Girlfriend texting another guy and trying to get coffee with him? Behind my back?

Aaren_Augustine · 2017-04-20T12:09:25+00:00

Its called a date. She knows what she's doing. Other dude knows what she's doing. You know what she's doing.

And when you ghost her, she'll know exactly why

mabden · 2017-04-20T12:33:32+00:00

she has never mentioned that she has a boyfriend to him

You can always tell how loyal (interest level/attraction) a chick is by how soon they bring up their boyfriend when conversing with another guy.

DiggerClam · 2017-04-20T12:11:20+00:00

Jesus, are you asking for our permission to demote get to plate status? Permission granted

Arcturus_ · 2017-04-20T12:13:48+00:00

You're so RP man.

Docbear64 · 2017-04-20T12:14:27+00:00

She's getting ready to swing from one branch to another .

the_bum_hammer · 2017-04-20T15:28:57+00:00

Checking phones is never worse than your girlfriend sucking some cock behind your back. SHE is at fault here, not you.

Judging by the texts they're in class with one another, and they joke around and are light flirty with one another. You know she sends emojis, over the top laughs at his weak ass jokes, etc. call me crazy, it's not for the fuck of it.

When a NEW guy is in the picture and has her attention, she will fuck him.

Worst part about all of this, is that she has never mentioned that she has a boyfriend to him at all in their conversations. Humor me here people, is there ever a legitimate reason for a girl to not mention her girlfriend to a guy like him? Why would she say she was with her friends during the weekend and not me? What should I do here? Is she having an emotional relationship or am I being unreasonable?

She's not going to mention you because she wants a taste of his cock and if he has even remotely more morals than she does, he'd bail. So, either you don't exist or you guys "broke up." Most likely possibility, sadly, is he doesn't give a shit. HE isn't doing anything wrong. Your girl is.

Is she having an emotional relationship or am I being unreasonable?

"Emotional affair" is the lie you tell yourself because you can't just say AFFAIR. She's going to fuck/suck that cock. It might make you emotional, but she's just getting physical.

By the way, him asking her out is called a date, no matter what euphemisms you use.

Bitchezbecrayy · 2017-04-20T12:14:28+00:00

Pretty obvious.

Demote to plate status and start hitting up other thots asap.

refusewool · 2017-04-20T12:55:38+00:00

Search 'bitch management' in the main sub and read both posts. As others have alluded to, she has disrespected you and does not value your relationship and therefore should be demoted from LTR. Regardless of whether or not she goes through with it, it's too late. Think of the Brad Pitt rule -- would a girl in a relationship with him start seeing other guys for coffee dates?

Unless the guy is a complete and obvious beta bitch, there is no 'friendship' on the cards. You said yourself she is giving him IOIs (laughing excessively, late night flirty texting etc).

Best to demote her to plate and generally withdraw your time and investment. Don't say why. Fuck her some more but begin the phasing out process.

walawalawa · 2017-04-20T13:32:56+00:00

Same thing was happening to me with one of my plates. I put my foot down...she amped up the crazy sex...I downgraded her and started banging other plates and spreading myself around...

THAT...is the smart move.

Because when it ends....and dude...it WILL end better on your terms than hers...you won't feel like such a cuck.

In my case...I banged her one last time. She provoked a needless argument that I didn't buy into...she still had a tantrum...

I ghosted. By ghosting I mean...this time I disappeared for good and she knew why...that's why she was trying to throw shit on me to make it seem like she was justified to tree branch.

It's been 3.5 months with zero contact. I'm banging other girls, going out, having a blast.

You should too. Get an exit strategy and find a way out.

When you leave, don't explain....just delete, block and never speak to her again.

it works.

DamnDirtyApe87 · 2017-04-20T15:28:18+00:00

Jesus christ dude, besides the ton of people here telling you the obvious you keep hamstering away. You know the truth, now go deal with it.

Your watch has ended, go talk to other women.

281threethreeoh8004 · 2017-04-20T13:28:06+00:00

You know about it going down. She doesn't know that you know.

You can either take all of this advice you've already been given and ghost her or you can give her a chance to mention the meet after the fact.

I think you know what you should do, but you're waiting for us to reason with you and support what you want to hear.

she has the perfect cover for what this actually is

She can say it's a study meet since they're in class together. Only thing is that you know that's not true and it doesn't take reading her texts to know that. If she was actually meeting him for any other reason, she would've mentioned it to you.

You're toast. Ghost her. Never turn back. Never respond to her.

281threethreeoh8004 · 2017-04-20T14:56:49+00:00

In my opinion, if she's literally never mentioned you then she's leaving the door open for him.

0kool74 · 2017-04-20T15:00:24+00:00

My only question is why haven't you set up having coffee with someone? I mean, if she can do it why can't you?

LordShoan · 2017-04-20T15:39:04+00:00

You are such an autist.. stop asking for help and then just throwing the most obvious answer off. Have fun getting cucked and don't forget to write a FR on how you got cucked.

uwotm891 · 2017-04-20T22:29:01+00:00

Troll or supreme sperg overlord. How the fuck is this so hard for you to understand, op? Yes, you're still a beta cuck if your girl tries to fuck another dude, but doesn't on account of the guy. Yes, he's laughing at you, but he most likely feels pity towards you for being a weak man. Quit being such a bitch and move on. Do you not have a shred of dignity? Do you not have any self-respect for yourself? If this is not a troll post, please answer my questions. After you answer my questions then, and only then, will I take this shit seriously.

starkiwi · 2017-04-20T19:31:17+00:00

No. NO. Leave now, don't try to rationalize this or think about how somehow you can work this out. Based on what you wrote in the OP your relationship is done. Done. Finished. She doesn't give a single fuck about you. You owe her nothing. Don't bring it up with her, don't engage in argument, there is nothing to argue about. Just tell her you're finished and walk away. Let her pretend to cry about if if she wants, you focus on you, and making the next one better.

That's my advice and I'm sure a few people here will agree with me.

PurpleDrank88 · 2017-04-20T20:29:35+00:00

So I read through several of the comment conversations in here. Here's how I'd lay it out to you.

You checked the convo and she didn't mention you to the guy once. Going to guess he doesn't know she has a boyfriend but odds are he also probably doesn't care. Call me a scumbag if you want, but I've never been bothered by the fact that a girl has a boyfriend. If she's into me and wants to hook up, that's her and her bf's problem not mine. I'm going to hook up with her.
You've asked in your comments if this sounds like a date. Who cares how you define the term "date". The fact of the matter is this girl is going to hang out one-on-one with some dude who's been flirting with her and she hasn't brought you up once. This should not be happening in an LTR at all. I would bet good money that she has already thought about whether she would cheat on you with this guy.
Girls who respect you, who want you, and who value you in an LTR will not do anything like this. For example, I once had an LTR where I had laid out plain and simple that I didn't tolerate the whole being "friends" thing with past fuck buddies and/or LTRs (i.e. "You can do what you want, you're your own person, but my personal boundaries are X Y and Z, just FYI"); the girl literally went within the next week to two of her "friends" who she'd hooked up with in the past (including one who had asked her out a few months before me) and told them they couldn't be friends anymore. I didn't even reference them once to her or ask her to do it, she just did it. Girls who are doing shit like your girl is doing should be hard nexted as soon as possible.

You are not being unreasonable at all. What do you think she would do/say if the situation was reversed?

Like I said, my recommendation is to hard next and start seeing multiple plates. However, if you do want to keep this girl for whatever reason, then I would tell her what your boundaries are (speak calmly and rationally and don't break frame) and then I would ghost her for a few days. However, again, I would recommend hard nexting and getting rid of her.

Edit: Also, quit posting about how much you love her on social media. I can't find the post right now, but the best piece of advice I've seen on here with respect to social media was essentially that you let the girl post shit about you, you don't post shit about her. All you posting shit about her does is validate her while also giving her comfort in her mind that any girl who follows you is gonna know you're off the market. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with telling a girl you love her, TRP isn't about being a total asshole/abusing to women, but stop getting all corny and "romantic" on social media. Like most things girls say they wish guys did, they say they want a guy who does this but in reality they don't want it at all.

Throwawayhelp551 · 2017-04-20T21:50:47+00:00

he asked if she would be down to hangout this week and she suggested that they meet over coffee at a spot near a beach in our neighborhood.

The onus is on a gf to turn down the advances of other men. Other men will always proposition women. This is an offense deserving automatic plate status. In r/poly terms, she has opened up your relationship without your consent. The onus is upon you to act accordingly.

Worst part about all of this

No, this is all out of the TRP handbook (this is why asktrp gets flooded by Read the SidebarⓇ comments) and follows the betaization timeline. Are you ready for your upcoming orbiter/cuck status?

is that she has never mentioned that she has a boyfriend to him at all in their conversations.

Because she is securing Plan B or outright branch swinging. Girls don't break up until hey are ready to move on.

Humor me here people, is there ever a legitimate reason for a girl to not mention her girlfriend to a guy like him?

"Its called a date. She knows what she's doing. Other dude knows what she's doing. You know what she's doing."

Are they siblings? Cousins?

Why would she say she was with her friends during the weekend and not me?

Because you are already an orbiter in her mind. With how desperate you sound, you seem to be the needy, clingy type.

What should I do here?

Ghost, break up or plate her.

Take your pick.

Is she having an emotional relationship or am I being unreasonable?

lol. Well mr Alfalfa, is your name Billy Beta?

uwotm891 · 2017-04-21T14:58:03+00:00

You got it bub

waking-life · 2017-04-20T12:43:37+00:00

She may have told him about you in person, yo. Maybe. It's the kind of thing you would usually know about a person before you start texting them.

Title	Girlfriend texting another guy and trying to get coffee with him? Behind my back?
Author	Throwawayhelp551
Upvotes	0
Comments	133
Date	April 20, 2017 12:03 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/66h8ki/girlfriend_texting_another_guy_and_trying_to_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girlfriend-texting-another-guy-and-trying-to-get.89815 https://theredarchive.com/post/89815

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