[Rant/Venting] I realized relationships simply aren't worth it

SureImShore · 2016-03-18T14:45:08+00:00

Getting dumped is akin to being a Bernie Madoff victim. You realize everything you were promised was a lie and your money's gone.

You're Red Pill aware now. You don't believe the lies anymore.

All the pain and heartache and loss that you have endured has led you to where you are now. Nobody goes through life undefeated. Nobody finds the Red Pill by accident, without getting their balls kicked in.

From what you shared in your post, you're still relatively young, without any kids or ex-wives to mortgage your future income. You're one of the lucky ones, friend.

maxrp · 2016-03-18T12:53:54+00:00

I've been in monogamous relationships with various girls for 16 years, and you are 100% right its all a complete waste or time that ammounts to nothing and should have been spent building wealth, but that said the 16 years I've jammed in more fun and holidays and amazing sex than the average guy has. My social life has been amazing as you work with a couple dynamic.

Girls will leave you the second your attention or attraction level lowers. Ie dating and relationship takes up all your spare time, you start spending more time on a project that will secure the financial future for you both, girlfriend dumps you because she doesn't feel as close to you any more (and other guys are showing her more attention). They don't have the capacity to remain committed and see the overall goal of working hard for a good life and the sacrifices it takes in relationships, then you have the girls who stick with complete dead end losers moaning about their guy's laziness and lack of ambition. Can't win.

supergilbert · 2016-03-18T05:45:18+00:00

You're right.

I'd say the only way to find the strength to go for a LTR is desire for kids. Otherwise I don't see the point of relationships.

it boggles me when i see couples that don't want children, I really cannot understand how they can stay together like that.

xertlust · 2016-03-18T13:03:38+00:00

The women I go for generally aren't sleeping around, so LTR/monogamy is really my only option. Plus I don't have time any more to always be on the hunt, I've got too much other more important shit going on.

Plus I tired of sluts years ago. There's something to be said for an emotional and intellectual connection with a quality woman.

ohsoentitled · 2016-03-18T06:08:06+00:00

I think there's a few interesting points here:

If you show any weakness or become uninteresting or less funny, you lose attractiveness in her eyes.

It is true. But by that token you're expecting her to respect you and find you attractive when you're weak, uninteresting and not funny? Actively increasing your SMV is a required practice for any successful RP man. You don't get to just pull some girl, turn into some boring chump and expect her to stay because of love.

It's all been for nothing. Now I'm supposed to start from SCRATCH on some new chick? No thanks.

I think there's quite a dramatic reframing that needs to be done here. Start from scratch working on yourself, not on a relationship with a new girl. Make yourself the focus of your efforts and your time will never be wasted. As you improve, so will the quality of your relationships.

I invest one night's worth of work then immediately reap the rewards.

This focus on acquiring the most reward for the minimal amount of effort is part of your downfall, but ultimately it's a very human trait. If you want to maximise the benefits (which in this case sounds like sex), investing one night's worth of work gaming is playing the short game, investing in yourself is the long game.

I guess I just don't get how women became this way.

I don't deny that women are hypergamous, but in any relationship if someone stops providing value (e.g. becomes weak, uninteresting or unfunny) it's worth leaving.

Now women want YOU to please THEM while you also do all the work. What the hell? Where's my motivation?

One of the best ways you can ensure that women don't leave you for someone else is by being so valuable yourself they have no higher branch to swing to.

Take my advice, don't spend time blaming women for your problems. Ultimately this will get you nowhere. Yes women have their fair share of horrible behavioural patterns and RP does well to identify those, but crying about it and yearning for a time when you could be appreciated for being a chode is not productive.

Invest some time into improving yourself rather than your relationships and nearly everything you're aspiring to (if that doesn't change in the process) will fall into place.

MattyAnon · 2016-03-18T21:55:25+00:00

you now have nothing to show for it except the experience that you got swindled.

You're right OP... men are the ones putting everything in, and actually neither side comes away with anything (unless you're married or have kids, in which case she walks away with your money and probably your children). Although women seem to resent this more than men, like removing a toddler's favourite toy.

Here is the solution

Start out knowing that it's going to end. The glass is already broken. She's already a useless passive stupid lazy cheating whore. She will-not and can-not "build a relationship" in a way that a man can.

Work primarily on yourself, and enjoy time with women on a day to day basis only. Don't count on a social life with them, don't expect any future with them, do not invest in a woman or a relationship. Expect it to end badly, expect her to attempt to eviscerate your social life, plan accordingly.

That means women are part of your self development (practice, learning, experience) and part of your quality of life (sex, company, friendship, social credit). But you never DEPEND on her or the relationship, because that part is already over. A relationship is not a real thing. It does not exist. It is not a permanent thing. It is a thing that will end.

Women come... women go... and you do not invest in the relationship or in her. This outlook also prevents you from becoming Mr B. Beta Bucks, and your unattachment and freedom is strangely alluring to them.

Sepean · 2016-03-18T09:50:29+00:00

Happily married. 2 kids. Wife is fit, loving and kinky. If that's what you want, go for it.

Your issues seem to be more in your head. I completely understand guys who don't want LTRs (most of them have good reasons) but it sounds like you actually want a nuclear family but you're tripping yourself up. When you get an injury do you alo think "waaah why did I bother lifting all that effory is just wasted now"?

bokehnikon · 2016-03-18T01:14:02+00:00

I guess I just don't get how women became this way. Are millennials to blame? feminism?

Both males and females are not wired for long term relationships. See "Coolidge Effect" (males) and "hypergamy" (females).

DysfunctionalBrother · 2016-03-18T12:00:11+00:00

This is my theory. Hopefully someone will add to it because i can't be asked to write how it probably happened generation to generation.

Yes the millennials are to blame and feminism is too, but it wasn't intended for things to go to shit. Many kids grew up without fathers or with abusive fathers because of the high death count and trauma men suffered in ww1 and ww2. Men's relationship in those times with the generation of men that came before was not a good one and they took on a lot of their mother's behaviors and perspectives. They helped women get their rights, fueled by their negative experiences of the last generation of men and nurturing behavior of women. This carried through the generations and men on average have gotten weaker and more submissive, while women have gotten more special treatment because humans are very vulnerable to their environments, especially as children. That doesn't mean it can't be broken out of though, it's just damn hard.

Obviously there is more to it and it didn't happen exactly like that, but that is more or less the gist of it.

In another post i explained how women today are spoiled brats. Society holds them really highly simply because they are attractive, can reproduce and are presented to young boys as 'the way to happiness'. Most men become their slaves in return for validation and the hope of getting access to vaginas. Men (if you can even call them that) are the sole reason why feminism and women's princess rights have come so far, since women can't do anything but talk, whereas men do.

Personally i am happy to not bother with women full stop. It's only a matter of time until men are needed again anyway, positive masculinity is slowly clawing it's way back.

trp_angry_dwarf · 2016-03-18T05:31:36+00:00

Eyyyyy... This guy gets it...

Sort of.

I guess I just don't get how women became this way. Are millennials to blame? feminism?

Now women want YOU to please THEM while you also do all the work. What the hell? Where's my motivation?

Stoicism dictates that you shouldn't care, and you can't change it. Think of it as "This is the hand I've been dealt, how can I play it well?"

You've identified that there is no incentive, so there can be no motivation. Just keep nailing those ONS.

SkorchZang · 2016-03-18T05:53:40+00:00

The dream we been sold on will not pan out, it's always been just a dream.

But with your eyes open to that fact, you may trudge through the anger and find a better, more custom-fit dream that's waiting for you, and only for you, to build it.

Yeah, the model citizenship idea is broken, it rests in pieces. Long live the adapt & thrive principle.

Javier_Mendoza · 2016-03-18T17:48:45+00:00

This sounds like a sunk cost fallacy. Why are you putting so much effort into your relationships? Sounds like you were expecting a wife and kids and are disappointed. I get that but hey, doesn't matter had sex, right? If you're dumping tons of cash, time, and energy on a woman--stop. It's not required for a relationship at all. You set the tone and boundaries and women will follow them.

SeriousSquash · 2016-03-18T08:42:35+00:00

Being able to make their man happy made THEM happy.

Now women want YOU to please THEM

And they are more and more unhappy!

squidracer · 2016-03-18T10:51:08+00:00

I enjoy relationships for about 6 months to a year.. After the honeymoon phase it's usually downhill

PantsonFire1234 · 2016-03-18T19:21:14+00:00

If you enter an LTR with all the right expectations it can be worth it. Simply don't expect anything, no loyalty, no honesty and so forth. Don't invest yourself in her, I'd go as far as to say that you ought to barely tolerate her presence.

Then when she bores you or you have a chance to fuck around- you do that because it gets you ahead instead of them. Another important pointer is to not take her feelings serious. Next you do all of this while upholding the act that you are hers and love her very much.

You see why Betas struggle in LTR's? This stuff wouldn't enter their wildest dreams- and yet it's exactly this attitude that'll get their dick perma-wet.

evileddy · 2016-03-18T21:27:51+00:00

Women are all already in long term relationships with the validation they get from their smartphones.

GuestsGetGreens · 2016-03-18T21:49:00+00:00

What's wrong with being "on" all the time? If a woman can inspire you to be your best 24/7, maybe it's worth it. Just playing devil's advocate tho

Tuxedoyoda · 2016-03-18T21:59:25+00:00

Guess I'm different than everyone else. I love the beginning of relationships. The first month or so. I love spending weekend days in bed laughing, fucking and sleeping. I love the constant, varied, exciting sex. When they change and make it a chore, I'm out and on to another girl.

Words-Are-Wind · 2016-03-19T00:19:06+00:00

How the fuck are millennials to blame? We don't control the courts, the media, or anything really. Aside from some feminist tumblers which spout some stupid shit, I don't see how the millennials had any hand in this. Women wanted to please their man in the past because they needed someone to take care of them, and because all women needed to be taken care of, they were fairly easy to replace, just like a fast food employee.

Now they know they know they can be taken care of by the government and/or ex husbands through child support and alimony. In the past they would have to become beggars or whores. If you had to choose between being a good wife to a good husband, or being a whore used by random strangers every day, which would you choose? If you had to choose between having to be a wife who is tied to one person who expects you to behave in a responsible and caring way, or having to do nothing at all while having the ability to hook up with whoever you want, which would you choose?

It's simply a matter of incentive. And the current incentives have been around way before us millennials were ever born. If anything, millennial girls just feel less shame exploiting it since they have watched their mothers and grandmothers do it, and since more and more men are becoming beta feminists who support women who behave like this.

therellikofthenight · 2016-03-19T01:06:42+00:00

Without relationships, how are most of these pussies gonna get ass?

Entropy-7 · 2016-03-18T04:13:27+00:00

I am still mildly optimistic despite being 20 years older than the OP. At this point I tend to date women who are 15 or 20 years younger than me, and that is a good thing. I still think I have a shot at finding a good woman and settling down, two kids, minivan in the garage, liver pate rotting in the fridge.

It's a bit different for me because I moved to China three years ago. I won't say I have plates but there are three women in play. The youngest is 27 and refuses to commit because she figures her family would disown her. Another is 30-something but is a trust fund baby who wants a six figure husband (or her family will disown her). And the third says she wants to settle down but she is always working. I dunno: I am looking around for other prospects.

I figure I give it one more year and if I can't find a quality woman to lock down then it is LBMFs from there until I die.

The-Battletoad · 2016-03-18T13:25:52+00:00

You're idealizing a part of time that didn't exist. There was no period of time where women were purely happy to please a man. There was a period of time where divorce was stigmatized in religion and society, and a period of time where having children was a lot more important than it was now. The things that came with being single, such as casual sex, being childless, and promiscuity (for both sexes) was frowned upon by everyone in your small circle back then, and you didn't want to disappoint God or grandma. True love in relationships is a relatively new thing, as is romance.

DrunkenSpacePirate · 2016-03-18T15:11:41+00:00

Getting dumped is akin to being a Bernie Madoff victim. You realize everything you were promised was a lie and your money's gone.

Integrity doesn't seem to be seen as a positive thing quite so much these days, it is seen as weakness. Women (and men too) will make all kinds of promises, act like they want to move in with you, visit you for extended periods AGREE TO GET MARRIED... they say they love you over and over and then suddenly they disappear. Somehow, they changed their mind, or they were full of shit the whole time and either way, the scam ran its course for them. They realized they would have to put in some effort on their end and realized, as is the same with relationships, jobs, schooling, learning to play a musical instrument: LAZYNESS KICKS IN... and wins. So, as with any fraud, they probably never even consider IMMEDIATELY informing their victim, the dunce that believed their lies (or, the dunce who believed their partner had the dedication to follow through with ANY involved task), that they changed their mind. Nope, instead they pretend nothing ever happened to clear the cognitive dissonance of having spent so much time and effort (likely not any money if its a female we are talking about here, unless you live somewhere where they actually get real jobs, I don't) on a relationship so they can move on to the next victim, all the while forgetting that their idealized version of a perfect mate is a fantasy, nothing in the universe is perfect, read plain English writings of physicists, they will back that up with evidence. Her inability to solve problems with her partner causes her to cut and run. As long as her partner was actively attempting to do everything possible to keep things straight and level with her, he has nothing to worry about as far as his own actions go.

Now women want YOU to please THEM while you also do all the work. What the hell?

Just avoid these types. They think all they have to do is keep their bodies not fat and they are good to go. Nope. We are the same species that somehow had people on the Moon, multiple times, so they, like anyone else need to have some other qualities or they are worthless, even if it is merely being able to shoot a ping pong ball out of her vagina, some talent in life is needed for anyone to make a clear indication that they are not a lazy, undedicated, uneducated, intentionally dependent piece of garbage.

TheReformist94 · 2016-03-18T09:46:19+00:00

Yep.its simply notnworth the effort.I'm not saying be a beta but why the fuck would I constantly jump like a clown to satisfy her tingles years on end whilst she has like 20 back up options simmering the moment she is bored of you.spin bitches,keep mistresses. Children are the only reason for LTR.and do not marry

FramedInRed · 2016-03-18T16:47:18+00:00

Welcome to the real world. Your eyes will hurt for a while until you get used to using them. The pain will lead to anger. Focus it inward and use it as fuel to improve. You cannot ever plug back in though that desire may be common at first. You'll soon realize how much better off you are.

Title	[Rant/Venting] I realized relationships simply aren't worth it
Author	Xander756
Upvotes	68
Comments	74
Date	March 18, 2016 1:06 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4aw41i/rantventing_i_realized_relationships_simply_arent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/rantventing-i-realized-relationships-simply-arent.57066 https://theredarchive.com/post/57066

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