What to change?

Im_Vinea · 2020-03-24T08:22:09+00:00

Why do you want to change? What do you want?

There are lots of “chill and goofy” guys but if I wanted a good laugh, I’d just look at cats flipping out at cucumbers or if I wanted to chill, I’d just hang out with my friends. Are you looking for anything serious in a relationship?

If you’re just looking to smash and you’re as decent looking as you say, just be straight forward and say so.

the-cool-hedgehog · 2020-03-24T17:06:21+00:00

I am personally repulsed by anyone who uses some bullshit rating system for the looks, even if you're referring to yourself, because it means you go around rating woman like they are some sort of objects or packs of meat. You can start by dropping this disgusting habit, I hope the internet will follow one day. The whole "rating looks" tradition was invented by dangerous, violent males, and that is not a cultural tradition that anyone should follow, I am repulsed it is so normalized.

kimadoll · 2020-03-24T08:25:42+00:00

What’s your question? What is it you want to change and why? Looks like you’re just giving yourself a bunch of compliments here? And you sound like your full of shit. Most guys asking for help here deflect and don’t accept any advice or criticism so I don’t bother wasting my time. What is it specifically you want to change? What is it you see wrong with yourself and what do you want/need to improve on? If your question literally is “what to change” I would say stop deluding yourself. Has any woman ever told you a single thing wrong with you? I’m sure there’s a common pattern if you actually took the time to listen. Or are you just looking to hear a bit more about how great you are? You must be so great, Mr. Perfect. Don’t change a thing. 🙄

SelectPossibility9 · 2020-03-24T15:32:47+00:00

Do you even want a relationship? The only question I see from your post is

" why do girl’s just wanna be friends with me", well do you want more with them (a relationship) or just the ego boost of girls wanting to be in a relationship with you?

magenta_mojo · 2020-03-24T16:31:37+00:00

A man has to make his intentions known and clear. Not wait around wanting for a woman to show her interest. Not wait to be "friends" first. Sounds like you're too scared to do so. Men chase after what they want. They ask women out on dates, pick them up, and listen to them with their full attention. Just being a chill goofy guy is not gonna get you a HVW.

wemadethemachine · 2020-03-24T09:39:24+00:00

chill goofy guy

So you're lazy and less funny than you think you are? I don't give a rat's ass if a man can make me laugh.

It sounds like you already have the right looks and personality to get what you're looking for.

modernmedusaa · 2020-03-24T14:43:37+00:00

Chill goofy guy?

So you're a clown that smokes weed to emotionally detach from his problems?

You think you're a 6-7 but men wildly overestimate their attractiveness, so we'll assume you're a 4 on a good day that goe's for 8's

You like those 'late night convo's aka slurring some bullshit about some Youtube conspiracy videos you watched whilst high whilst crushed cheeto's fall out your mouth with the rest of the bullshit

You're looking to smash some of your female friends, who are probably far more interesting & better looking... but they aren't playing ball

Anything else we're missing here Mr Catch?

siberiansummer · 2020-03-24T19:17:39+00:00

I'd say start approaching. Men simply don't do it. I get that rejection sucks but honestly if you are nice and genuine nobody is gonna be straight up mean to you. With all these dating apps out men completely stopped approaching. And we often discuss on FDS how we don't do OLD anymore. So there is less and less women on there, leave alone sane ones. Besides in-person chemistry is ALWAYS stronger and better, you don't have any expectations, you like what you see and you go in. FDS doesn't believe in women approaching first. And let me just tell you I'd be damned if I ever approached a man (and not for the lack of confidence). I'm definitely a good looking chick and men almost never approach. They stare from afar. So when it does happen I definitely give them credit for having the courage. A lot of women I know feel the same

staidhre · 2020-03-29T06:07:09+00:00

Rating systems do not really matter. I have always found that the best relationships are ones where they are close friends. I know of many couples who have been together for many years (10+) and they are each other's best friend. While that may be, they also maintain healthy relationships with their joint and individual friends. My point is that friendship is an important piece of the puzzle. What makes a dating relationship different than a friendship is intimacy and closeness.

Be open to talking to women who you find interesting. Attraction is one thing but consider what it is you are wanting in a potential relationship and consider using that as a guideline. If women want to be a friend then they clearly see something in you that they feel comfortable with. The whole friend zone concept being tossed around is silly when one thinks about it - I realise you did not mention this concept but feels like you are alluding to it.

2020-03-26T03:49:18+00:00

I'll be honest, your post is very vague, so I can't give muh advice. But I think work on your self esteem (this is general advise I always give) in a way where you are comfortable with yourself and don't feel the need to overcompensate.

And then when you like a girl ask her out, even if you can't tell if you like her.

Learn to process the rejection. It's easy to see rejection like a closed door. If it's closed it just wasn't meant for you and it's giving you an opportunity to move on, not waste time, and find the right place for you.

Even if they turn you down, they will likely be impressed that you asked them out.

I'd be careful with filrting. I find guys who flirt to be a little suspicious. They tend to do it for their ego but never end up asking anyone out.

2020-03-26T08:27:30+00:00

You seem to be full of yourself and have no actual personality.

ivy176 · 2020-03-30T00:38:58+00:00

All that communicated to me was: I'm really young, I'm kinda just like whatever about women and relationships, and life. If a woman chases me then ok I might dip my toe in the waters, otherwise I dunno. I'm a pretty passionless chill kinda person who doesn't think too deeply about anything but I like to stay up late and chat with people at parties cause I am a human afterall. I feel like I should have more female experience under my belt and I think the right woman could make life more fun. So what do you think because I dont really think much about anything so can you do it for me? I'm pretty lazy but I wanna feel some kinda spark so how do I get girls to give that to me?

Its only a short post and I am being blunt, probably rude, but that's the honest impression I got.

Title	What to change?
Author	Ssj3beastmode
Upvotes	1
Comments	25
Date	March 24, 2020 5:19 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/fnzkdh/what_to_change/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/what-to-change.1068746 https://theredarchive.com/post/1068746

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