Let me preface by saying that given my unusual lifestyle, I can't apply all the FDS principles and if you do, you might avoid finding yourself in this situation.

Anyway, after a 6 month relationship with a lovely guy, it's over. I planned this conversation for a while because he's a sweetheart and in many respects this is one of the healthiest, most pleasant and drama free relationships I've ever had.

But there's no future. Despite my unusual lifestyle and the instability it brings, I have two good careers + a PhD, I'm driven and emotionally stable and reliable.

This guy, sweet as he is, is objectively a mess. Broke, unemployed (though somehow self sufficient), floating around without a clue what to do in life, wrecked by depression and mood swings and often kind of a hermit to cope with his internal turmoil. He can't make plans so much as for next day's dinner as its too much commitment and anxiety and "we'll see what happens" is his only reply to any question.

He treated me lovingly and with respect and it's all been pleasant and comfy, but now circumstances have changed (we lived in the same place, now we don't) and it's time to make plans for the future and decide whether we want to make the effort to maintain the relationship by arranging to be in the same location... And like with everything else in his life, all he can say is I don't know, i don't know my plans, I don't know if I have enough feelings, he doesn't want to commit to anything so maybe we should just part ways and then "see what happens" yadda yadda.

And that, I calmly told him, is not good enough. I want and deserve better than that. I'm not taking it personally because this is how he approached literally every aspect of his life, and it shows (and the moment I clocked what was the deal I knew I'd have to walk away: but it was all so easy and pleasant, and I knew the end was coming in a couple of months, that I decided to stay till the inevitable end).

Time was i would have sobbed and insisted and tried to make it work because I enjoyed his company so much and wanted more, and couldn't understand why he didn't feel the same.

Now, while I do enjoy his company and would enjoy more, I also know it's not worth it if its not enthusiastically reciprocated. Believe me when I say, I know he cared for me the best he knew how and he treated me well. But it's just not enough. It felt good to experience after my past horrific experiences with narcissists and abusers, and it taught me something about what I do want in a relationship... but it's not enough, and it also taught me a lot about what I DON'T want.

I understand the temptation to stay because someone is way better than the previous garbage. But in truth that's the bare minimum, and alone is not enough.

I'm sad, as I knew I would be, but I also know this is the right choice.