I'm going to keep this as brief as I can. I'd just like advice from more seasoned Red Pillers. Ive been in a LTR for a year and a half. Overall, I've been very happy. She shit tests me lightly all the time, but she knows very well that I can go my own way at any moment. In the last year and a half, situations with other women have come up 3 times that have majorly pissed her off. The first, I messaged an old female friend on facebook that we should hang out sometime. She told me that's "not a good idea since you have a girlfriend," then ran to my gf and tattled, and my girlfriend confronted me. She let it go quickly when I told her it wasn't sexual, just wanted to hang out, and obviously the girl just wasn't on the same page.
The second incidence came when she saw on my snapchat "best friends" that a girl she didn't know popped up on the list often. This girl was a fwb I had before she and I got together, and when my gf brought it up, I told her I would stop talking to the fwb because it is a little awkward that I would have a platonic relationship with her when I'm in a LTR. I haven't spoken with either of those young ladies since I agreed not to. The third incident occured thursday. Ive never been on Tinder, but my friends talk about it all the time, so I thought I'd download it and tinker around for a few hours for fun. I wasn't looking to find a side chick. I matched with a couple girls and exchanged a few cheesy pickup lines, got them to agree to go out to coffee sometime, then I deleted the app. I had satisfied myself that I still "got game." One of her friends evidently saw me on the app during the few hours I was on, and messaged my girlfriend to let her know. Obviously, shit hit the fan because she went to the worst case scenerio. I've held my frame well, told her the truth, and refused to let her make it a bigger deal than it is. Today I initiated sex and she pushed me away, telling me "no, I'm punishing you." I went ice cold instantly and left to go work out, then head to my place. She texted me, insisting that I was being an asshole for trying to make her feel guilty for witholding sex when I was the one who "fucked up." I told her I'm not a dog that she can reward with sex or withold sex from. She said she hopes denying sex makes me miserable like she is, and I replied that she doesn't have the power over me to make me miserable. My cold indifference made her increasingly hostile. Her last message said (in summary) that I need to figure my shit out, that she won't be a pushover, that I'm telling her that her feelings are out of proportion, that that this is my third "fuck up." obvioulsy I don't view any of these three incidents as fuck ups, since I didn't hook up with these girls. she said not to talk to her "until you figure your shit out." So my question is, how would a red piller respond? We are both in med school, so I consider her a prime candidate for a LTR because financially we will both be set. Aside from this issue, she's fairly laid back and submissive. She throws lots of shit tests my way but I naturally shut them down, I don't really have to think about it, it's just natural. Our personalities mesh excellently. So given all the pros, how can I do the logical thing and smooth this out without being her bitch?