Hello all, To cut to the chase: 45 years old, Married 15, living together for 25, 4 kids, Deadish bedroom for many years, We used to be so close, and share the same dreams.

Marriage is seriously on the rocks. We built a house and small holding together 5 years ago, we are very isolated, nearest neighbours are miles away, and she doesn't drive. SAHM, we homeschool. We can't sell utill 2033 without losing half of the money to the previous owner due to unusual planning application.

She would leave me tomorrow if she had an escape route. She is repulsed by me.

Discovered Mrp in January. I'm lifting and training 5 x a week. Learning to STFU.This only seems to antagonise her. Ive read the top 3 from the sidebar.

I have been rejected sexually virtually daily. I have decided a period of monk mode without initiating would help me, and probably stop her feeling pressured. If a reset whilst I improve rekindles her attraction for me, I don't know. I know I need to be nice to her and kino her without initiating during this time but:

1)how do I stop my anger at her showing? After 25 years she reads my every micro expression. I can't help showing my resentment. I have build her dream, 4 kids and a farm from nothing, and we should be enjoying it and fucking like rabbits.

I am hoping not initiating will lessen my resentment, as I won't be actively rejected every day. I fear that this might make her day... She can have her cake without having to fuck me. So:

2) how long do I stop initiating? And how do I end the period of monk mode? With an ultimatum? With a request for an open relationship? Physically I am in pretty good shape already, and my career has built significantly since January. So I feel my sexual market value is already higher than hers. But I don't think that is the issue, we just have so much history.

Any thoughts greatly appreciated.