My last desperate hope before acceptance?

MagicGainbow · 2014-06-17T15:56:03+00:00

There is no such thing as a Unicorn. I'm sorry to say it, but life isn't about what we want it to be, it's about what it is, sometimes.

I want women to be honest, faithful, and kind, too. My grandmother used to tell me "You can wish in one hand and shit in the other, see which fills up first"

Sorry, AWALT.

bankruptedcasino · 2014-06-17T18:14:46+00:00

I'm 31, and I've had a lot of dating experience in my time. Never married. No kids. Never will get married, and never will have kids. But those are personal choices, not because the vast majority of women out there are garbage (though that's a factor).

have any of you found one decent women who wasn't full of shit towards their partner?

Yes and no. I haven't found a single woman who wasn't full of shit towards her partner. On the other hand, I've found plenty of women who were decent.

Do all lie while in a relationship or to get into a relationship?

Yes. That's a fact. But, so do you. Have you ever told your girlfriend that you were too tired to go see her, but met up with your buddies instead? Did you go over to a friend's house to "help him fix something in the garage", but really kick back on the sofa to watch baseball and smoke a J? Have you ever told your girlfriend that you're happy in the relationship, even when you weren't? Have you ever told a prospect something about yourself that wasn't true, just so you could go to bed with her?

The phrase, "All is fair in love and war" has a kernel of truth in it for a reason. We all lie in relationships. We all lie to get into a relationship. In fact, I believe humans are most dishonest in foreign policy, politics, and romance. If dishonesty in any form is a dealbreaker for you (and it is for me), you can do two things when you catch them in a lie: correct them, or next them. Sometimes I do the former, sometimes the latter. It depends on the lie. If it's the former, I sternly tell them, "If anyone wants to have a relationship with me, they need to understand that I base all of my relationships - romantic and otherwise - on trust. You lied to me. That's unacceptable. If you lie to me again, just once, just a little, you're dead to me." That usually gets the message across. The bad girls will lie to you again just to test how serious you are. The good ones will not.

Is trusting your girl the biggest folly of man?

Yes, if she's a dishonest person. To be fair, I think you're thinking of all of this as black-and-white. It's not. It's a spectrum. It ranges from pieces of shit to those rare unicorns. Trusting a piece of shit is a HUGE folly. Trusting a unicorn is not.

How to tell the difference? She'll show you. Listening to a girl's words, yeah, that's folly. But observing her actions, and how she responds to conflict, are good indicators of the type of woman you're dealing with.

A case in point: I was banging this 8 for a while who was always sniffing for an upgrade, but I was hesitant. She was flaky, she was flighty, her calendar always seemed to shift around. We both have careers, so it wasn't uncommon for one of us to move a date from dinner to lunch, or vice versa, but it happened more often on her end than on mine. I was suspicious. About a month in, she confesses that she used to cheat on all her ex-boyfriends, except for the last one. She said, "I used to behave really badly, but I've lost many people I cared about the most to my mistakes. It's something I'll never do again."

I broke it off. Why? If I listened to her words, I'd be a fool. Instead, I listened to her actions. She couldn't honor her commitments. If she couldn't be at a specified place, on a specified day, and at a specified time, how could I expect her to honor a larger commitment like fidelity?

That's the difference between folly and wisdom. A folly is trusting your girl's words. Girls are expert liars. They get so pissed when a guy only "tells them what they want to hear" because they're so good at doing that themselves. Wisdom is trusting a girl's actions. If she says she's trustworthy, and her behavior confirms it, then trusting her isn't a folly. It's smart. And it builds a healthy relationship, if that's what you want.

Is there hope out there?

There is. Establish and enforce standards. What are yours? If you don't have a checklist, make one. Then, once you meet a girl who doesn't check off one of your boxes, send her to the curb. Seriously, there is nothing more cathartic to your Inner Game than to size up a woman based upon her actions and deeds, determine that she is closer to a piece of shit than to a unicorn, and then deliver a summary dumping through text message and cutting off all contact. You will wake up the next morning feeling like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, as the cognitive dissonance between bubbling oneitis and your better judgment dissolves.

Then you go out and approach more women. Dating is a numbers game. If you want to find that unicorn, you have to know that you're going to kiss a lot of frogs. I've dated women that are such gargantuan pieces of shit that I wouldn't piss down their throats if their stomachs were on fire. But, I'm glad I met them because it forced me to recognize the danger signs early on so I could deliver an appropriate rejection.

If you want to find the best girls on the planet, go to church. Following that, do community service. After that, ask your loyal friends who know you best to set you up with their attractive female friends. Same with co-workers, if you're comfortable enough to do so. If honesty is what you seek, your chances are higher that you will find it in a place where honest girls congregate: church and community outreach. Your friends know you have a predisposition against dishonest women, so they'll automatically screen the ones they think you shouldn't be with.

But above all else, never give up. It's a hard slog, I know. I date 9 women who are junk before I find 1 that I really think has good character, and sometimes even with the best game that 1 will drop out for whatever reason. It happens. Part of the Game.

However, if I had an all-is-lost mentality, I'd never find the unicorn I'd want. You've got to stay positive. As my grandfather used to say about the kid who was given a pile of shit for Christmas, when asked by his parents why he was digging through it with glee, he exclaimed, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"

If it takes 10 women to find 1 good one, then meet 100 women to find 10 good ones, or 1,000 women to find 100 good ones. Eventually, at some point, one of those good ones is gonna hit. And when it does, you're off to the races.

Then you'll be blowing up this forum about how to maintain state control when you're with a 9 who's the nicest person you've ever met because you've started an unrecoverable beta-backslide just because she's just plain so amazin'. ;)

leodoestheopposite · 2014-06-17T17:15:53+00:00

This is a very good question which has a lot of complex answer but not 1 single catch-all answer.

Older redditor here, married twice, went from AFC to successful PUA and now, here I am.

I have found more than 1 wonderful woman in my life, and that is a very honest answer. But it's also the short answer.

The longer answer is where it gets complex, and it is a combination of:

After we got together, I slowly went from Alpha-ish to Mr Nice Guy
After she had secured the Bad Boy she wanted to transform it into the Nice Guy, Husband/Boyfriend material
I am sure there's some other component that escapes me at the moment.

Someone posted that a solution is a series of Long Term relationship, surely a much better alternative to the Monogamous Marriage Forever or to spinning multiple plates for the lifetime.

I believe that a true Red Pill will with time find that one woman who will be smart and open enough to be inspired & lead to a wonderful and long term relationship.

Invalidity · 2014-06-17T17:10:09+00:00

Avoid females that try to play the trust or insecurity card. "Don't you trust me" or "why are you being insecure" are the most effective tactics a female can use to get away with being flirtatious and unfaithful.

darkstout · 2014-06-17T20:06:42+00:00

Women try to bring men down. Shit testing is neverending. Their constant need for attention and validation from other men is neverending.

I've given up on "acceptance." If you want that, find some guy friends or become closer to family members. Men and women are on different levels. Every woman will test your character. Embrace this as a challenge. Grow and become stronger.

Trust isn't the "biggest folly of a man" -- being a little whiny beta bitch is.

chocolatecuntmuffin · 2014-06-18T00:09:27+00:00

A unicorn is called a unicorn for a good reason...She must have, somehow, escaped the social trap that encourages her to take advantage of her peers, especially males, because she is "oppressed". In this day and age when large, well-known feminist organizations and social media definitively call for bias against men, and even proclaim "death of men" in society today, that is exceedingly difficult...Especially given that she can reap benefits from such a system.

kick6 · 2014-06-18T01:43:43+00:00

They exist. They really do. However they're SO EXTREMELY FUCKING RARE, and may not be attractive enough that you'd want to smash that it's better to just assume you're never going to meet one worth your time.

temparooney · 2014-06-17T19:31:27+00:00

FYI, TRP does not (to my mind) imply that there are no decent women. But my wife of 20 years does the same shit as predicted by many RP'ers.

You may be looking for a counterexample. I cannot provide it.

[deleted] · 2014-06-17T19:19:03+00:00

The problem with this question and all questions like it is that it's focused on the wrong person.

Can you be a wise and strong enough man to discern what kind of person a woman is and lead her when you've found one that fits your criteria? Like everyone else the women in your life will do whatever they can get away with.

SkorchZang · 2014-06-17T19:50:56+00:00

There is hope. I've been in a relationship for the past year and a half with a woman who absolutely defies most of the stereotypes people talk about on TRP. She acknowledges that women can be irrational, she stops herself if she notices she's being "clingy," and she's always honest and blunt when we talk about what we want out of the relationship (in a good way).

Obviously we have our differences sometimes; that's to be expected. But we're each level-headed about it, so it works. I realize women like this are rare... but I assure you, they exist.

madhax0r · 2014-06-18T00:24:17+00:00

You can always trust her to act in her own self-interest. If you want loyalty from her, if you want her to align with you long-term, then you have to shape yourself in to someone no girl would pass up. Welcome to The Red Pill.

jcrpta · 2014-06-18T18:26:18+00:00

You've got the wrong end of the stick.

It's not so much that women lie/are full of shit/can't be trusted. It's that women's sex drive is both reactive and hypergamous - and women (to be fair, most people to a certain extent) tend to project their thoughts and feelings onto others. The lying/full of shit/can't be trusted is simply a natural consequence of this.

What do we mean by this?

Well, it's probably easiest to look at a man's sex drive: very strongly proactive. In other words, a man doesn't need to be exposed to something sexy to want sex. He's experiencing at least a low level of horniness pretty much every waking hour.

Women, OTOH, have a reactive sex drive. IOW, it's more-or-less switched off unless something happens to switch it on. This is where you get the running joke about the married couple who have sex twice a year - the husband is just about ready to shoot himself, his wife (whose sex drive is completely dormant most of the time) not only doesn't think there is a problem, she cannot even grasp the idea that a problem could exist. This is where the projection comes in. She's having sex all she wants to, she cannot imagine that her husband doesn't feel the same way. No matter how much they discuss it, there is simply no combination of words that will get into her head how much it bothers him.

It doesn't bother her, why should it bother him?

Okay, that's the reactive sex drive and the projection covered. What is hypergamy?

Simple. Hypergamy is wanting to have sex with the absolute best possible mate you can get your hands on.

The big, strong man who isn't afraid of his own shadow, his sperm will likely sire strong offspring. Unfortunately, the big strong man who isn't afraid of his own shadow is seldom the man who's spent several years building up a well-paying career.

Throw in a society build around access to reliable contraception and shaming anyone who calls out women for slutty behaviour and the behaviour discussed over and over is a natural consequence - women having lots of sex with lots of different men in their 20s, only to discover to their shock and dismay that the big strong men rapidly lose interest once she's in her late 20s/early 20s. At this point, she'll marry the first man she can find with half-decent career prospects and make babies with him so fast it'll make your head spin.

Hence what we mean by "alpha fucks, beta bucks".

It's important to note that every single aspect of this behaviour is not something you should assign any blame for. It is a perfectly natural consequence of the combination of modern society and behaviour that evolved over millions of years to keep the human race going. You might as well blame your dog for being covered in hair and going "woof".

Zanford · 2014-06-18T00:14:18+00:00

Girls are like pets, they can be good if you train and command them properly, otherwise they are wild animals who will tear you apart and hump anything when in heat.

Ideally, learn to accept/assume AWALT but not let it get you down. Go ahead and have fun with a girl and see her long term if you want, just don't toooo emotionally invested. Even if you're monogamous you should keep attractive to (and access to) other girls, so you keep the right mindset, and can bounce back faster if need be.

Miamiheat87 · 2014-06-18T03:30:36+00:00

I believe in Red Pill. But I had two relationships with girls that would have done anything for me and treated me well.

Problem was I wanted more girls. I think they fit the unicorn dream well. But I wasn't with them forever.

So it probably wouldn't last anyway in that idealized state. I just left before they did.

Title	My last desperate hope before acceptance?
Author	Waldo00
Upvotes	10
Comments	23
Date	June 17, 2014 3:01 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/28dft8/my_last_desperate_hope_before_acceptance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/my-last-desperate-hope-before-acceptance.16771 https://theredarchive.com/post/16771

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