Hi there! I only just discovered this subreddit and even though I came across it because in some other thread it was rated one of the worst subreddits on this site, I find myself... well, agreeing with most of what you have to say!

Okay, background: I am a 20-year-old female who works in a "gentleman friendly" restaurant/bar. Which basically means that the entire waitstaff is made up of attractive young women who have to wear skimpy uniforms. We have to flirt and tease our guests, and put up with a certain amount of inappropriate comments/behavior, but it's all part of the job (even if technically it's not... with a wink and a nod the management always says that they frown on sexual harassment but the truth is, no one lasts long here if they start whining just because a customer gives the occasional ass-pinch or makes the occasional perverted comment).

Anyway, back to sluts and sluttiness in general!

The way I see it, there are two types: the Bad Sluts and the Good Sluts. Then there are the Haters of Either. Let me use some bullet-points to define what I mean!

Bad Sluts

  • Women who drift around from one guy to the next in search of affection or some kind of weird validation. "Hey, I'll totally sleep with this guy! That will make me love myself better!"

  • These women usually lie about their motives. Heck, they always lie! "Oh my god, I love you so much...". A few free dinners and some gifts later? "I'm sorry, this just isn't working out..."

  • They try to look hot but resent being told honest truths such as: you should exercise more, your haircut makes you look boyish, why don't you wear some makeup, etc. They think this is sexist and rude and feel personally slighted even if they were the ones who asked! "Honey, do I look fat?" Woe be it to anyone who tells them the truth...

  • They're usually trashy... as in, they will get in your face at the drop of a hat, whether you're a man or a woman, at the slightest provocation. Basically if anyone dares suggest they're not perfect, they go full Reality TV and start screaming and can often begin physical altercations as well.

  • They feel like they're in constant competition with other women and will be mean as snakes to sabotage their perceived competition. They will spread rumors, lie, and try to undermine anyone they feel is a threat to them. "Yeah, she's cute. But did you know she has herpes?"

  • They will never admit they're a slut, unless they're joking around, because they are ashamed to admit that they use sex as a tool. Usually they actually hate sex and generally hate the men they seek so desperately, too.

  • They are really bad in bed. For them, just showing up is all they have to do. Orgasms? They barely ever have them and they hang out over in /r/askwomen to reassure each other that this is normal. "Blowjobs? Uhm, no thanks. Not into that. Anal? Oh my god, get out of my life right now."

  • They hate their lady parts. Again, look at /r/askwomen. They just find themselves disgusting and resent the fact that men expect a certain amount of proper hygiene: for them it's like, "What? It's my vagina. Love it or leave it. Yeah it's gross, what do you expect? It's hairy? That's natural. It smells bad? Dude, that's natural. Deal with it."

Good Sluts

  • I am biased here because I consider myself one!

  • We like looking good for men and work hard to do so.

  • We are honest about ourselves. Well, at least I am. I make it clear to anyone I hook up with that I am not interested in a long term, committed relationship. If you call me a slut when I tell you that, well, I just agree. And am not ashamed!

  • We understand that we are usually the ones shopping for men by advertising ourselves. We don't get mad because a guy is checking us out: even if we're not interested in being sold, we're glad our marketing worked!

  • We work hard in bed! We don't just lay there and count the minutes until it's over. No: we like having sex! We enjoy it!

  • Sex is something we don't hate! Why be a slut, I often wonder, if you just complain about it all the time like it's a chore? That's the same as bitching all the time that you have to work at the soup kitchen or something. "I don't get paid anything, it wastes my Saturday mornings, it sucks." Well then... why do it? If you take no joy in it, why sleep around in the first place? Plenty of women are fine with leading sexless lives: they don't enjoy sex so guess what? They don't engage in it that often. That's fair! But if you do have sex a lot, but hate it anyway... what's wrong with you?!

The Haters

  • Basically, self-righteous feminists and white-knight men. "You degrade yourself by doing that. You should settle down with one man. I pity you." Like I said, both men and women will say these things and from up on their tall pedestal they will pass judgment on any kind of slut: they are bad.

  • Women are the worst haters, too. The white-knight men are usually sort of pathetic sounding but the women? Wow, such arrogance! If I tell them where I work they lecture me on why I shouldn't work there. If I admit I watch porn sometimes they get disgusted and say I'm enabling the exploitation of women.

  • They are usually jealous. Seriously. If I say I hooked up with another random guy at last night's party, the usual response from a Hater is, "Wow. I bet that was meaningful." Uhm... what? No, it was just fun! But then later she'll write on Facebook about how lonely she is and how she wished she could just meet someone...


That's my little definition! Again, I am not trolling or looking to start a big argument. I just want to know TRP's thoughts on the idea of sluts and whether or not my thoughts are in line with yours or if I'm way off base.