I gotta spit this out.

strategos_autokrator · 2016-04-21T18:02:35+00:00

I'm afraid of dying without having done anything that means anything to anyone.

It is impossible to know if what you do will mean anything to anyone else. However, it is possible for you to live a life that is meaningful to you.

When you do that, many people will find meaning in it as well.

WhiteTrashKiller · 2016-04-21T15:39:42+00:00

What you do doesn't matter to anyone. Harsh isn't it? What matters is how you live your life and its meaning to you. You are looking to validate your life through external validation. Guess what? You will forever be miserable, if you put your happiness in the hands of others as they will always and I mean always disappoint you in one way or another.

If you don't like being an accountant don't be one. If you think one weekend isn't enough go active. I for one commend you since even one weekend a month is 100% more than most are willing to offer. I would love to go back in one weekend a month. (If Army)Put in a DA4187 and request active tdy for a year. Volunteer your MOS they may pick it up.....

Enjoy your life, stop bitching and make it awesome not for anyone but you. Go jump out if a plane, go take scuba lessons. Go take a class at the local votech and learn how to weld. Do shit that us awesome........

And you will feel awesome.....

That is my pep talk cause I am feeling good today so fuck you for that.......

donerkebabplease · 2016-04-21T13:58:56+00:00

Start that journal, keep it secret, keep it safe.

I think we've all been there at some point, the realisation that you've actually been making your situation worse is a hard one to accept (I know I struggled). One thing that resonated for me was being a quick learner but a slow "unlearner", instead of realising what I was doing wasn't working, I just tried harder with what wasn't working.

[deleted] · 2016-04-21T21:31:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-04-21T14:48:49+00:00

Fear is ok.

Failure is ok.

They're all just precursors to adaptation.

Adapt.

2gunsgetsome · 2016-04-21T15:46:21+00:00

Impostor Syndrome

You're doing the right thing; owning your thoughts, writing them out, then sharing them with mentors.

Now that you have a list of shit you worry about, pick one thing at a time and crush it. If you're already lifting and eating clean, start by kicking ass at your job.

Also, make your wife worry that she's not good enough for YOU.

[deleted] · 2016-04-21T20:01:41+00:00

The question then is what are you gonna DO about it. Right now, you are whining like a dependent child and the world has no sympathy for men. Zero.

Any value that a man brings to the table must be created.

Are you gonna get to work now? This is not a place for hugs.

Trekneck · 2016-04-21T20:21:03+00:00

Congrats. You've identified that you're afraid, of a lot of things. Now... what exactly are you going to do about it?

Make the most of the moments you have, each and every one of us is completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The universe doesn't care if you owned a business, fucked 200 girls or made great art.

What you do matters only to you, and in turn those you affect with your presence.

over60_stupid_loner · 2016-04-21T14:22:51+00:00

OK message received. Now get to work, then post an FR in the future, not of what you "realized", but what you have DONE.

If your journey is 6 inches long, you just got it a little wet.

CinnaMagister · 2016-04-21T14:23:41+00:00

Second the recommendation to make sure that journal is kept safe and secret.

It sounds like you've lived your life for the approval of other people. Since you're reading NMMNG, let me suggest: do the exercises! These will help you begin to put yourself first.

MRPguy · 2016-04-21T15:27:58+00:00

Feels good to get it out, doesn't it? Make sure you are doing the exercises in NMMNG. Those involve having a trusted person you can speak with.

bogeyd6 · 2016-04-21T19:54:00+00:00

I'm a Nice Guy.

Most of us were. Thats why NMMNG is required reading. 1 year ago I was the nicest of all the nice guys and proudly wore that crown. You can never be the nicest guy you can be.

Countpudyoola · 2016-04-21T19:54:39+00:00

I'm afraid of dying without having done anything that means anything to anyone.

What does that actually mean anyway? Eventually everyone you know, who knew you personally, will be dead. If they have pleasant memories of you while alive... great. People that knew you that regale tales of your greatness will eventually be dead, and those that heard it may forget. It certainly wont survive a few generations unless you're that fraction of a fraction of a percent that does something monumentally memorable like George Washington or Gengis Khan. Eventually they too, will be so lost in time that if humans are still around they'll just be words on a page.

Life is about enjoying the here and now. Be good, wring fun out of it, and experience what it has to offer. Leave less sorrow and slightly more happiness and there you go. Good ripple...

And if you're a bad ripple, no matter how big, you can be assured that a giant fucking asteroid, megavolcano or pandemic drug resistant virus outbreak will reset the slate so that no one remembers anything. Should people still be around.

Impermanence is the only constant.

As for your kids: if you're worried about your offspring, you've already bettered yourself on a parental level than I see out of many. Even in my small town. Just give them the tools to cope with life, or space to do so on their own.

Hell, even if you suck as a parent: how many kids do you know from fucked up childhoods that made something out of themselves? Kids can succeed (or whatever you measure as success) because of you or in direct opposition of you.

They can decide if they want to conquer life, coast or rail against it.

[EDIT and disclaimer] :this message was brought to you from the totally outside the scope of rp land and may or may not represent more than just countpudyoola.

schmeeza · 2016-04-21T23:45:27+00:00

About half way reading NMMNG for the first time, I was soooo pissed off! I was raging that this author thought he could berate me for my nice nature. I vented to a RP friend and put the book away for a few weeks. After reflecting on it for sometime I gave it another chance and the second time is when it started to make sense.

Give it time brother, sort out those feelings.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-04-25T02:14:10+00:00

NMMNG is a life changing book. It is like peeling off a scab that has covered your entire body. A bloody, thick, painful scab.

After you read the 3 required books, I would head straight to "The Manipulated Male" sooner rather than later. It puts it all in perspective though I doubt it will make you sleep better.

FearDearg2015 · 2016-05-11T09:55:20+00:00

Hey, I'm late to your party here, but I wanted to write a comment anyway.

Your fear is "normal". Maybe you are self aware a bit more than most in that you can actually verbalise the fear, but make no mistake that the majority of humans walk around in a general, subconscious fear of almost everything, especially death. It's a built in survival mechanism. Evolution put it there to increase your chances of propagating your genetic material. It's not special to you. You are not unique in this regard. You are no different from anyone else with respect to the underlying fear. All that being said, where you are totally fucking up is by identifying with that fear and allowing it to control your life and choices. It's an important first step to become aware that it exists, so give yourself a nice pat on the back for getting to this stage, but it's just a step. Not a destination. I can't make that fear go away. You can't either. It's genetic, right? It's an unchangeable part of how your brain is wired. But, you can choose how to deal with it, how to react to it, what to do with it etc. As long as you defer to your ego here and keep telling yourself the little story about how you are a worthless fearful waste of space, then that is what you will project into the world, and that is how the world will treat you. The universe does not play favourites. The universe treats everyone and everything with the same preference. The universe doesn't give a shit basically. Shit lives, shit dies, shit happens.

Living in terror or fear is a child like state. But so is living in a dream world of rainbows and sugar lumps. Your destination is to reach the point of being a healthy, mature human adult, and then you die. It's up to you how you wanna make that journey. How happy you are gonna be, what you are gonna do with your time etc. Where you are at right now is the best (and only) time to take back control of your existence and start living your life, instead of feeling like life (or the univerese) is out to get you, or make an example out of you somehow.

Title	I gotta spit this out.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	19
Date	April 21, 2016 1:28 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4fsy40/i_gotta_spit_this_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/i-gotta-spit-this-out.207484 https://theredarchive.com/post/207484

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