your life.

As long as you have not unhealthily fixated on marrying off asap, then do you and don't worry about those people.

By the time you're well into your 30s and married with a family, those same career-girl friends are going to look at your husband hungrily and be that lady who, after a few glasses of wine, starts desperately asking her dinner hosts (you) to pair her up with a man.

RedPill_Swinger · 2017-07-19T14:55:13+00:00

Move this post directly to BluePill Women

Title	"You don't NEED a man"
Author	smallwildflower
Upvotes	3
Comments	26
Date	July 17, 2017 7:06 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6nv8wy/you_dont_need_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/you-dont-need-a-man.73127 https://theredarchive.com/post/73127

Comments