I don't really have a question here, just sharing the thought process so far and seeing what input may come in.

So for Christmas I've looked into a family gym membership for me and the wife. Problem is the wife has a mental block when it comes to hashing out time for herself. I've been leading well with this, both by example and through conversations with her about the mentality behind it. She sees the light (understands the mentality and the positives it brings), just doesn't want to pick it up and use it (won't act on it due to anxiety of other's viewing her as selfish, feels guilty when she says no....Nice Gal Syndrome).

So, I can pay extra for the family membership, both up front and monthly, and then basically drag her by the hair to the gym with me. It may or may not stick, meaning she may decide at some point to quit giving herself an hour a day to go do something for herself, and instead drive herself crazy with work and everyone else's problems. (Not my problem, I know. Just looking at a realistic outcome).

I really don't want to play the drill sergant role here. Which isn't to say "I don't want to lead." "Put [whatever she's doing] down for an hour and get in the car, we're going to the gym" is as far as I want to go for getting her there. Anything past that seems like a waste of time. I can visualize it being a fucking blast, and encouraging her (through actions, not pep talks...which will also be fun) along the way. It's just the potential difficulty of getting her there that may end up leaving me OMS around the house then going solo. I'm ok going by myself as well, but would be a little salty at the wasted money.

Or, I can just get my own membership, and go on my own. Unfortunately this puts me in a position of having the "I didn't want to waste my money" talk. The reasoning is she's played the I don't have time for myself card a lot when it comes time to act on the new mindset she has about this issue. I don't know how to communicate that without seemingly dusting off the scoreboard, per say, or approaching her logically....which 9/10 is a waste of time/energy with women anyway.

So, the glaring problems with myself that I see here are fear of sunken cost, a recognition of my sub-par communication skills, and a lack of diversity for my leadership skills. It would even be fair to say that while my leadership skills have improved, they are still subpar as well.

At this point, I'm leaning more toward just getting the family membership, bossing her into the car, and doing my part to make it as fun as possible. Worst case, she quits going and then I spent the money to hone in some comminication and leadership skills.

Bigger picture here is, for me, to build on my leadership qualities, have something fun to do regularly, and continued progress on opening her up (by killing the Nice Gal). That last one is for her ultimately, but I could definitely enjoy the by-products that come from that, as some of you already know.

And that's where I'm at, gents.