Why Cat Calling is a Beta Activity

I’d like to preface this by saying I’m a female in my early 20s and I’ve never posted on RP. However I occasionally read the posts due to a friend of mine introducing me to RP theories. He goes by the name of “GayLubeOil” and from what I’ve seen you guys seem to like his spelling mistakes and Russian rage. I dated him for a couple years, and though I don’t always agree with his unorthodox opinions, he’s always interested in hearing input from a woman’s perspective which is cool. I’ve helped him with a decent amount of articles through the years and I’m glad you guys have come to know and love/hate my friend the Notorious GLO.

So cat calling has gotten a lot of attention lately due to this viral video, and this CNN debate discussing it. I don’t believe the men on this subreddit are necessarily the type to catcall a woman. However I do think there’s room for the discussion of why generally trying to get a woman’s attention on the street is actually not a good idea.

Let’s start off by defining what I include in the definition of cat calling or street harassment. If I’m walking down the street and a guy says any of the following, or similar statements, it is perceived as a negative interaction on my part:

• Looking good!
• Where do you live?
• What’s your sign?
• Smile!
• Where are you going?
• You look so sexy.

These types of statements are the ones I hear most. Now I understand some of these, in other situations, may fall under the category of a compliment. However it’s important to understand that the word harassment by definition involves persistence and repetition. Even though you may only tell a girl “Looking good!” once, you should know that she’s probably heard it multiple times that day. You have to be realistic and understand that if you think this girl is attractive, there are hundreds of other men who saw her today who also think so. For a woman, hearing the same compliment multiple times in a day, and being alerted that men are watching you when you thought you were just doing your own thing, is discomforting. Kind of like Big Brother is watching… and also wants to have sex with you.

If any of you have used negging as an opener, you’ll probably know that it does work. It works because it’s a type of flirtation that jabs at a woman’s ego and makes her want to stand up for herself (which in turn starts a conversation). Cat calling is the opposite of negging, and also incites the opposite response. Instead of reeling her in to fake argue with you about why her floral headband does not make her look like Jesus Christ, she doesn’t have anything to potentially say to you other than “Thank you.” It’s a dead end approach and a waste of everyone’s breath.

One thing I may never understand as a woman is the endgame men have in mind when they throw out a compliment to woman who’s walking by. Do you want her to just say “Thank you?” Would you like her to stop and have a conversation with you? Do you want her to get on her knees and pull off your pants for a very public BJ? (Don’t answer that.) The reality is that the type of women who would actually respond positively to cat calling are very low quality girls (which is why it's insulting to her that you think she's that easy). If she gets that excited about a street compliment then you know the bare minimum for her standards of dating is literally just saying “Hi.” That should be a HUGE red flag to you that this girl is probably nasty and/or is an actual prostitute trying to make rent.

Not only would she be responding to the bare minimum of advances, but if you’re doing the cat calling, it shows that you are also putting in the bare minimum of effort (and getting the same level of results). Literally yelling at a woman in the street is publicly admitting that this is your game, this is how you operate, and you have no idea how the process of modern courtship will ever actually end in sex. It’s not only embarrassing but it’s a publicly self-deprecating display of lower value, which I will also probably never understand.

Many guys may argue that if the cat callers were hot, it would be different. This is debatable. Hotter guys can make lame moves and still get the girl, true, but there is still the factor that this happens to many women multiple times a day. It’s exhausting to deal with, and even coming from a hot guy, there’s still the potential for the woman to be so over it that she doesn’t even care to respond to James Franco asking her if she wants some milk with that shake.

Now the most important point I want to make here, and the main reason I felt like this is a RP discussion, is that ultimately cat callers are betas who are doing their thing for validation. They want to know that a woman who they found attractive actually interacted with them. As an RP man, you should know by now that you do not need validation from a woman to confirm your masculinity. The thought of that alone should at this point produce dry heaving, because you know that a woman simply saying “Thank you” to your comment means nothing because closing is closing, and “Thank you” is not a close.

As I mentioned before, I don’t think RP guys are the cat calling type, but I do know that we all have basic friends that need to be educated. I’m sure you can all think of a situation where a friend was being “that guy” and decided to say something stupid to a girl, and proceeded to get mad when she ignores him. All I can say is STOP HIM, because your friends being basic can ruin your chances with that girl or the friends she’s with.

This leads us to the discussion of how exactly is the right way to approach her. Unfortunately there are a very limited amount of ways to naturally approach a woman walking down the street without it being seen as a nuisance. I’m sure there are many tricks such as the “Can I use your cell phone?” or telling your incredibly cute dog to go sniff her or whatever else type of fake ice-breaker openers you want to use. There’s a chance for those things to work, depending on your skill. But generally if a woman is walking, alone, minding her own business, you are most likely going to be seen as annoying by trying to stop her. Would you walk into the middle of the street to stop and talk to a woman in a moving car? Probably not. The fact that she happens to be moving through space slower does not mean she’s more open to interaction with a stranger. However keep in mind that if a girl walking by looks at you for a long period of time, smiles, and makes it visibly known that she actually may be down to have a conversation, go for it. But not before actually paying attention to her demeanor to take cues on if it’ll even be worth wasting your time.

I’m very curious to know the official RP stance on cat calling, and more specifically, street compliments. Is this something you guys do? If you don’t do it, do you support it?