How do I become completely emotionally unavailable towards guys?

ladyyninjaa · 2020-11-05T02:05:34+00:00

From what I heard, but have yet to try, is to keep guys on rotation. Do not focus only on one guy but on many. If one does not meet your expectation, drop him like he's a gameshow participant.

2020-11-05T03:33:13+00:00

I’m not sure this is possible in the age of quarantine. Things are too intense right now to form casual relationships because everyone is so easily triggered, and you can’t responsibly mingle with new people on a daily basis like we used to in order to find more quality people.

I used to be the queen of casual dating. I wouldn’t even sleep with the guys. I’d just date them, hang out with them, and get a lot out of them because they wanted to be around me cause I was always so full of life and doing my own thing. I don’t even remember who came and went because I’d find myself getting whisked away by the one who wanted to treat me right. Ended up in long term relationships. Pretty much how it should go.

I’m newly single and tried to date in this strange quarantine state.

It’s fucking weird and the men are like rabid animals. I guess they always were like that, but I don’t want to date if I can’t have a full social life to accompany it.

But if you do decide to date I don’t blame you. My point is you cannot be emotionally unavailable during a time like this unless the rest of your life is genuinely full. It’s not something you can fake.

Cityshy · 2020-11-05T09:29:56+00:00

You're expecting good things from them because you yourself are a good person, being emotionally available isn't a bad quality but it is one that leave you vulnerable. I don't think the key is to become totally emotionally unavailable, but to assess quicker who is HVM, LVM or NVM, and if in doubt chuck them out. I think you'll find it hurts less if you ditch them quicker. You want someone who is also emotionally available, and willing to show it. Don't lower your standards by even 1%. Ever. Listen to who they are, don't twist it into excuses or we'll he could improve, just take them at face value. If they liked you the way you liked then they would treat you accordingly.

MakeURegret · 2020-11-05T21:39:13+00:00

Does rotation help? Think you might just need to compound strategies.

So make your life busy and amazing. So amazing that you wouldn’t want to share it with someone mediocre.

Look for the flaws and save them in your phone by that for example if he’s never bought you flowers his contract name is now “no flowers” not “kevin.” Or just don’t save them in your phone.

Another one I’ve heard is to play hangman, save them as “Kevin” and subtract letters as they do something wrong. So after “Kevin” is late to a date now he’s “kevi,” forgets about something important to you, now he’s “kev.” If he loses all the letters time to block and delete.

I think the handbook has more detaching strategies, but if you’re employing all of those and you’re still getting too attached then you should look into the root of why. Are you worried about ending up alone, do you feel pressure to find someone by a certain age, are your parents putting pressure on you, do you feel pressure from society, are you lonely and trying to solve it with men. Once you figure out the root, then you can solve it. Once you solve it you won’t feel the need to attach so quickly because you’ll realize you have other options, including being single.

eveninghope · 2020-11-05T04:38:17+00:00

I just keep em on the bench. Like I have one main guy who I like, but have a roster of guys I just chat w. Also when I feel myself wanted to talk to them too much I direct that energy toward friends. Plus, now that I’m a bit older and have had several serious bfs that I never married, I have less of a sense of urgency, and like a real career that takes up most of my energy. So tldr stay busy, fill up your roster, there’s always another one.

saint-jezebel · 2020-11-05T15:33:01+00:00

Being EU isnt going to work, but being emotionally selective can work. Determine which emotions worst suit you for getting attached and keep them locked in a safe on a deserted island. That way, you have to go through so much to access them, you wont go for them so often. The ones that best suit you will keep your eyes and ears wide open, as these wont allow attachment. When you are EU, that can be felt/seen by others and can cause treatment you dont want.

Have a rotation.

Stop using being young as an excuse. Dont wait until your 27 to say "ok, I am ready to grow up" because you've already lost precious time to work on it now.

Stop dating cute/attractive guys. Also, stop looking for nice qualities and look for how you want to be treated. A nice guy can treat you bad but then youll still like them because they're nice? No. How do you want to be treated?

Title	How do I become completely emotionally unavailable towards guys?
Author	throwawayliz5195
Upvotes	107
Comments	10
Date	November 5, 2020 1:17 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/jo9c79/how_do_i_become_completely_emotionally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/how-do-i-become-completely-emotionally-unavailable.1068243 https://theredarchive.com/post/1068243

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