How can you guys have fun without drinking?

lietruth · 2016-12-30T17:06:24+00:00

I don't drink alcohol and I have a ton of fun all the time.

The reason you are more charming and social while drinking is because alcohol lowers your inhibition. This tells me that you probably are probably neurotic and more of a type A personality.

It's all about cultivating a strong internal frame with lowered inhibition. That means just speaking your mind, & letting the conversation flow without any goals in mind. Read "The Charimsa Myth" for help with this.

Queefy_McGee · 2016-12-30T18:04:52+00:00

Practice your game/social skills over time through random encounters. Here are some of mine I did this week:

I like your hair (random cashier)
Don't work too hard to drive-thru worker
At hospital - food service workers enter elevator with random tray of food. I ask if they have any cookies for me when it was obviously a sandwhich tray - they both laugh and play along for 10 seconds socially before get off at the next level.

These random encounters may sound silly, but they have been immense to frame development (wit, charm, confidence, IDGAF attitude).

Shyrk · 2016-12-30T20:18:15+00:00

I am a career bartender who is five months sober (basically unheard of) I spend my entire life in bar scenarios so going sober was no easy task.

The best advice I can give is just GET USED to being in these same situations while not drinking. I noticed immediately that it took much longer to get "on/in state" without alcohol. Without the social lubricant it took longer to loosen up and feel comfortable. Accept that it will be this way for a while. I'm in the environment nightly and it's only just starting to feel completely normal sober now.

Order soda water or red bull in a cocktail glass and TIP YOUR BARTENDER extraordinarily well. Soda water is usually free or $1, most bartenders will be very understanding, and if you're leaving a few bucks every time they're going to give you priority over other customers. Bam, instant social proof, and you're saving a shitload over what you'd spend on drinks.

The reason I say in a cocktail glass is that a HUGE part of the pressure to drink is in the security that having that glass provides. Even if you're not doing the whole "hold my drink in front of my chest" move (you're NOT DOING THIS, RIGHT?) there is a bit of a safe spot behind having the drink with you. But you need to realize that the security is in the vessel, not the drink itself. Not only do you feel just fine holding a soda water, you stay sharp, sober, and on top of shit, which makes you the wittiest guy in the place. Exploit this + your new bartender friend (because you've been tipping him up the ass while still paying less than you would for a cocktail) and make your own fun, dogg.

Side note, I've also found that telling girls I don't drink, while having an absolute blast in the bar, really intrigues them. Makes for good conversation, flirty moments where they'll want to sip your drink to see if you're lying, etc. Treat it like it's no big deal and it blows their minds.

SpinPlates · 2016-12-30T20:06:31+00:00

I'm not going to pretend like I have the SAME amount of fun when I'm sober...But drinking just isn't worth it to me. Ive only gotten drunk 4 or 5 times in 2016.

Yes. Drinking is a lot of fun. But for me when you factor in the wasted money, time and health issues its not worth it.

exemptme · 2016-12-30T22:24:00+00:00

I drink non alcoholic beer

randarrow · 2016-12-30T19:17:17+00:00

Five tips

Practice. One of the things they tell recovering alcoholics is learn to have fun while sober. Do everything sober other people would only so drunk.
Alcohol doesn't just provide seditives, also provides fuel. Continuously consume a little bit of sugar (no heavy sodas, regardless or sweetened or diet) to keep energy. When I'm running light I keep some hard candy, or drink soda water with grapefruit juice spritzer. Some carbs are great, lots of carbs have the opposite effect and you'll crash. You'll end up coming up with your power meal. Heck you should be planning diets depending on your plans, and adjust for socializing/working/resting/healing/detox/cutting/bulking. Your socializing diet is just another mode you need to develop.
Protein. Primates bond while eating protein, consume some to trigger those instincts.
Stick to familiar places. New places are off putting, just like unpleasant plaves. Stick to places you know and find pleasant.
Know your cycle. I have a hard time being social on Fridays, stress from work and exhaustion. I'm often so stressed people look at me with concern in their eyes. My night is Saturday.

McCoop_ · 2016-12-30T18:14:56+00:00

It may be a case where most of your casual conversations take place when you drink at parties. Try to socialise more in other settings, like after class, a dinner or lunch setting, waiting in line (if they appear interested in talking), etc. Basically try to find natural situations for conversation when you aren't drinking alcohol. The simplest example would be to go to the same parties but drink something non alcoholic. If people ask why say you have to drive home or in the morning. It will come with practice over time.

minoc_uo · 2016-12-30T20:32:22+00:00

smoke weed.

just kidding.

Lice138 · 2016-12-30T21:22:34+00:00

"fun" is really just the joy of overcoming obstacles to reach a desired goal, its a mental thing not physical.

Using alcohol is a way of not confronting the obstacles in front of you to take a short cut to a goal (women in your case).

I would recommend facing your personality issues head on, try to talk to others while actively monitoring how you interact with them and adjust on the fly.

InformalCriticism · 2016-12-30T22:24:12+00:00

Keep current on current events, but apply your personal take on things - keep it quick and fresh like A&A.

Be capable of articulating your interests and hobbies to the spectrum of people. This will take some getting used to, because you have to "sell" your passions with positive enthusiasm for anyone to give a shit about your interests. Otherwise, you will have to rely on listening to other people to be engaging or make connections.

Extroversion has a lot to do with the desire to share your thoughts with others. If this is completely new and foreign to you, start by honing in on what things are important to you that affect others or might matter to other people; go out of your way to educate yourself on common interests to connect with people.

The most "practical" tip I can give you is to talk about and share funny things. The more you tune into what makes people laugh and what your strengths are as a communicator (verbal, non-verbal) the easier it will be to be more organic instead of relying on recycled information.

It takes practice.

PraetereoBonobos · 2016-12-30T17:16:06+00:00

You got to ask yourself some important questions, why are you being uptight/rude? Is it because you're having withdrawals? Is it because you are uncomfortable connecting with people? Why can't you be "loose" are you afraid you will get insulted, hurt, or say something people don't agree with?

I could go on, point is you need to do some self reflection, recognize when you are being and uptight ahole and correct as necessary. It will happen over time if you want it and it will take some trial and error and some time getting use too.

sunkindonut149 · 2016-12-30T18:58:54+00:00

Ask them to mix "bitters" with some seltzer so that it turns brown like a beer.

dothingsright_ · 2016-12-30T19:02:09+00:00

I don't drink at all. And I still have fun.

true_detective_sf · 2016-12-30T23:24:17+00:00

I don't have fun going out, so I don't do it much.

But I have a lot of fun feeling good every hour I am awake, being healthy, focusing on personal improvement, traveling and exploring the world, accomplishing things at work, playing sports, hanging out with good friends, pursuing women (still suck at this, but getting better)

squidracer · 2016-12-31T00:06:07+00:00

I gave up drinking for almost 5 years. I was just like you, even tho I had fun while sober, I had a freaking blast while drinking.

I'm currently drinking a johnny walker and sprite while writing this.. Don't fight it bro.

Title	How can you guys have fun without drinking?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	27
Comments	30
Date	December 30, 2016 5:01 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5l4g34/how_can_you_guys_have_fun_without_drinking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-can-you-guys-have-fun-without-drinking.182377 https://theredarchive.com/post/182377

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