So I'm currently spinning 3 plates. All is separate parts of the country but I've been unable to f close with them due to logistics (I'm not going out of my way, i.e. Travel across the country in my free time to fuck). So just a few days ago, I'm in one of the cities in which a plate lives. She's 12 years younger than me. Fairly well traveled, personable, we get along well. I opened her up a few months ago but only come through town every other month or so. She's always made it a point to be available when I comes through.

This time we planned on hanging out the evening I got in. I ended up being delayed a few hours. We ended up going to brunch the next day. After brunch we headed to the hotel as I had a few hours before I needed to leave. I have to say that she prob put on 20lbs since I saw her last....2-3mo's. So we watched a movie, chatted a bit but I just didn't feel like fucking her. She's not a fat troll, she's tall like me (6') but def thicker than original.

So after telling my MRP buddy about this, we were kind of split on my decision in this scenario. I could've easily stuck my dunkin in her donut hole, but I CHOSE not to. I blame it on my lack of attraction toward her physicality, my buddy says that I pushed out pulling some nice guy BP orbiter bullshit.

After I left town, she texted me, saying how nice it was to see me and that if I ever come to surrounding cities that she'd drive there to hang with me, so clearly she's still in.

I personally don't give a fuck either way. Half of me says I should just take it down, because a hole is a hole. The other half of me says that I can do waaaay better and to drop this plate and spin another.

What the fuck is going on in my brain?