TL;DR: If you have oneitis, drop it right now. It is not worth it, and she will reject you. Just move on. Never worry about rejection.

I would consider this a Field Report.

Background

I am not an RP guy as I prefer to do my own thing. However, I have read the sidebar and the evidence presented is pretty much how the world works. It is refreshing to find a community of people who share this view as I have often felt misunderstood. I read many questions on askTRP about ‘this one girl….’ And ‘she said no, what do I do now’ so I decided to write this with the intention to help others drop their oneitis immediately and deal with rejection. This is a reflection based the last 15 years of my life.

The Oneitis

There was this girl….. Just joking here, I won’t bore you with the details, you know how it works. The individual suffering from the disease may think that their case is somewhat special. Nevertheless, the patterns and the outcomes are surprisingly similar.

I met mine in my late teens and I made a fool of myself as some of you would if you don’t follow the advice presented by TRP. The outcome was as per usual: rejection. I have now had the opportunity to reflect facilitated by the passage of time and a more sophisticated mind, and rest assured she will reject you. If you keep going out with her and the situation has not escalated, then she is just leading you on. If she likes you, believe me, you will know, the IOIs will be there.

‘But she is amazing…’ No, she’s not, always remember that she is not irreplaceable. I don’t even remember how mine looks. If I bump into her on the street I will be unable to recognise her. Why? Because the oneitis is based on lust or a morbid obsession with a magical fairy tale. The thoughts in your head are not even a bare resemblance to reality. Your body releases hormones, the good stuff, dopamine, serotonin, the rational part of your brain shuts down, that’s what happens when you are on drugs. You start to act illogical, irrational, your brain advances thoughts, which if acted upon make you look needy and desperate. I can’t recognise her because I was nothing more than a prisoner of my own mind. What causes this? It is unclear as there may be several different reasons. In my case I believe that I was depressed, and I somehow thought that the oneitis will resolve all my problems. The sooner you move on, the better. You will feel much better once you break the shackles of your own thoughts.

Rejection

Rejection works in a similar way, a prison of thoughts. I have been rejected many times. Do I remember the girls? Of course not, if you remember the ones who rejected you, you will need to get out more. I may remember something about a more unusual situation, like for example when someone pulled a gun on a former friend of mine, but otherwise no. That’s why you shouldn’t care about rejection, it doesn’t matter, these girls disappear from your life as quickly as they entered it, even if they are a part of your social network at the time. Remember, your social circle will change over the years, you will lose friends and make new ones.

Conclusion

The oneitis is nothing more than a bump on the road. As soon as you move on you will have the opportunity to explore bigger and better things. Never care about rejection, it is pointless, a mere waste of time. Focus on your goals. I set myself some goals when I was about 20. Achieving them before I turned 30 made me truly happy as I could move the bar higher. Now I am working towards my new and improved goals and I hope to achieve them soon and then move on to the next ones. I would also feel truly happy if this text helps at least one person. Have a good day and thanks for reading if you reached thus far.