After reading nmmng, wisnifg, and most of the sidebar I still have a basic question I don't quite understand:

Are boundaries binary? If they're not explicitly crossed I just ignore the behavior?

 

If your usually pleasant and respectful wife does something you don't like, or that's borderline disrespectful to test your boundaries, how do you enforce that?
Not like a get-out-of-the-relationship type situation like cheating or burning all your money, more like raising her voice on you around people, acting a bit disrespectful, or anything you don't want to put up with but that isn't a big deal and doesn't usually happen. How enforcing something like that looks like? How do I command respect? Naturally I wouldn't react in any special way about such things but maybe it reinforces the behavior.
Should I just withdraw attention/affection/commitment? Are there situations when it's right to outright say "I won't put up with that, never do that again"? Or is it always covert?

Also would love to read some classic examples or find good posts about what boundary enforcement looks like in general.

Would love to get some input. Thanks.
Edit: added and clarified questions.