This is a rescue mission... for me!

Hello Queens,

I'm a FDS newbie, and am ever so grateful for finding this sub. I've been trying to overcome some serious pickme tendencies and while I've made great progress in how I behave over the past couple of years, the deep-set feelings connected to them are still hard to keep in check.

For instance, I am now ruthless in walking away while in the past I would have clung on to guys who weren't worth my time hoping they would 'come around'. But I still feel bad when I begin to like someone and realize that it's not mutual, or they're not serious about me.

I've been talking to my therapist about it and while we have been digging about the roots of this need for external validation and why rejection cuts me so deep, being rationally aware of it doesn't stop it from hurting on an emotional level.

Lately I started seeing a guy who seemed very promising for a variety of reasons, including a history of actual serious relationships rather than messing around (which seems to be a rarity these days) and I confess I find myself hurt and disappointed that he turned out to not be serious about me. I'm afraid I got my hopes up because he was the first promising guy I met after wading through crap for many years, so it's hard not to feel disappointed.

It's also hard not to take the rejection personally, as if I somehow was 'not as good' as the previous girls he was happy to commit to. Time was I would have clung on trying to 'prove' that I am 'good enough' while now I'm cutting him off and moving on, which is progress.

But my instinct still seems to be saying 'see, finally you meet someone decent but you're just not good enough for him, unlike his previous girlfriends'. I HATE that my reaction is to feel this way. How can I change the emotional reaction of feeling disappointed and not 'good enough'?