"I have a Boyfriend"

StarDestinyGuy · 2016-04-15T13:29:47+00:00

Me: Let's grab drinks

Her: I have a boyfriend

"Congratulations - let's grab drinks"

[deleted] · 2016-04-15T14:52:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SkorchZang · 2016-04-15T13:58:44+00:00

"So does my girlfriend" is a strange answer, combative and leaves her no choice but play the unfuckable unslut script with you.

You want more this kind of tone:

her: "I have a BF"

you: "Oh my god. How long've had this problem?"

"So... you think it's true love?"

"I mean... he would not mind if you had a drink with a random handsome guy you happened to meet, right?"

"Really, he would mind? Wow...So, d'you have to get his permission to talk to other men?"

You need to create this feeling, like it's you + her, jokingly scheming a cute heist together. To save her from this boyfriend situation, because that's exactly what it is. She probably wants to go with you, or she wouldn't mind, but doesn't quite see the right excuse she could use to do it. This re-alignment where you're suddenly on the same team together, provides it.

Shootlawd · 2016-04-15T14:01:37+00:00

He can come too but he's buying his own beers.

Whisper · 2016-04-15T21:19:47+00:00

She was very much interested

... until you said that, she was.

"So does my girlfriend." is too immediate, too raw, too serious. You made her feel like a slut. It might have worked on some bar ho, but not on the kind of girl who does most, or all, of her sex in relationships.

You should have said "So do I."

EssexMum · 2016-04-15T21:36:44+00:00

"it's a bit too early for you to be calling me your boyfriend, don't you think?"

thefisherman1961 · 2016-04-15T14:59:32+00:00

Shit test failed. You could have said, "We're just friends, and friends get drinks together all the time." Or even "I don't care", that would have been better than what you said.

BlackPhoenix01 · 2016-04-15T15:21:26+00:00

Watch this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqDbb7-dn9A

Tone done the rudeness (i.e.: don't say 'fuck you') but leave. In my experience taken women aren't worth your time

SeekingTheWay · 2016-04-15T13:34:31+00:00

similar scenario:

Me: Let's grab drinks

Her: My boyfriend wouldn't like that

Me: No problem, just keep him at home then.

fnordsnord · 2016-04-15T14:49:11+00:00

She wasn't that interested to begin with, and used your odd answer and an excuse to disengage.

I usually go with "he's not here" and game as usual.

Another alternative is "I was offering drinks, not my hand in marriage."

MattyAnon · 2016-04-15T16:56:23+00:00

She was very much interested

She was pretending to be very much interested to gain validation from you.

"So does my girlfriend" is a reasonable enough answer. "I have a boyfriend" means either "Back off" or "Proceed but know that I've got a boyfriend". Find out by escalating. Which you did, so fair enough.

How would you deal with such thing?

Next.

Look... women communicate randomly and ambiguously. There isn't a secret rulebook of female communication that you can decipher and suddenly they make sense. This is a bluepill myth... that men misread the signs. Reality is that women are intentionally misleading and ambiguous to suit their purposes.

Look... basically this happens... you can't win 'em all... just ignore and carry on (with someone else).

Solitary_Wolf · 2016-04-15T16:01:48+00:00

"i dont want to be your boyfriend"

Tharberg · 2016-04-15T16:09:21+00:00

i have a dog

OwenOne · 2016-04-15T14:50:39+00:00

Pressure flip: "Ah, so he is a jealous type?"

MeatCurtainRod · 2016-04-15T15:54:18+00:00

If you play it that way, you bring her into slut behavior category. She will immediately shut you down. You really need to keep it light and/or funny when asking girls out on dates.

trancedj · 2016-04-15T17:42:56+00:00

Dude - I used almost that exact same line this week. Her jaw hit the floor. I tried back pedaling but it was too late the damage was done. Next time I'll remind myself not to be a dumbass. Or even better, leave her a bit of plausible deniability. Glad to see I'm not the only one bumping around breaking shit out here. ;)

Psychonaut3 · 2016-04-15T19:02:04+00:00

focus on her intentions not the content of her words, she was maybe saying this to see how you would act, more likely i think, she is saying she is not interested. Either way look at your intentions you said this because you thought pre-selection would "help". Do you see the insecurity behind this? That's what she felt, your intentions your words meant nothing

fistbang · 2016-04-15T19:08:25+00:00

"Cool. He can watch."

AFPJ · 2016-04-15T14:49:54+00:00

blase "So?" or "Okay" followed by good eye contact / body language. Women are playing a game - and two standards are at play. Women know that women lie & say things to get what they want, therefore their words have little to do with reality and are inconsequential. Alas, women also know that men are conditioned to be honest because there are social consequences for men lying, therefore our words are consequential. You shit on yourself with that response.

nathanisfat · 2016-04-15T16:11:13+00:00

"I don't want to keep you, I just want drinks."

"We could have drinks at my place if you're afraid he'll show up."

Title	"I have a Boyfriend"
Author	YerriPulka
Upvotes	15
Comments	38
Date	April 15, 2016 1:24 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4ewoxh/i_have_a_boyfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-have-a-boyfriend.103992 https://theredarchive.com/post/103992

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