This is a room-by-room guide to making your home the ideal environment for multiple women to come over, feel comfortable, have sex with you, cum like Niagra Falls, and possibly stay over.

Turn your place into home sweet home.

Caveat: If you live with your parents, or in a group house, understand that you are at a disadvantage. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Work with what you have. Maybe that means more work to keep things tidy and respectful of your roommates. Maybe that means getting a job and moving out. But making it happen is possible.

General concept

Here’s the game plan. You’re going to find the most romantic space in your home and optimize it for intimacy. This space is where you will spend most of the time with your date, so it is important to properly set the mood and make it as inviting as possible.

Do you have a fireplace? Use it.

Do you have a balcony? Use it.

Grab a bunch of cheap pillows, burn some cash on bear skin rugs, get a blanket and store them in a basket in the corner. If it's summer set them up on the balcony, if it's winter, set them up in front of the fireplace.

Send her a text saying "Ready for some wine and snuggling by the fire?" Done.

If you don't have any of those things, get creative. It’s important to make an intimate spot. You are going for function over form because your ultimate goal is to escort her back to your bed so you can make sweet love to her all night.

What should I have in my living room?

Your furniture needs to be solid and masculine. You’re not Cam Newton, don’t buy that pink couch for $10K. You won’t get any action on that couch. The choice for couches is simple: black leather or brown leather. Leather is important because it will match your outfits. Here’s a theory: women love recliners because every time you sit in one they subconsciously assume their duties to submit to and serve men.

Set the mood with lighting. This is key. Many men forget this part. You don't want bright lights, you want warm and low lighting. If you don't have lamps, buy some. If you don't want to spend money on lamps, get some string lights and put them up around your room like your interior designer is Pinterest.

Grab some of those cheap candles at Target, the ones that smell like marijuana and gourmet cookie dough, and put them on an end table. Light a few when she is on her way over, they need to be burning by the time she walks into your place.

Have speakers to play some tunes. Keep the music low, bouncy, and sexy. Don't go with the indie shit, go with the lofi beats to study to. Make some playlists, keep them organized, name them things like "sad" and "satisfied".

Having wall art is especially important so that when women walk into your home they say “wow, I had no idea you had such an evolved and sophisticated eye. What are some suggestions you have for me on what I should hang up in my apartment? Because clearly, it would help me develop a sense of style.” Just make sure your art is in frames. If you can make your own art, even better. Chicks think that artists are hot.

Have plants inside your place. I don’t care if they’re real or fake. It shows that you have a nurturing side and that you are at peace with the universe.

What should I have in my kitchen?

Real plates and forks, don't be disgusting and have paper plates. Have fucking silver wear. Keep it in the cabinet. You don't want to see anything but plates, glasses, and mugs when you open up the cupboards, ok? Get nice glasses. I’m talking like you’re drinking whiskey out of them nice. If you have a dishwasher, you want to put your dishes in and press the button. Don't have a dishwasher? Get a bit of a system going, you want to deal with that shit not more than 2 or 3 times a week. Don’t leave dirty dishes in the sink. That’s some frat shit.

I don’t care if you don’t cook. Just wipe down the counters and put away your dishes. Don’t be a little bitch. If you do cook, have some decent pots and pans. If you don’t have any cookware, invest in some. Nothing too fancy, but don’t have hand-me-downs from your mom either. A basic set of pots and pans will do. If you want to step your game up, get a cast iron skillet. They may be a pain to maintain, but they will make you look like a gourmet chef. Even if you can only burn eggs in it.

Get an ice tray and fill it up, keep it full. Have alcohol. Not the cheap shit, craft brew it up in here. Beers, whiskeys, wines, cognac, all of it. If it's not on the top shelf, you might as well keep it boxed.

What should I have in my bathroom?

Get some chemicals that make the bathroom smell nice. Keep that toilet clean. If your bathroom is a dumpster she is going to wonder how you take care of your penis. Have a good towel set up.

Toilet paper, extra condoms, lube, tissues, plunger. If you don’t have these things, what kind of animal are you? Hand soap, body soap, shampoo and conditioner. You want to be a man who is Put Together(TM). Especially when it comes to hygiene. No girl wants to shower with a dude who only has bar soap. Have a washer and dryer. We’re not animals. We’re not going to the laundromat. That is for poor people and single moms. Real men have in-unit laundry

Should I have an office?

You want to have a space where you can conduct business, or at least present the appearance of conducting business. This means a desk, a laptop, a printer. I don’t care if you use that printer once a month. It needs to be there. Speaking of laptops, make sure it is a MacBook. It’s just sexier. Classy pen sets, journals, and inspirational books are all nice touches. Many of these things can be had for relatively cheap, and even secondhand.

What about my Garage/Shed/Porch/Yard?

Man cave. She shed. Whatever. The point is, you need an escape. A place to go to tinker, build, plan, craft, work out, shoot hoops, and do projects. This is your space. This is where you do your thing. Women will love it because they see that you have hobbies, and passions, and that you are driven and could probably raise kids to be upstanding citizens. Having this space also allows you to take projects off your hands that might clutter up the house. Why have lumber lying around when you can put it in the garage and work on it later? But whatever you do, make sure it is clean and presentable. Women will snoop, so hide your Joe Rogan worship shrine. If you don’t have a garage, get a storage unit. Or if you are really short on cash, buy some heavy-duty plastic tubs, and put them in your closet.

What should I have in my bedroom?

The bedroom is where the magic happens, so you need to make sure it is set up for success. Again, lighting is key. LED lights are fine but track lighting is classier. Candles should be in here too. They make for good sex lighting. Don’t have any pictures of other women in your room–it’s just tacky. Get rid of all your fake Derek Jeter memorabilia and Pokemon posters while you’re at it. Invest in a big classy mirror. I could lie and say the mirror is there to make your bedroom seem bigger, but its true purpose is to fuck women doggystyle in front of it. Women love to see themselves when they are being pleasured.

Make sure you've got a real bed that is at least a double. Ideally a king/queen. No woman wants to get humped on a twin-sized mattress. The bedding is important too. You should have a comforter and at least two sets of sheets, in case you have an accident doing anal. The comforter should be something masculine, like a plaid or a stripe. The sheets should be a solid color, preferably white, and at least 1000 thread count. For the love of God, you need more than one pillow. Your bed needs to be neat and tidy. Ask yourself: would a woman want to get in my bed?

You're not going to impregnate her and have her move in with you, so don't get a giant fluffy throw blanket thing. Keep it simple, nice, and clean. Make it look like a normal bed and not where you cry and masturbate at night. Change and wash your sheets regularly.

Have condoms within arm's reach of the bed. You want to be prepared. Whatever you do, always keep lube on the nightstand. Slippery when wet is not just a saying, it’s a way of life

Keep some fuzzy pink handcuffs and a vibrator in the nightstand drawer. Using toys can be super fun, or super problematic. If the chick is down, it’s nice to have the equipment necessary to handcuff her to your bed while you stick a plug in her ass. Not that I’ve done that. But I hear it happens.

Keep the TV in the closet. When you want to sleep with a guy or two you can take the TV out of the closet and watch sports.

Conclusion

You want to have a place that looks put together. That has some style. That is something to be proud of. This is not just because you want to get laid. But because you respect yourself enough to have a nice place. This should be done even if you are alone forever.

Create an environment that makes you happy.

Don’t be afraid to get personal. Have things that remind you of good times.

This is your space, you should enjoy being there.

Or don't.

This isn’t a fucking road map to your home, but if you want to provide coordinates I would be interested.