I'm struggling with actioning the sidebar information. Lots of unattractive qualities and I find myself losing track or reverting to old habits without realizing. Does anyone have a good method for keeping on top of it all?

For example. I have a lifetime of poor social skills. Terrible with women, but also guys and making friends. My experience is that people don’t listen when I talk, they aren’t blowing up my phone to hang out, jokes are met with awkward silence and I’m the butt of jokes that make me butt hurt. I understand why, i'm a textbook loser.

Finding information on the fixes is easy. So I fix the diet, and start a lifting program 4 days per week. I focus on STFU because people probably aren’t listening because what I have to say isn’t worth listening to. It doesn’t stop me being a target at work, with people fishing for comments so they can laugh or make fun of me. I look at fogging, negative inquiry and assertion, broken record. Have some success, but find myself ruminating about the 99% which are failures. Why do I care so much anyway? I read NMMNG, realise how utterly pathetic I’ve always been and about my deep desire for validation - and that’s just the tip of the ice berg. I join a BJJ gym but still feel like an outcast. Each day I find myself working overtime in every interaction, thinking about eye contact/body language/stfu/fogging/smile/what do they want to talk about/repeat their name/relax/try to be confident/stand tall/not too much eye contact. You get the point, it’s a total fucking mess.

The only thing I find consistent progress and success with is lifting and diet. In terms of a solution, my thinking is to break things down into my biggest weaknesses or areas that will net the biggest improvement, and chip away.

Lift (stick to the program)
Diet
STFU (in regards to feelings or anything negative)
Eye contact
Smile

Have some wins with these things over the next week and then maybe add something else next week.

People talk like not being shit socially is easy. For most maybe, because they learned the skills growing up and used to be fit, fun and fuck. Not the case for me, advice like "pick up a hobby" isn't enough on its own to undo the awkwardness. It's going to take me a lot of time and effort to undo this shit. Any advice beyond rereading NMMNG, WISNIFG, HTWFAIP (i'm rereading all three) would help a lot.