Update: negotiated BJ

innominating · 2016-10-27T10:48:45+00:00

If she told you months ago she would never blow you again, then this is a baby step forward. You just royally fucked up what could have been a giant step.

Don't beat yourself up about it, because you've only been at this a couple of months, and many guys a couple of months in would do the same.

Further you have an uphill battle. I did a brief read through your post history and you have been Uber beta for years. No matter how perfectly you execute MRP, she has a historical narrative of you as a beta. It will take many months, if not years, for her to perceive you as Alpha.

Understanding that hurts, because you can bump into HB8 ten years younger than you who has no established narrative of you as a beta, and within an hour she will be begging you to come smash her, like she did.

But wait it gets worse, some months from now you will have improved and your wife won't see it, or so you will think, or she won't see it to the degree you want, and you'll be squarely in the anger phase.

So why keep going? Once you improve enough, for yourself - once you do it to satisfy your own internal drive to be your best self, and not as some covert contract for BJs and better sex, your wife will come around. Or, she won't and you'll be able to make a positive decision from firm footing to leave.

If you haven't, read the sidebar. I would start with NMMNG, then WISNIFG. WISNIFG is a boring read, but it was the most important for me. I was/am passive aggressive and learning to be more assertive has helped me feel more in control, helped get my needs met (sometimes too well), and changed my wife's perception of me over a year. Along with heavy lifting, leading, etc.

If you have read the sidebar, read it again, because you haven't internalized it. There should be a time when you read your post about BJ negotiation and laugh at yourself.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-10-27T10:52:44+00:00

Bet you wore that stupid sweater like a champ though.

Do you get it yet?

blimblamp · 2016-10-27T14:45:33+00:00

Let this be a lesson in AWALT. They're so predictable that men who have never met her can accurately guess exactly what she's going to do.

Scurvemuch · 2016-10-27T12:34:59+00:00

was it worth it to let her know that you are still her lil bitch?

Persaeus · 2016-10-27T11:26:47+00:00

don't be sad bro. it is an improvement over her just commanding her bitch to where the sweater.

NEVER NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORIST

pikadildo · 2016-10-27T13:01:59+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, dumbass version of me played this game for 17 years always finding some way to blame myself when it never worked out. I didn't comment in your previous post because I was hoping I was wrong and I didn't want to jynx you with my baggage.

When I stopped dancing like a monkey for these things my wife flipped the fuck out. I think I said something uncouth along the lines of "Sure. It obviously needs to be done. But can you please cut it out with your empty promises? It really pisses me off." She was pissed for weeeeeeks. But what the hell is there to debate about it? It's ridiculous. "Please don't do this, it's unnecessary, it pisses me off" and you're going to war about this? Because... I don't want to be pissed off at you? It was hilarious.

The way I understand this now is she derives pleasure from the negotiation--she gets to feel her sexual power over you. So obviously she's done as soon as you finish whatever was the task. After I've cooled off about it and gotten rid of that resentment, I let her play her fun game (and honestly why shouldn't it be a fun game?) but I draw it out a bit more and make her bargain for something more immediate that works into sexualizing her for the day. Think simple stuff that puts her on display as a sex object. Make her lick her lips, ask again with lipstick, have her whisper something naughty in my ear, flash me her boobs, give me her underwear. It can be a lot of fun but make it more immediate and part of a bigger game.

screechhater · 2016-10-27T04:34:30+00:00

The goal is to plant the seeds of future rendezvous much like keno. No demands. Your bitchin right ? Did your young strange things thing just not re enforce this ? What may I ask you, was insisted on by you with the interactions with young miss strange ?

You have had a great experience - but you just got checked for height and now you are getting seated in the ride - stop. Get off. Do not stay in this path.

What is the method for soft no's turning to resistance ? Is it insistence ? Or is it reduction of presence since you had better shit to do or strange waiting for you ? Well ? Stay off the ride !

The razors edge is yes you want her- but, she is resisting due to some preconceived notions about her motherhood vs being a woman to add value into your life and keeping you content as a man. Every action, step you take forward from this point is direct leadership. No limp dick behavior.

Yesterday, wife grabs my forearm while leading her through busiest airport in the US. Find the escalators, train, ride it to the gates section, hop off strait to the gate. HB8 with us - "damn he can travel. Your not kidding about his travels". as I go to get the coffees. Rental car, hotel, meals all my lead. Dinner tonight HB8 "fuck can he pick the restaurant or what ? ". Blown after dinner as I "need to be taken care of." BTW, I have the rental car agents phone number written by her found by the SO, on the rental contract ..... seeds, seeds. Just like kino. Your actions should be just like your interaction with Ms Strange- game, kino, idgaf and leadership, naturally - cause the world's bitchinist male, right ? Lots of abundance, right ?

Edit-/Add in May or June my wife and I run through "main event"- she states "no one will be having sex with this body especially you and I'm leaving you" my answer to that was yawn and and some words of Idgaf - "you may leave when the youngest is 18 and you may not be having sec but I will be"

Countpudyoola · 2016-10-27T13:30:25+00:00

Welp.

Sometimes it's good, no matter what we say, to see the real life examples play out.

Now you can start getting ahead of the curve instead of just being reactionary.

Tip: if there's ever another situation where she's doing this unenthusiastically have it not be a standing ordeal. Be laying down , and her head towards your feet. Then you can access her trigger areas and amp her up. Gotta take charge even in supposedly "one sided" situations.

BobbyPeru · 2016-10-27T04:52:55+00:00

The MRP army is right

This seems to be a common theme/trend. Guys coming on here asking for guidance and then not taking it to heart. This is after all "ask" MRP. If you're not internalizing the MRP army's words or more importantly MAP, you will stay blue pill.

Hopefully you learned something from this and do it differently next time. Fuck being happy with a duty BJ - you are selling yourself out

Alcebiadeeze · 2016-10-27T11:31:52+00:00

Not for nothing. I mean you did get a bj out of it.

You know what you do now? Lift, read, manly hobbies, etc....

The red pill is not a destination, it's a journey.

What can you knock out of the park today?

Update: negotiated BJ

Comments

ChiefCisHetRightHere

Title	Update: negotiated BJ
Author	prarrott
Upvotes	8
Comments	57
Date	October 27, 2016 3:34 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/59ly7g/update_negotiated_bj/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/update-negotiated-bj.206948 https://theredarchive.com/post/206948