Self destruct

TheOakenshield · 2015-12-21T17:43:39+00:00

The problem is me not getting what I need

I'm tired of being alone

Boo fucking hoo.

Why do you need anything from your wife?

Everything you've posted screams lack of leadership to me.

Wife won't get up off her ass and stop watching TV? Same boat I was in. Your wife needs to know you don't need her and that you don't mind being alone. But you keep indicating you do need her and don't want to be alone. So what's her incentive to change?

After you blow your marriage up and find a woman to give you what you need, please give us an update on how it's going.

Sepean · 2015-12-21T16:50:03+00:00

So you're going MGTOW? Because if your SMV is as low as you describe it, it will be the same with the next girl.

enfier · 2015-12-21T23:51:37+00:00

I went through your post history, it seems like you've been at it for 4 months and your wife is on the lazy side. I'm going to assume that you are at least getting regular sex, even if it's low effort.

At some point in the MRP process you'll get to a point where you realize that your life is already awesome with or without your wife. At that point, where keeping your wife is optional, is a good time to sit down and reevaluate things. You'll have let go of most of the anger and it will be easier to decide if she's dead weight or if she adds value to your life.

At that point, you'll be a lot more detached from the outcome. But why serve her divorce papers and give up half your shit? You can come home and tell her that she can get off her ass, lose 20 lbs and keep shit clean around the house or find herself divorced. You could just cancel the cable and the credit cards and let her figure out the rest. Maybe you'll just tell her that you are getting a girlfriend. She might even be so lazy that she decides it's easier to live with it than to get off the couch and find a divorce lawyer.

I'm going to guess that by the time you get there, your situation will have changed in fundamental ways.

atticusfinch1973 · 2015-12-22T03:08:52+00:00

You can read my thread about blowing up my life for what it's worth, but one thing that stands out to me about your posts is that it doesn't sound like you're doing anything for yourself beyond considering divorce.

If you want to blow up your life, be prepared for what will happen afterwards. That means less time with your kids, smaller place to live and a largely inconvenient life for a while. If you're prepared to deal with that plus any financial repercussions then you have the option.

alpha_n3rd · 2015-12-21T16:20:59+00:00

Step 1. Retain a lawyer

Countpudyoola · 2015-12-21T16:25:59+00:00

You've been around for 4 months it looks like (at least posting not sure how long lurking). So I'll give you some assumption you're trying some things.

I'm assuming she's one that just isn't responding? Passing shit tests makes no difference? You're fully outcome independent, doing well with her or without her? Improved your life in all other areas?

So for just this moment: one thing I'll put out there is the old adage "never make promises when happy or big decisions when angry."

This time in particular why did things blow up? Why are you the one carrying the anger and she not? In my mind if you're pissed and angry making this decision instead of clear , yet resigned... you may be missing something.

Otherwise: start prepping and retain a lawyer.

Trekneck · 2015-12-21T16:58:04+00:00

Assuming you've reached maximum dread or don't care enough to do so, step #1 is to seek legal counsel. That said, major life decisions should not be made in the heat of the moment when your balls deep in feelz. Disconnect yourself, get some time away, then come back and make your decision.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-12-22T08:12:09+00:00

Have you tried improving before blowing it to hell? Do you even lift? Have you read mmsl? Where are you in your map?

There is a well characterized way to do this- dread has 12 levels and you are on level 2 or 3. It is not time for an ultimatum yet.

TrainingTheBrain · 2015-12-21T18:02:36+00:00

Take action, file the papers, find something that you enjoy and invest in that. What do you want an internet forum to do for you? It's your life, you make the call of where you want it to go.

assured_destruction · 2015-12-22T04:36:50+00:00

well this isn't the intelligent helpful advice I was hoping for from Reddit....but it pretty much is what I was expecting.

I especially like the personal comments, like being fat.. wow, that's good, but you forgot bald and hairy.

Should I continue to qualify myself, hmm, I think not. the low quality of the answers, with the possibility of I think 2, precludes any further involvement. I have shit to do.

Title	Self destruct
Author	assured_destruction
Upvotes	3
Comments	20
Date	December 21, 2015 4:04 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3xprui/self_destruct/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/self-destruct.207799 https://theredarchive.com/post/207799

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