After years of browsing TRP, lifting, putting myself out there socially and expanding my horizons, I decided to embark on the last great challenge advocated by various Redpillers. Nofap. For a year. I call this suicide mission No Nut 2019, which, as our friend and mentor u/gaylubeoil would point out, is a mere prelude to Tentacle Porn 2020.

The last time I got myself off was 12/31/2018 at 11:58 p.m. Since then I have seen no tangible effects other than an unsatisfied desire for sexual gratification. The longer this goes the more I wonder what I'm attempting to accomplish. I'm 36 days in and thus far pride and stubbornness are all that keeps me going through the realization that I'm only 1/10th of the way through my arbitrarily set challenge. I've actually seriously considered requesting a semen analysis at my next physical so I have a medical excuse to jack off.

I don't find the majority of women around me sufficiently attractive to pursue in any manner and abstaining has not made the slim pickings any more appealing. I suppose I need to try different social circles but have yet to find one that is fruitful and worthwhile in and of itself (intramurals at my school are basically non-existant, my dorm's culture is dead, my classes are barren, etc). My lifts are going up but they were increasing at a similar rate before so I don't have any reason to attribute that to No Fap. I suppose I have a bit more time each day but it isn't really noticeable.

Part of this rant is just mental masturbation; I've gone 36 days without pleasuring myself and want some attention and validation for my non-accomplishment.

Another part is genuine curiosity. Why is it that so many people advance no fap as this great innovation when mild frustration is its only side effect? I haven't particularly enjoyed or consumed much porn for years and typically went several days between sessions. Are there supposed to be benefits for non porn addicts or am I just wasting my time?