abundance mentality and not restricting sexual partners

SteelToeShitKicker · 2016-11-20T22:49:09+00:00

LOL. You open that pandora's box and see what happens.

The fact of the matter is that it's much easier for women to get sex than guys. I know that runs counter to "abundance mentality" but it's the truth. Your wife could hit the bar and get a new notch every night if she wanted (assuming she's in reasonable shape). For a guy, if you are in decent shape and hit on chicks like it's your job, you might rack up a few notches a month.

You are just starting out, and you think you are hot shit. You aren't. Execute your MAP and keep your powder dry. Your day will come, but it isn't today or tomorrow.

Edit: BTW, I do give you points for not deleting your account. I pretty much expected it within 24 hours.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-11-20T23:37:45+00:00

Boys want to grow up to be an astronaut, and few do. I because it's hard, and space isn't as fun as it looks on star wars

RCMasculinity · 2016-11-20T23:12:17+00:00

You know what I never have seen addressed in any RP discussions? STDs. As in sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms only give you a small margin of protection. They are mostly designed to ward against unwanted pregnancy.

So say you are Mr. Stud spinning 3 plates. Then what? How do you guys know you aren't bringing a permanent friend into your marriage bed.

The rules are clear with my wife. 100% exclusive monogamy. You fuck anyone that isn't me, pack your shit, you're gone Felicia.

I will not tolerate a hit to my health I'm trying so desperately to improve by dealing with something dumbass like a STD.

So how do you plate spinners deal with possible STDs? Is it worth the risks to you just to get your dicks wet?

redearththeory · 2016-11-21T02:24:52+00:00

My wife has given me permission to go have fun. I have been very clear with her that I do not give her the same permission. There are few different elements to the question you're asking.

1) Should you ever release your wife from her monogamy commitment. Firstly, if she pushes for this its a huge red flag and she's almost certainly been cheating for a long time and is tired of hiding it. You allowing her to fuck other men while you're beta will be a huge DLV that you will probably never recover from. You will almost certainly end up exclusively BB in an AF/BB dynamic. This is the overwhelming experience regarding open marriages. It would be a bit different it you clearly had much more sexual opportunity than she did. Like if you suddenly became rich and famous or something.

2) Does real abundance mean you DNGAF if your wife cheats. I would argue that it means not being wounded by her cheating. But it would be hard to get that abundance and not also have built the self respect to demand a woman who is faithful and to immediately leave one who sexually pleasures another man while living under your roof and spending your paycheck. For instance if my wife cheated it would be a pain in my ass because I'd have the admin work of separating. But what she does isn't important enough to me to make me upset about it.

3) Ethics of you fucking other women while married. There's an ongoing discussion about this on MRP and this thread probably isn't the place to have it. My opinion is that a few NSA experiences can dramatically increase your abundance, which will make you more attractive to your wife.

One important thing to consider in this equation is what men and women want in romantic relationships. Men want women's sexual availability and sexual fidelity, women want men's emotional availability and emotional fidelity. My wife doesn't care if I get NSA sexual availability from another women. But she'd extremely upset if I started a relationship with another women I cared about and gave her my emotional availability. Conversely I don't care if my wife has an emotional affair. But if she fucks another man, I'm out. It depends on what rules you agree but abandoning physical monogamy in a marriage is usually not a symmetrical trade.

Scurvemuch · 2016-11-21T13:36:33+00:00

Fuck who ever you want to fuck.

with that being said, average 34 yo woman will go to a bar and get 5-10 offers to bang.

Average 34 yo guy will get Zero offers, and after a few weekends of trying, will get 1-2 bangs out of it if he isn't particularly picky.

Now here is the other part. When you got married, you made a deal for monogamy. You signed up for one pussy. Now you are changing the rules. Going from one woman, a captive audience, who would not fuck you how you want or when you want, to expecting to get strange overnight.

You need to rebrand yourself. Have you put in the work?

redmountainpill · 2016-11-21T15:46:09+00:00

I've known a few open marriages. It usually doesn't work, but sometimes it does. It's a lot of work for a guy to bang a chick. And when you're married, you usually won't get the hottest chicks. I personally hate monogamy. I think it's a shit deal for men. Especially as your SMV grows and your wife's stagnates at best, more often than not quickly declines post-childbirth. What do you get for the privilege of staying faithful? Day after day of shit tests and a total drag on your most precious commodity-- your time.

As for your wife fucking other men? If you have true abundance mentality you shouldn't be worried about it. As long as she doesn't bring anything home, I'd be cool with my wife doing whatever she wants.

But then again, I've never really bought into the idea of commitment. I only went along with marriage because I was too passive to say 'no'. My life is definitely less happy because of monogamy.

I think if your frame is strong and you truly have an interesting life apart from your wife, you could handle multiple partners.

SampsonBrass · 2016-11-21T01:19:50+00:00

You dumb. If she's even average or slightly above she will get way more than you. You'll struggle.

but it would probably happen that she would fuck someone other than me at some point.

You're ok with that? Why? I don't get it.

aurelius_shrugs · 2016-11-21T20:35:26+00:00

I really cannot wrap my head around allowing your wife to have all her orifices filled with random man juice. Your wife will literally be kissing your children after having had semen from many men all over her face. What exactly is the point of staying married if you are cool with that?

Sepean · 2016-11-21T08:44:07+00:00

One easy path would be to arrange for us both to be allowed to fuck other people from time to time.

Why would you let her fuck other men?

A big part of having an abundance mentality would be spinning plates.

It sounds like you want to spin plates to prop up your frame.

RPSigmaStigma · 2016-11-21T13:44:17+00:00

This is a pretty contentious issue on MRP which is why I set up /r/RedPillNonMonogamy. It's not very active, but there are quite a few guys there and most posts get at least a few helpful responses. I've also put some relevant content on the sidebar if you want to check that out.

postscript1114 · 2016-11-21T14:35:46+00:00

I will say this to the OP, you do you, but be ready to accept the outcome. Good or bad. As mentioned in one of the other replies, you will be opening Pandora's box.

From my own experience with an "open" set up, it will not work. Have a look at some of my past posts. Regardless if you are RP or BP, it is hard to judge where your SO is at in terms of hypergamy. Also remember AWALT. In my case, the guy that she eventually left me for is a hippie beach bum that is extra sensitive (her words, not mine) and a sex offender. From day one he has been buying her flowers and gifts. Whenever I bought her flowers, she always assumed I had done something wrong. I'm no expert, but based on what I've learned through the readings here and the sidebar, she will get tired of him real quick.

As also mentioned in earlier replies to your post, she will have not issues finding men. You, on the other hand, will have to work at finding women.

I'm not preaching from a stance of RP authority, I'm preaching based on experience. Tread lightly.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-11-25T18:12:41+00:00

One easy path would be to arrange for us both to be allowed to fuck other people from time to time. This does go against what I read her and in /r/marriedredpill.

You are reading wrong. This arrangement has been widely panned and criticized by Red Pill guys every single time it is brought up. Sometimes it works for you to have other partners but with the wife's knowledge (see Hillary Clinton) but opening it up rarely works out for the man. She can get dick in 45 minutes. It takes even an attractive man all night- and if you were THAT, then I doubt you would be talking about letting wifey fuck other guys.

Soberskipper · 2016-11-29T18:14:36+00:00

Never give your wife permission to rail someone else. Ever. Thats full blown beta. Even if she's banging beta Barry, it's still fucked up. In my opinion abundance mentality simply means you take your wife off the pedestal. You now look at her the same as every other fish. AWALT. No more snowflake. Spinning plates definitely helps this vision however in my opinion it's not necessary, just good fun. Once your wife can sense your abundance mentality you become more attractive in her eyes.

WhiteTrashKiller · 2016-11-21T03:17:47+00:00

Well, This is gonna hurt! I am glad you brought it up. Everything you speak of in this post contradicts RP/MRP with the exception that sexuality is amoral.

We talk about DGAF, OI and she is not yours, it is only your turn mentality, yet men are so butt hurt with the thought of her fucking another man( as if she hadn't had another cock in her before you). We say AWALT and when she chases Chad we still get upset knowing that AWALT in the first place. We talk about Hypergamy and preach that we should be the man other women want to branch swing to, but when our SO displays her natural tendencies we get butt hurt. Why?

It is because most men here never had OI to begin with, never had a DGAF attitude and put pussy on a pedastal for so long that most of us fake the funk and continue to live this lie. It is a self protectionist attitude built upon the holiest of covert contracts. "If I become X, she will fuck me more, listen to me more, stop disrespecting me more. We put mechanisms in place to keep the lie going or to make a shitty situation more palatable. No matter how much you improve, that contempt, that fear, the biting blue insecurity is genetically programmed into some men. Not all men, but it is there in a large % of the population. We can fake it and put up a facade, but that is all it is. That is why the chief tenet of RP is we don't talk about RP. Some men cannot be reached and it isn't your fault.......

Nobody here should judge you if you wanna fuck other women, most would applaude you, even moreso if you had her approval. You will be shunned though if you give her the same liberty. The reason is, men have a very fragile ego. One that women do not. They live in their own world where they believe their shit doesn't stink. Men on the other hand are taught, you're nothing special, there is always someone better. Guess what it is 100% true, but by letting her sleep around our insecurities as men get the better of us. Why would we openly accept her possibly fucking that guy that is better than you. It is like you are inviting competition, one in which you have a chance of losing. It all goes back to that same insecurity we have.....

No matter how much you read, train, lift, etc. Some men will never be that true Alpha, OI, Chad that has that so many plates mentality, that if she chose to fuck someone else it wasn't because she wanted someone better than you, your ego never came into question. It is because you have so many plates, you're so exciting and wanted by the oppossite sex that you couldn't give her the amount of time to keep her spinning, so she fell. So you demote her a notch or two and move others up.

To truly have a complete OI attitude, one where your SMV is so high that she goes out to find women for you to fuck should be the main goal. Whether she fucks someone else or not is of no concern. What if she found a couple for you guys to fuck? One in which the wife was a 10 , but her husband was a 5. She does it so you can have your enjoyment, she works for you to keep you happy. Would that be acceptable?

We build men here, you take what you need to make yourself into the man women want to fuck and other men want to be. How you use it, is completely up to you.

UEMcGill · 2016-11-21T13:25:00+00:00

Calling /u/RPSigmaStigma !

My question to you is: Why does a full abundance mentality not also include not restricting sexual partners?

Redpill is amoral. You want to fuck strange? Go ahead. There's a few guys here that have open marriages and plate theory is literally non-monogamy in its purest form.

Most guys here are not equipped to deal with the day to day of both spinning plates, leading an LTR and keeping it all together.

Skiffbug · 2016-11-21T22:40:51+00:00

I think you're overshooting in how to obtain abundance mentality while married. You don't need to go out a fuck random women.

If you casually flirt and talk to various women around you, gauge interest through seeing their IOI's, you'll eventually find yourself at ease with random women. If you do it well enough, you'll even be given some opportunities to pursue. You don't need to close, but the knowledge that you didn't because you chose not to will be enough to give you abundance mentality. It is much more about knowing (through field work) that you are in top of your game than going out and closing.

enfier · 2016-11-22T00:16:51+00:00

A woman's sexual strategy is to lock down the highest quality mate she can find. If the mate she can get isn't attractive, you get to the AF/BB dynamic but remember that the ideal is a guy that brings both to the table.

Once you get to the point where you can successfully go out and get other women, your wife's sexual strategy is fulfilled and it's not likely that she'd agree to risk losing some of your provisioning ability to another women (her practical concerns will be you leaving her or knocking the other woman up and paying child support). What she gets in return is basically nothing. There are certainly women out there that will look the other way if you are cheating and it's not damaging her social status, but that's just a practical concession to your sexual strategy.

It's not that you are wrong per se, it's just that there's no practical application. If you actually have the SMV to pull it off, your wife isn't really going to have that much interest in fucking other dudes.

Title	abundance mentality and not restricting sexual partners
Author	RPJustStartingOut
Upvotes	0
Comments	37
Date	November 20, 2016 9:59 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5e0exh/abundance_mentality_and_not_restricting_sexual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/abundance-mentality-and-not-restricting-sexual.206850 https://theredarchive.com/post/206850

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