How to throw a Party.

TD:LR - Title

(To be read in the voice of the broscience guy)

Date – Possibly the most important factor is when you decide to throw this shin dig. Plan ahead and pick the date carefully. I like about 1 month in advance – but that depends on your friends. For mine, 1 month is long enough away to mean people are probably free, but not so far away they accept and forget about it. Also remember to consider; holidays / special event days / bank holidays.

Guest List – How many people do you actually want in your party? I know for my place I want 30-40 for a proper dancing / all out boom time party. But I also know that 15 are better for other occasions. Think about how many people you actually want and why. Once you’ve done that increase the number by 10-20% more people than you actually want. This is because some will not be able to make it, and some will flake last minute. What usually happens is that a few people will turn up uninvited and a few people will ask if they can bring friends. I find the flakes are usually equally countered by the last minute inclusions so I don’t actually need to over invite – BUT – it’s better to have the option of saying no to people just in case. It also increases the feeling of exclusivity.

Gender Ratio - Once you have the desired number, you’ve multiplied by 1.15, and then rounded up, you need to think ratio. I will usually invite 40% guys and 60% women. That’s me, I’m greedy, and that’s how I like it. 50/50 is fine if that’s what you end up with, but for me I am cautious like the numbers game so I go with more women in case all the “no’s” and flakes are female. I’ve also found that people hate cockfest parties, even chicks. By having loads of women on the invite list it helps create the necessary buzz, and reassures people they won’t be attending a dick fest, which is what most house parties usually are.

Invitations – Usually this is done via a facebook private group. Previously I have done actual little invites which required a lot more effort – BUT – the response rate was nearly 100% with no flakes. Facebook is good and easy but people will “accept” the invite, not turn up, and not care. It’s not the end of the world, just be aware of that. Be sure to have a good picture on the group that defines the party, and give simple and clear instructions about the party. Don’t go off on some fucking paragraph of shit about why you’re having this party. Give clear and concise instructions that people will remember and follow.

Pre-invite HYPE - before you drop the invite list – make sure that your inner circle have all already been invited verbally, and can make it. This is so that when you press send – you’ll have a few immediate “attending” responses – which if you do it via Facebook will help with activity on the news feed. Also encourages others to accept. Hopefully you can get a few people with decent pull to click “attending” as this can help the herd swing in your favor.

Pre-Party-Hype-maintenance – about a week before – I might send a reminder message to people I haven’t seen in person since they clicked “attending”. I’ll also be hyping the party to people I see that are coming. Both of these things are difficult to do properly. If you do it right – people will be hype for the event, if you do it wrong, you’ll seem like a thirsty beta and turn people off. You need to do pre-hype, just be mindful not to go in to over-kill territory.

Theme – personally I don’t like costume style themed events because I’m 30, people have to travel, and it can be a turnoff if the costume is a fucking investment and will take too much time and energy to create. What I like to do is a little bit off center, think of something quirky IF you want, but don’t make it too important. For example, you could have a tequila party. It doesn’t mean everyone has to dress a Mexican, and drink tequila, it can just mean the picture you use on face book is a tequila bottle, and that there is tequila at the party on a chopping board as the center piece with plenty of clean shot glasses, salt , lemon and lime. Inevitably some people will decide to hammer the bottle. That’s fine, all you’ve done is give your party a name to reference. As in “oh hey you coming tequila party?” and yeah “tequila party was siiiick!” rather than just an unnamed event which no one can remember. It’s a bit like branding. I’ve even hosted a “lamb roast party” - yeah people were fucking excited to be served roast lamb at a house party. And – 3 years later – they are still talking about the LRP.

Setup - Actually clean – hoover – dust – spray air freshener – everything to make your place as clean, and fresh as possible. Make sure to have kitchen roll / paper towels just dotted around the place so people can quickly clean the inevitable drinks they will spill. Re-stock toilet roll as well. Other things to buy in bulk is ice if you don’t have a maker. Also buy Soda / Mixers / lemon’s / Limes – all the cheap stuff that is required at all parties. I let the guests bring the alcohol that’s gonna cost real money. Decorations are ok if you want, I’ll usually have a few things to match the theme, but I don’t want things that will cause real mess or that drunk people are going to fuck around with. By which I mean this; Halloween for example, if you use that web spray shit, it will get everywhere, and someone drunk will find the can and spray it later on, causing mess.

Music - Make sure you sort this out before the party starts; that you have cables, batteries, speakers, fucking playlists, that all work and are tried and tested. Then Try to cordon off / somehow stop the party people from getting to the music setup. Breaks in the music can really fuck with the vibe. There's usually 2-3 dick heads that will want to turn DJ then remember they don't even have spotify premium and start asking for the fucking WiFi. No - just have it handled and don't let the drunks near the music.

Night of the party emotions – the first time you host a party – it’s unlikely you’ll actually enjoy it. You’ll have that horrible sweat that smells, your pits will be like a tap, and you’ll be terribly anxious that people won't turn up / enjoy themselves – this will probably ruin the experience for you the first time round. The temptation is to get wasted either before the people arrive or during the party. Just don’t. Let the feelings of insecurity happen, just accept it, and know, each time you host a party you’ll become better at it and you’ll enjoy it more and more. The first time is always the worst.

Pre-party - some close friends may suggest arriving a couple hours early, to get things going, say no. It disjoints the atmosphere if a few people are way more drunk than others, or if they have been there too long. You end up with a couple of people sitting on the sofa watching TV in their socks, whilst the party people are arriving. You want people to turn up at the time you say or 1-2 hours after.

Arrivals – Greet everyone properly! When they arrive they may feel nervous, this is your party’s first impression! Get it right; say hello, big smile, shake hands, kiss cheeks, offer to take coats, tell them they can keep their shoes on. Then bring them in to the action zone; this is the fridge, ice is here, if you need anything, just ask. Then do the “so how’s things?" if appropriate.

Introductions - Try to introduce guests to people they don’t know at the beginning, whilst they are fresh and receptive, and before they have a chance to find the people they already know. If done correctly, it can help create the feeling of talking to people they don’t know as an ok thing to do in this environment. This is what you want. The alternative is horrible; a room full of people looking at each other then quickly looking away when they get caught, but not actually talking to each other. You may forget, PUA’s and RedPillers are rare, most people are not like us, they are not able to just walk up to someone at a party and introduce themselves. A lot of you reading this may not even be able to yet. Anyway, the point is, remember to introduce people that don’t know each other if they are standing nearby. After the conversation has started, you can excuse yourself and let them do the rest.

Action Time – keep your eye on mess – and bins that need emptying. It can be a real turn off if the place gets trashed too quickly. Also, there’s always at least one drunk that will be just dying to help you. All you have to do is give simple instructions and they will do it, usually to a ridiculously high standard. It’s like the alcohol triggers something and they'll turn in to a perfectionist. I like to clean whilst I go; just doing the simple things that I can see in between chatting, to just break it up a bit. Sometimes I spend too much time cleaning, this is my problem, for most of you, it will be the opposite. Just be aware, the longer you leave it, the more likely the bin bag will rip when you eventually do try to empty it!

That’s it. If anyone wants to add further points feel free. If anyone reads this, then hosts a party, please please please do a field report, what you did, what worked what didn’t etc etc. And name the field report the same name as your party, i.e. FR: Tequila Party. Once you become an accomplished host, I guarantee it will smash your social proof wide open! Enjoy.