TL;DR can be gleaned from the bold parts.

This is in reply to the recent post about the guy who over-burdened himself with too many target goals (drink more water, adhere to arduous diet tracking, fit three routines into every day, read a book a week, etc etc...) thread via donotlink.com

The crux of the matter was his question, "why do I falter despite understanding that all of these things will benefit me?"

I didn't make it through all the replies, but the advice I saw was basically recommending to take the process slowly, dedicating 30-40 days for each habit, methodically folding in additional habits into your life over a long period of time. Solid advice in and of itself, no doubt, but the reason I'm making this post is to suggest that the number of tasks you set yourself may be completely beside the point. What's more important is your conception, or the way you let yourself feel, about your tasks from the outset.

On the topic of procrastination, I speak from personal and present experience. I'm in my senior year of college and I still fall into the lazy "zero-days" of distraction and denial of my obligations. Exactly like the other poster, I fall into a state of dread, apathy and anger. (just noticed his blog is about INTP which happens to be my type as well, fancy that.)

Why does this happen? Why do we lose momentum?

Drawing from the meetings I've been fortunate enough to have with some cognitive-behavioral psychologists, it comes down to the detrimental effect that the concept "should" has on our minds.

There is an inclination to take self-improvement seriously. There can be a sort of dark, brooding tone over the whole ordeal, have you noticed? You take a solemn walk by yourself through foggy pyramids of light in a quiet park at night. Kicking a pebble with your hands in your pockets and a scowl on your face, churning through the countless memories of regretted moments, spinning hypothetical stories of where you could be right now had you just buckled down 2, 3, 5 years ago... You try not to acknowledge the vain thought that you must look so introspective and cool right now, thinking up meaningfully brief and mysterious comments that will end up in your autobiographical film 50 years from now.

But really... you just hate yourself because you know you've screwed yourself over (and if you're here on TRP, you've by now embraced that it is mostly your fault and yours alone.) Paradoxically, this gives you both intense conviction and debilitating hopelessness. Our conscious, optimistic egos insist, "HELL YEA, WE GOT THIS SHIT" But our deeper, emotional minds are drawing the realistic conclusion from our past behavior that we will likely not succeed.

We take self-improvement seriously because we take our lives seriously, our happiness seriously, and our grievances over past mistakes and inaction seriously. We set for ourselves a multitude of tasks to complete on a regular basis, and soon all of our thoughts at all times of the day start to revolve around this serious-as-fuck conception of the New Self we're approaching.

But because we're making it into something so serious and important, we hesitate. (important things require careful and deliberate action, after all. The brain says to itself, "We don't want to mess it up, so let's take a second!!") (to clarify this isn't a conscious thought, it's a mental reflex that explains why the word "should" is a trigger that sets the following in motion.) And because we hesitate, we immediately feel grief-- because to our emotional minds, the hesitation is just the inevitable indication that we can't discipline ourselves, the emotional mind in this sense is like a bratty, vindictive cunt just itching for the soonest moment to say "I told you so." And because we feel this grief, this all too familiar self-admonishment that has defined our inner experience for years, we close our mind off from the issue in denial. And because we're in denial, we need something to distract ourselves... internet, drugs, lame friends, etc. But all the while during our distractions, there is that nagging undercurrent-- the undercurrent resulting from the conflicting emotions of wanting improvement and yet feeling incapable of it. I feel that is the most accurate definition I can personally provide for "angst".

This cycle really just amounts to angst. And angst is entirely unuseful.

So then, what is the solution?--

Take self-improvement seriously without "taking it seriously."

Trying to drink more water? Wake up and fill that gallon jug, carry it around and just drink it. The act of drinking the water is not an symbol of the Rebirth of your Self... it's simply the act of drinking water.

Trying to wake up early every day? Stand up and touch your toes before you turn off your alarm clock, take a piss, and get on about your day or w/e it is you do, BUT DON'T FUCKING CONGRATULATE YOURSELF. The act of waking up itself does not mean anything about how good of a person you are, it's just a convenient way to have more time in your day.

Trying to go to the gym regularly? As someone wisely said in the other thread, just fucking go to the gym and half-ass it if you need to. The only thing keeping you from the gym is your emotional mind blowing it out of proportion into this huge meaningful turd that... speaks about the resolve of your soul or some shit? Fuck that. It literally could not be less of a big deal! The act of lifting weights is the act of lifting weights. Stop looking in the mirror while you curl getting hard about how "improvement" you look to yourself.

Trying to read lots of books? Accept that you will forget the details of the book in a years time anyways. Each book you read is not some bragging-right notch in your belt. Don't look at a stack of books as an addition to your character. That shit is way too heavy for your emotional brain to handle, it will just get in a tizzy and trip over the false expectations it's formed from years of self-pity. The act of reading a book is the act of reading a book. Replace internet before bed with reading before bed. It's just a relaxing way to pass the time, no more no less.

Any task you set yourself or any good habit you try to form, regardless of how trivial or extensive, can be transformed (if you're not aware) into an indomitable beast by your emotional mind because your emotional mind is unfortunately inclined to associate all tasks with the grief it holds from past failures to complete said tasks. So you must dissociate your conception of the tasks from your conception of your Character.

The tasks hold no inherent meaning.

As a side note, which feeds into my conclusion, I've recently had a revelation with regard to my emotional existence. I noticed when I was in a lecture class trying to follow difficult new material, my face was scrunched into a confused look. It may help to consider this more in terms of a face to face conversation with someone new you're meeting in a formal setting: When listening and holding extended eye contact, your brain is occupied with "do I look like I'm listening to this person?" person says something to you "Mmm. Yes. Quite. I'm nodding and furrowing my brow, so of course I'm listening." Then you discover that your preoccupation with your facial mannerisms is completely drowning out what the other person is saying!! So when I was in this lecture class, I deliberately relaxed my face out of the confused look and into a calm, attentive gaze. And you know what?-- The difficult material suddenly started to click once I gave myself the mental real estate to focus.

When it comes down to it, I truly wasn't confused by the material at all, I was simply convincing myself that I was confused... why?... maybe because a pensive look would indicate that I was listening yet would save me from having to answer a question because it looks like I'm struggling to understand? None of my mind was dedicated to the actual thing at hand, all mental effort was being squeezed out through the emotional filter of my facial expression. By relaxing out of my stressed, flexed expression, I immediately felt less confused. And I mean this sincerely, right down to the core of myself in that moment, my mind and focus completely changed like a switch. edit: Take a quick second right now, there's a good chance your eyebrows are slightly flexed. Relax them completely, along with every other muscle in your face and take note of the difference it makes on your mental state.

Consider that your facial expression (and by extension, body language on the whole) is not a symptom of your emotional preoccupation, but rather the cause of it by virtue of your mind's fixation on your appearance to others. edit: I removed the bold here because it made it look like I was saying the total key to procrastination is to relax your fucking face, haha. To emphasize, that was just a side note that I felt has some interesting implications when you consider it in various contexts. The solution is still very much about mental reframing.

Conclusion:

You will fail to stick to any and all tasks so long as you let your emotional mind pull you into a state of angst. The solution is to nip it in the bud by changing your conception of self-improvement tasks. They are NOT extensions or definitions of Yourself. They are just what they are. View them as such and the inexplicable barbs that previously covered them will disappear.

The answer to the question, "why do I falter despite knowing what's good for me?" is that inflating the significance of a task triggers your self-hatred. And it is natural to recoil from and try to deny your self-hatred. Hence- the bane that is procrastination.