When to stop STFU

SimilarSalvation · 2017-12-26T20:30:18+00:00

Treat your LTR like she is a four year old. Really!!

I have a four year old daughter and she is my best example of Red Pill truths and behiavours... And I am learning to apply the same techniques with my LTR as I do with my daughter.

My kid can get angry for several reasons and I respond in different ways to her being angry.

If she is being really unreasonable, I just ignore her. I "STFU" and go away.
If she is angry over something ridiculous, I laugh, joke or tease her and make her fun again.
Is she is angry for being scared or sad, I give her a big hug and comfort her.
And if she crosses a boundary, I will tell her so, be angry with her (don't get moved by her tears) and explain in a calm and reasonable voice as to why she can never do that again...
.
and if it was my fault, I OMS and apalogize

What I don't do with my four-year old is

explaining every action I make; every decision I take
arguing
let her boss me around
have her get her way

What you describe is a boundary indeed. But don't respond angry to her verbal diarrhea, explain to her why you can't allow that behavior to continue, as you would to a four year old...

bogeyd6 · 2017-12-26T23:56:12+00:00

Stfu stops when you can agree and amplify or deploy amused mastery. Generally the stfu phase last 90 days while you get a handle on yourself.

HLM34 · 2017-12-26T19:24:35+00:00

Do you reply to the verbal abuse?

My wife once came downstairs early in the morning and started going mental and swearing at me in front of the kids because i had not made her a cup of tea in bed.

She stormed out, i calmly said "don't talk to me like that, especially in front of the kids" STFU... Walk away.

This was the first time i stood up to her, she didn't know what to do she followed me and stammered her words... Apologized and went to have a cry.

I may be wrong but if you just STFU then that's just stonewalling and won't help.

snatch_haggis · 2017-12-26T19:27:14+00:00

"Better to close one's mouth and be thought a fool than to open it and remove any doubt."

IMO you're ready to speak up vs STFU when you can do it without anger.

That can be really hard at first. I think if you're past that, give it a shot. But still remember less is more. I try to think of the 3:1 rule for texts but verbally.

It does sound like you have a lot of boundaries being crossed and there may not be any way to enforce them other than speaking up. STFU+GTFO can help too but she may not be subtle enough to get it.

red-sfpplus · 2017-12-26T20:33:12+00:00

STFU stop

It doesn't stop. It progresses from STFU to physically leaving. If it is crosses into "disrespect" category, then that is when you grab your pre-packed gym bag and leave the fucking house.

If you are not at the point where you have "the look" that you can give the wife/kids that says "OK fucknuts, you have crossed the line and now it is time for YOU to STFU" then all you have in your deck of cards is physical removal from the situation.

Men are different. Never, and I mean never accept disrespect from another male.

Rageaway17 · 2017-12-26T19:40:07+00:00

STFU doesn't mean not talking at all. When we STFU, we're getting a lock on our feelings, we're not oversharing, we're not whining, complaining, begging, or emotionally puking.

But STFU does not mean that we cut important communication. If your wife is bad mouthing you, it's an opportunity for you to set and enforce a boundary.

Decide what you will tolerate and what you won't tolerate. When she does something intolerable (like insulting you, for example), tell her clearly not to talk to you that way, and then walk away. Withdraw your presence, go do something else. Go to the gym, go for a walk, go work on something. Don't get mad, but make it clear that you won't tolerate that behavior.

aurelius_shrugs · 2017-12-26T19:38:07+00:00

You lose your shit in front of your kids and you make a bad example. Otherwise, tell the cunt to shut her dick hole. What’s she going to do? Not fuck you.

BobbyPeru · 2017-12-26T23:57:36+00:00

It seems like we get a few of these every week. STFU doesn’t mean you go mute.

It means you keep it brief and don’t DEER.

There are ways of handling that type of verbal abuse without going down to her level.

Sidebar———>

man_in_the_world · 2017-12-27T02:16:05+00:00

Stop tolerating bullshit. Start showing controlled anger.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-12-27T16:23:44+00:00

You should definitely stand up for yourself. What you need to avoid is an argument. Remember, only fools argue with women!

However, I would try something like: "Hey chill out and stop talking to me with that level of disrespect. Try again."

jimmybo1972 · 2017-12-28T20:36:27+00:00

Stick with it. A FR example: My wife was bitching and screaming at our business the other night after we closed, about a shipment not arriving on time. I screw up and tell her don't take it out on me, which causes an immediate explosion. I almost start to argue with her but remember MRP and STFU, I look at her and tell her "don't holler at me", she screams "really" I look at her and said "don't scream at me period". I STFU went and got in the truck and she followed. I listened to some music and about half way home she apologizes. I said nothing went home took care of some things that took about 15 min and went to bed. The next morning she hops in the shower with me and asks if she can give me a bj. So STFU works. Only about 4 months into the red pill

screechhater · 2017-12-26T21:26:06+00:00

In order to save my marriage, I thought, I let dis respectful shit slide by over the years, until one day, I fucking exploded.

There is a huge difference between STFU and absorbing shit like a punching bag. When you are absorbing all that disrespect, then, you have a failure and eventually crack This not about you being a piece of shit kicked around by a woman just because you are married to her

When it comes to STFU, it's not really about standing there and taking it, It's about making sure you do not engage.

However, this "You're a fucking idiot! So fucking dumb! I can't believe how much of an idiot you are sometimes... Niggas like you ain't shit. You don't do anything right!" Blah blah blah... At one point she pushed me. would be my cue for the divorce attorney, from a ghetto boy that has gotten out, to where I am now, this would be it

bigOlBeta · 2017-12-26T23:25:26+00:00

You need to be taking this to a comical level. Lots of AA and turning things sexual. Just be more light-hearted and indirectly communicating that you DGAF about her mood or opinion

Title	When to stop STFU
Author	Marcus_Aurtrillius
Upvotes	7
Comments	51
Date	December 26, 2017 7:15 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7m9nhx/when_to_stop_stfu/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/when-to-stop-stfu.205024 https://theredarchive.com/post/205024

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