I am a fairly attractive, outgoing, friendly, independent and free spirited woman. (ENFP 7w8) if that helps. I am passionate and a “go getter.” I have an active social life, with a variety of hobbies that require community involvement and people skills. I am also attracted to men similar to me. I want someone who has a similar level of passion and zeal for life. Someone confident, and assertive who I won’t have to baby sit in social/emotional situations. However unfortunately I’ve noticed a pattern in the kinds of guys (from school, work, acquaintances, friends of friends) that tend to seriously purse me and start falling for me. They are usually shy, socially awkward or anti social, introverted and don’t have any other hobbies outside of gaming or watching anime for hours after work and all weekend. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it’s just not something I find attractive. They can be slightly insecure at times too I’ve noticed. These men are usually generally pretty nice, and decently smart in a nerdy/geeky way. There is nothing bad about these guys as friends but romantically i don’t find myself attracted to super shy/nerdy men like this. I am attracted to assertiveness, extraversion, charisma and confidence. Yet I don’t have the kind of men expressing any explicit interest in me. They treat me like a friend, while shy guys are bending over backwards for me. They seem to be initially attracted to me from the get go. They sometimes see me as “prize to be won over” as if they somehow have to get me to like them back. I’m tired of having to politely reject these men as I don’t want to be “that” girl. I know I’ve broken some hearts. It puts me in a tricky situation, especially since I usually have to see these men on a regular basis, especially when they’re friends or mutual friends. If I could figure out the reason as to why only shy guys have been asking me out, then maybe I could fix it and start attracting the men I want. Perhaps it’s something about my personality? If any of you women have experienced this, your insight would be beneficial to me. Please share any thoughts you have! Thanks!!

Edit: these guys aren’t creeps. They are respectful of me. They’re good people. Usually smart. But I need more from a relationship. I find their passiveness and lack of social skills to be a huge turn off for me. I am a very social and people oriented person. I want someone who is a leader and active and involved with the outside real world. I find strong, out going, and adventurous men to be very attractive.