I need help. I have been reading TRP all day and I am going to continue consuming as much of this literature as possible, but I need some immediate short term advice/help.
I was reading lots of this TRPesque stuff a few years ago and I used it to attract and start a relationship with a beautiful, smart, fucking insane girl. I was 24 and she was 21. We had a crazy whirlwind relationship. We fucked several times every day and all through the night. She would blow me for no reason. We clicked on every level. We had similar interests, and shit like that. She worshipped the ground walked on. I had my game on lock, the only mistake I made was falling for her.
Fast forward, my girlfriend of 3 years and I have been having issues lately. I let our relationship become somewhat stagnant, and I have lost confidence. I moved to a new state to get a job, and I let her follow me. I bought a condo and she lives there with me. She just got a good job (I still make more than her, but her confidence is way up). I started going to the gym again and trying to regain my alpha. Every now and then I start to regain frame but then it slips again.
I am still very in control and dominant in most social situations, but she later resents me for it and tells me I'm being a dick. When I assert dominance over other people, she thinks it makes me look weak. The people I assert this dominance over are almost never resentful of it, and I do it subconsciously.
She manipulates me into doing whatever she wants now. She used to do whatever I wanted. I have massively lost my frame in this relationship.
Last night, I was indulging her in an argument. I normally just tell her the way that things are. When I am not being a pussy in life in general, she respects that. When I slip, she starts to question my authority. Anyway, we were having this argument about some inane shit, and she let slip that some guy had texted her asking to go get coffee. I told her that I don't want her hiding things from me and it's not OK. I asked to see the text. She said she couldn't show me because she had deleted the conversation because she, "didn't want to look at it."
Later, I look over her shoulder and she is texting her female friend, and I see that she has texted her friend a screenshot of the text convo with this dude, saying, "lol guy misses me."
Her friend is like, "are you going to go get coffee with him?"
So later, I can't sleep, and she is passed out hard. I grab her phone and go through it. Everything about this dude has been deleted. I look through the convo with her female friend, and I see the text.
He is like, "I miss seeing you. They forgot to give me a reminder call the other day." (until recently she was a receptionist at the hair salon he gets cut at).
She replies, "haha. yeah new receptionist girl sucks compared to me."
He says, "That's why I miss you. Your beautiful smile, your easy laughs at my dumb jokes. Want to get coffee sometime soon, or just get married?"
There is no reply from her. In the text convo with her female friend, friend asked if she got coffee with him. She said no, she decided not to. Friend says haha good.
I look at a convo from her other female friend, and she asked, "so did you ever get coffee with that dude?"
She said, "No I decided not to. I came home and regainframe was watching Reservoir Dogs by himself while drinking and doing dishes. I knew then that it was true love."
Her friend says, "probably for the best."
She told me that her female friend gave the dude her number, but I know that's not true so I call her out on it. She gives in and said she texted him a reminder for his appointment one time. I say what the fuck ever. I can't trust you. You won't stop lying. I think we're done.
Now there are obviously a multitude of things wrong with this situation and the way I handled it. She lied and told many partial truths, concealing her true intentions and manipulating me. I told her last night that I was done. She said I'm sorry I love you let's talk about this tomorrow. I said yeah we will see. I told her I can't abide lying. She swore she never cheated on me. I don't think she did, but that's also not my concern here. She says it would have just been coffee and she just liked the attention, but I know she at least had the intention to let this guy initiate some sort of courtship.
I have not spoken to her since. She texted me a couple times and I haven't responded. I have to see her tonight after work since she lives with me. How the fuck do I handle this situation?
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