Are red flags from years ago still relevant?

CopperFox3c · 2016-11-16T21:46:03+00:00

This seems like a good time to re-highlight the phenomenon known as the Pre-Wall Prance:

The pre-wall prance is a pattern of behaviours by women where as they enter the epiphany stage, realizing they are nearing or have just started to hit the wall, they clean up their behaviour, attitudes, and presentation, in order to prance-like-a-unicorn.

The best illusions don't appear to be an illusion at all. Be aware.

nastynickdr · 2016-11-16T20:48:39+00:00

Plate? OK. Wrap it up, always.

LTR? Only if you are completely out of your mind. Or if you like being captain save-a-hoe.

mksu · 2016-11-16T21:41:53+00:00

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, “How do I know you won’t sting me?” The scorpion says, “Because if I do, I will die too.”

The frog is satisfied, and they set out. But in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp “Why?”

Replies the scorpion: “It’s my nature…”

Don't be the frog.

900PercentSaltIntake · 2016-11-16T20:50:30+00:00

I'm not really Looking for ...or that I'm trying to hamster these things away because they happened in the past.

damaged goods tend not to undamage themselves.

covertpenguin3390 · 2016-11-16T22:00:37+00:00

I've dated a similar type of girl. So sweet and so nice when I met her then admitted she used to strip, then that she actually did still go in 2-4 times a month. Still would take a hit of ex at the stripper job here or there and was a total hippy. Used to be a lesbian too even lol I had a great time for the few months we spent together, she was super nice and whenever her friends or brothers were around me they were super cool to me. Then one day she ghosted me... obvious she either relapsed or met someone else(what I think happened). We hooked up once or twice after that but that was about it. 10/10 would recommend but 0/10 if you're expecting an actual ltr from this broad. I enjoy dating and chasing girls and the GFE so I liked our time together and I also knew that this would end at some point and probably not by my choice so I had zero emotional pain from our split, but if you're not emotionally capable of that, get the fuck away now. She'll be temporary at best.

redhazardlights · 2016-11-16T21:16:32+00:00

I tend to take a more generous view of the female nature than many here, but this may be because I'm in my mid-30s. In my experience, people can change. If they want to. This is the caveat. People rarely want to.

Since you said you're not looking for quick answers, let me elaborate. The answer to your question lies in the woman's motivation for change. Can people ever recover from being alcoholics? Of course they can. Can people overcome shitty family situations? Of course. Do 2nd marriages tend to outlast 1st ones? Why yes, they do. So there is abundant evidence to suggest that some people can change, when the motivation for change comes from within. If women can't change, then men can't either, and all the poor desperate guys here who need RP to help them bang chicks are I guess destined to be sad betas forever.

But we don't believe that. So I will ask you, what are her motivations for changing? Maybe you have to start sleeping with her to truly understand, and that's a risk. But if you're observant, conversation and her daily actions can clue you in. Does she work on bettering herself in general? Does she try to learn new things, refine skills she has, and display genuine curiosity about the world? If so then I would say there is a chance she could really have changed her life. Is there a risk she might return to her old ways given enough hurdles? Certainly. It's unclear from your post if you yourself are thinking of going for her, and if you are this is a call only you can make. But I think it's unfair to say "once a slut, always a slut" and in my experience this mentality tends only be be spouted by those who aren't bright enough take context into consideration along with general rules.

FemtoG · 2016-11-16T22:17:43+00:00

incredibly relevant of course.

but not an ironclad NO (well, if you believe in miracles).

as long as you proceed with intense caution, you should be able to protect yourself from any significant damage

raisins3142 · 2016-11-17T05:46:40+00:00

Yes, I'd consider it a big deal. People are able to act like they've changed much more easily than actually change. Also, why put up with this when you can find someone without struggles/hurdles/stigma? It's like hiring an excon to prove a point to your neighbor or something. Strive for more abundance.

If she was ever able to be a stripper/addict, then she was majorly fucked up. Go forward at your own risk.

quicklogaccount · 2016-11-17T15:57:41+00:00

/u/redhazardlights gave you an amazing answer. Be skeptical and observant, and you can make yourself safer. Here are some points of personal opinion.

Drug abuse:
This bit is really unlikely to change. What could have made her wake up, if the accident didn't? You can make a parallel with the amount of partners here, addicts will often only "count" if a certain threshold has been reached, and their threshold is far from safe and harmless. A close relative only counts it if she has stolen things from home and sold it, otherwise it didn't happen.
They're also prone to an insane level of entitlement, they think they deserve all the help they MIGHT NEED to rebuild their lives. Your every day awalt is an accountable trustworthy person in comparison.
If she still drinks (socially) or smokes, forget it. I'd be reluctant to trust it if she's uncomfortable with anything on her looks and hasn't done anything to change it too. Chubby, or something that a surgery would fix. Good signs would be having joined some "cult for sports", yoga life, crossfit life, running marathons, rock climbing...

Lots of dumb Tats, former stripper:
She is a CC ridden woman. This isn't a red flag, it is a warning label. You know what that means. She IS more troubling than a woman who is not, despite swearing she is just like a church girl.
She IS more prone to betafy. She is more prone to nag. She will shit test more. She feels she's entitled to more. She is less grateful. She probably can't bond properly and she probably has a long lost love who's the superman for her.
The chance she IS NOT like that is IRRELEVANT. Over 3.5 billion women in the planet and I doubt any CC ridden one is different. That's how we evolved to be. What might have happened is her reaching a rational understanding that she is meant to act better, but that will come with some frustration. I wouldn't bet on that either though.
The catch with CC ridden women is always the same. She is a LOT more trouble, you'll need to be an uber alpha 24/7 forever, no weekends, no days off. What does she offer in return? Is it worth it?

Tiway22 · 2016-11-16T21:38:53+00:00

Dude why would you settle for someone so obviously low value? Drug problems, rehab, stripping, WTF.

Past experience dictates future outcomes or possibilities, even if she appears to be functioning normally now.

We all make mistakes, but you shouldn't make any mistakes with this one.

The only reason you're posting this is because your options must be fucking moot. When you've got 10 other girls who have NOT had any of these problems, how could you even consider her?

Title	Are red flags from years ago still relevant?
Author	Terdmuffin
Upvotes	5
Comments	24
Date	November 16, 2016 8:28 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5dbi4f/are_red_flags_from_years_ago_still_relevant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/are-red-flags-from-years-ago-still-relevant.77690 https://theredarchive.com/post/77690

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