Infidelity vs Humiliation

viavitae · 2014-11-21T18:21:33+00:00

the Sisterhood was NOT happy he'd stepped out on he

I am not sure about this. I think they are employing powertalk to run her down behind her back under the facade of caring. Notice she is not there being comforted.

They are essentially negotiating how this change in her SMV will be applied to her social status in the workplace.

Garl_Vinland · 2014-11-21T18:09:24+00:00

This quote seems relevant (emphasis mine).

Women, on the other hand, tend to have a greater emotional connection with the extra-dyadic partner (Spanier & Margolis, 1983), report more intimacy and self-esteem motivations for infidelity, are more likely to feel this behavior is unlike them, and are more concerned about the negative judgments of others when they are unfaithful (Brand et al., 2007). Moreover, among women, the strength and frequency of affairs are related to the degree of dissatisfaction with the primary relationship, whereas among men the desire to engage in infidelity is less dependent on the state of the primary partnership (Prins et al., 1993). Although women are more distressed about their own infidelity (Van den Eijnden, Buunk, & Bosveld, 2000), Allen and Baucom (2006) report that American women are less concerned about hurting their spouse.

Tsapelas, I, HE Fisher, and A Aron (2010) “Infidelity: when, where, why.” p. 14-15

It's a symptom of solipsism, as well as projection of women's own issues with cheating onto men (they think we have the same concerns about getting caught.)

Stayinghereforreal · 2014-11-21T18:03:48+00:00

Were they middle-aged women? If so, there are plenty of middle-aged gals no longer interested in sex with their husband, but still wanting the fiscal comforts and social standing of marriage to those guys. Such women typically get mad when they have to deal with the actual reality of male infidelity as it actually affects the women's lives. But so long as the infidelity stays far, far away from their consciousness, and their daily routine (i.e., security), the women care less than you would think.

"Don't ask, don't tell, and ... don't let anyone we know find out about it." tend to be such women's attitude.

should_ · 2014-11-21T18:52:52+00:00

Women hate infidelity for three reasons (in order)

They have to deal with the reality that their pussy power is not a rare commodity
They lose SMV in the eyes of their peers
They are not the sole recipient of a man's sexual desire (and thus, he has a venue to invest his commitment outside of her)

exbp · 2014-11-21T19:01:48+00:00

This is useful for understanding their perspective on cheating too: they will cheat more readily if the circumstances are discreet, they are out of town, separated from girlfriends, etc. They see it as less of an offense to their man if the humiliation is removed.

foolscrow · 2014-11-21T21:40:53+00:00

I cheated on my last GF (now ex-GF). I was very discreet. After I broke it off with the girl whom I was cheating with, she sent my GF emails and texts I had sent her basically blowing the whole situation up - she was pissed I did not want to be with her. GF forgives me in the end, but to this day she cannot forgive that girl for humiliating her like that.

mordanus · 2014-11-22T01:44:45+00:00

It's largely about value. If a woman is unvalued by her man it hurts her, but when she shows the whole world how little she is valued it devastates her. Remember women put a shit ton of value on what other people think. They will choose a man simply based on what other women think about him. Women are hiveminded sheep to a much deeper level than men are and the show of lack of value to the rest of the herd hurts deeply.

kingofpoplives · 2014-11-21T18:51:10+00:00

Working theory - A woman can forgive infidelity FAR easier than she can humiliation. If you're going to be a cheating douche, hid it well, like a decent human being. Or something like that.

This is true for both men and women. It's the difference between losing trust and being betrayed and losing trust, being betrayed AND being publicly humiliated.

It is a lot easier to forgive when you aren't judged as a sucker by everyone who knows you were betrayed. Taking great pains to cover up infidelity also shows that the cheater still cares about the feelings and well being of the other partner. Flaunting your cheating publicly might be biggest imaginable fuck you.

williamwilliam2 · 2014-11-21T22:10:48+00:00

'Cheating' is not always 'cheating'. If a wife stops providing sex, she has abandoned her marriage and husband. An abandoned spouse is not a cheater. Granted, discretion is very much advised. The French people handle this much better than Americans.

gggkin · 2014-11-21T23:09:01+00:00

I don't know what it is about women and the need to put on facade. They'd go extra miles to lie about the most simple shit just to make themselves look good or avoid embarrassing themselves.

In almost every non Anglo countries, it's to be expected for married, wealthy or powerful men to have tails on the said as long as he's able to keep it discreet.

Oh wait, it's the same thing with American plutocrats.

busior · 2014-11-21T19:02:27+00:00

I think I cheated on every single woman I was meeting with. Why you might ask ? Because I could :-D Now seriously if I was with one girl for 10 years or so and then I learned that she cheated on me I'd be devastated. This is like some sort of game theory where the only winning move is to cheat.

izomorph · 2014-11-21T18:25:33+00:00

This reminds me of that pathetic youtube video about honest deception. Flip the tables and you can clearly see that cheating while in a monogamous relationship is bad. Cheating is bad because it speaks of the low integrity of someone. As a man, you do not want to lose personal integrity.

However, if you are spinning a few plates, it has ALWAYS been the stance of TRP that all your plates know full well your intentions. So, your working theory shouldn't be about being good at hiding your infidelity; that's a moot point.

AlfaWolf · 2014-11-21T19:23:12+00:00

If you're going to be a cheating douche, hid it well, like a decent human being

So you are saying that a man is a douche if he cheats, but a decent human being if he hides it well?

KyfhoMyoba · 2014-11-21T23:12:30+00:00

I think that this is why Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher split. Many, probably most of the hawt Hollywood guys step out on their women but are discreet about it, Denzel Washington comes to mind,

oldredder · 2014-11-24T10:17:00+00:00

well no: there's an extra charge of attack with no forgiveness, and also a man will feel humiliated if cheated on just because it happened, so what should he forgive?

Unless he's got chicks lined up and isn't married he's probably the common beta sheep.

Women forgive their own indiscretions because they're biased, lying bitches.

2014-11-22T06:46:49+00:00

I have a theory that women, deep inside, admire men who cheat on them, because it is a sign of dominance and a sign that she chose her mating partner well because he can still get pussy and do better than her if/when he wants. That comforts the woman in a sense that she realizes she didn't marry a guy just because she convinced him she was the best or only woman he could get, she married a guy that albeit having what it takes to fuck other women, won't; at least for a few years.

That also includes when a man cheats on his woman with an uglier woman, she thinks men will be men, that is why they cheat when they can.

I feel comfortable saying this because I have never cheatted on a LTR. If anyone agree/disagree, elaborate if you wanna.

Dr_Wally · 2014-11-21T19:18:50+00:00

TRP doesn't advocate for cheating. It is about bettering yourself. How is damaging your word, reputation and honor improving yourself?

Title	Infidelity vs Humiliation
Author	The_BitterTruth
Upvotes	19
Comments	34
Date	November 21, 2014 5:51 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2n0401/infidelity_vs_humiliation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/infidelity-vs-humiliation.25218 https://theredarchive.com/post/25218

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