Permanently damaged ego because i couldn't please a girl..

MR_SKINNYPENIS69 · 2019-10-07T09:14:15+00:00

Some people just don't have sexual chemistry. I have met women I could make cum all night long; others I couldn't even get to cum once. It's just that you don't click with everyone.

hatefulreason · 2019-10-07T10:37:23+00:00

If she fucked you for 7 months you were doing something right. It probably was your self defeating attitude (most of us have it)that ruined your plate (you better not tell me you fell in love for the town bike).

Sometimes i cant get my gf(yea i know) to cum because she gets too aroused and it starts to hurt if she doesnt finish fast. Considering i couldnt make her cum for months on end and she kept coming back, i stopped worrying about it

quelube · 2019-10-07T08:47:08+00:00

No matter how big the bamboo, it’ll never make up for the size of a well. Simple. Also she seems way too perverted to be satisfied by normal sex. It’s just not your fault.

furcryingoutloud · 2019-10-07T13:43:16+00:00

If a woman won't cum, I next her. I'm probably not her man. When a woman likes a man, she comes from hearing his voice. Yeah, I've heard all the "I don't normally cum". "I never cum". No bitch, you just don't like me. That simple. My advice, just next and find one that does like you.

DerDroogie · 2019-10-07T08:56:55+00:00

You’re getting your internal value from the choice of a woman. If a woman doesn’t want to orgasm, she won’t, and that gives her power over you.

Here’s a different way to think about it:

“A guy is walking around a brothel naked with a raging ONE INCH fully erect penis. A girl walks up to him and laughs, she point to his dick and exclaims “Who are you going to please WITH THAT!?!”

His answer: “the only one who matters: ME”

FereallyRed · 2019-10-07T10:22:00+00:00

When I was thirteen I loved to juggle.

One day I tried juggling axes. Sliced the palm of my hand wide open. Hospital, stitches, lectures, huge scar still visible 30 years later, palmistry readers just stare.

How do I get over it?

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-10-07T10:16:57+00:00

She is there to please you. Not the other way around.

Shit happens. If she's not enjoying it, it's her responsibility to say what you can do. Unless she does, just please yourself.

Pushnikov · 2019-10-07T12:07:21+00:00

Did anyone ever make her cum? Simply put, you’re putting your value in another persons hands who doesn’t care about you anymore, and in a situation you can’t resolve anymore. You will continue to grow from that moment unless you are stuck on it. If you don’t accept you can and will change, then you will never change.

Corvus_Uraneus · 2019-10-07T14:09:07+00:00

I had a girlfriend like that in college. Before her sex was effortless and fun. But she had all these rules regarding oral and fingering her, said I wasn't allowed to complain about the frequency of sex (she gave me plenty of head) but when we had sex she was just a starfish and I was so sex starved I didn't last long enough for her to get off while operating within her narrow rules for sex.

Really made me feel inadequate, until we broke up for unrelated reasons. Then sex was fun again. Funny thing is she started dating a mutual friend of ours, one day he complained to me about how sex with her was and how she made him feel about it. I let him know she wasn't satiable by me, or the guys before me she complained about. He found someone else and now they're happily married.

Sometimes its just the girl's fault, some can't orgasm through sex alone and if they're way too rigid about other forms of getting them off, its on them and they're a lost cause.

You're not responsible for both of your orgasms. Honestly, do you give them credit for getting you off? Wouldn't you "get there" no matter who you're fucking? Then whats the common denominator?

i-am-the-prize · 2019-10-07T14:48:44+00:00

I knew one girl, not sure if the one you describe was like this, but after comparing notes with a guy (grad school friend of one of my college friends) who also fucked her, she was a manipulator. Turns out, she told both of us:

1) we had tiny dicks (umm, no, tape measures don't lie)

2) she climaxed "with every other guy except [us]"; also not true, she didn't with either of us)

3) she was really into kink and stuff (yet she didn't respond to anything I tried) and i wasn't green when i met her, I had an N count over 20 by then and knew how to make a woman really want me.

Until he and I chatted and compared notes I figured, "well, I just didn't turn her on" (but had a high enough count that I knew I wasn't the problem).... I think she was damaged and it was purely a defense mechanism, i think she was crazy cold and used her 'persona' to proactively defend, it was nutso how he and I had the exact same *act* from her. Does this girl have a very high pitched voice? (sexual abuse trait, their voice can 'freeze' at the age of their abuse) the one i described did. https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2002/apr/30/20020430-042342-4180r/

OK now back to the important part: YOU. So for you, get out there and have more fun and gain some sexual experience. do not dwell. If you practice DEVI and are attentive and clean and smell good and have a good body and don't cum in 20 seconds every time, you WILL make a woman happy. Period. End of Story. Hard Stop.

Notice how every one of those things is fixable/attainable/doable (DEVI, attentive, clean, smell good, in-shape, not always premature ejac) so this is yours to BE and yours to DO.

[deleted] · 2019-10-07T09:00:40+00:00

Don't be a pathetic weak man. Getting off a slut isn't your responsibility

Jugurthajones87 · 2019-10-07T15:13:16+00:00

Hey OP, this isn’t the sort of thing you get over just by telling yourself to. By doing this every week for seven months and failing every time, you’ve programmed yourself to see yourself as a failure in the bedroom. You’ve got a lot of memories based around it now and those memories are heavily weighted with emotion. You need to untie those emotions so that the memories don’t get heavier with time (and they will). This is the sort of thing that can change your life because it’s so profoundly affected how you see yourself. You weren’t dominant enough (the fact that you’d ask her what she wanted beforehand, rather than just taking it, was probably what made her dry, as well as the fact that you approached sex with her from a place of desperately trying to give her an orgasm, which she could sense, rather than being the dominant guy who doesn’t care if she orgasms - she probably would have been turned on if you didn’t care if she was wet) and you play-acted at dominance, which she could see through.

My suggestion is to find a good hypnotherapist (yes, really) who can help you de-couple these memories from the emotions you have invested in them. This is the sort of thing that will wreck your self-esteem and turn you into a submissive somewhere down the road if you don’t take care of it.

grwyscxle · 2019-10-07T13:33:25+00:00

Read no more mr. Nice guy, he speaks about sex is all about you, dont focus on making her cum, focus on your pleasure.

rprookie · 2019-10-07T13:40:42+00:00

Beta shi

Nfuckedmeup · 2019-10-07T14:05:16+00:00

Bet she was fucked in the head, don't worry about it

wkndatbernardus · 2019-10-07T14:11:31+00:00

I don't know her or you but I would venture to guess the answer is found within your question itself. Ask yourself; why are you wondering about this in the first place? It's probably because you judge yourself based on how women react to you. That puts you in their frame and that's when dryness and orgasm problems start to occur.

If you measure yourself according to how people perceive you (especially women!), you will find you'll never quite meet the standard. Why? Because we're all idealists in a world that is sadly not.

TFWnoLTR · 2019-10-07T14:21:23+00:00

Theres a good chance she was on some medication or something that kept her from becoming aroused.

I'm probably reiterating a bunch of other responses here, but women are pretty damn varied in what they enjoy sexually. I've had girls who come in like 5 mins when I fuck them and others who don't come at all unless I spend 20 mins eating them out beforehand, and even then it might not happen. I've had some who would come several times in a 15 minute fuck and others who couldn't get wet even though they initiated and definitely wanted sex.

Don't take your bad experience with this one chick as a serious indicator of your ability to perform. There's most likely tons of women out there who would get off with you really easily, you just haven't found one yet.

ToraChan23 · 2019-10-07T15:19:31+00:00

Do you know how many game winning shots Michael Jordan missed during his career?

26.

Do you know how many game winning shots he was afraid of taking because of those?

0.

Shake that shit off and hold your head up. We don't always get it right, but that should never stop us from trying.

wawakaka · 2019-10-07T16:00:43+00:00

Dude your an ego maniac

Her Vaginal dryness has nothing to do with you and more to do with her hormones particularly low estrogen

She may like you but her getting wet is out of her control she doesn't have a faucet to turn it on or off

If she's super horny she's high testosterone that explains her sluttiness and also her low estrogen

Some birth control pills can cause this So can other conditions like insulin resistance

BurnieSlander · 2019-10-07T16:32:55+00:00

“Permanently damaged ego”

Quit being a drama queen. You’re fine.

thrwy75479 · 2019-10-07T18:22:41+00:00

I tried everything and i would ask her

I was even very dominant with her

You can't ask before dominating someone. You just fucking do it. She probably didn't feel dominated by you, and, for whatever other reasons, wasn't too attracted. It happens.

Maybe you resembled some beta she had in orbit; or, physically, you're not that much bigger than her; or you don't appear too threatening; or her vagina has been fucked to oblivion and it's super loose; or she has sexual hangups; or:

Okay so i met a girl that i really fell for

Perhaps she felt she had you from the beginning. This could be you, or it could be her feeling that she can do much better than you, given that she has a lot of experience. Maybe she was with you simply to curb feelings of loneliness.

how to get over it?

By accepting that you can't please everyone. That goes both in and out of bed, and with both women and men. It's one thing to perceive it as a challenge to make a particular girl cum, it's another to feel attacked and a lesser man simply because she's not cumming.

YouWannaPutMoneyOnIt · 2019-10-07T23:28:21+00:00

Dude who the fuck cares lol she sounds like a bitch, if she can get you hard and you can put it in then you’re already the fuckin bees knees lol period. All stimulation pretty much comes from vibrations to the clitoris so if you can rub some clit you good lol, otherwise the chicks just being a dick. Don’t let preference steal your joy bro go fuck some other bitches and have them give you a rusty trombone then leave them on read cause they nasty and you can’t tell your momma

Lmao

On the point of making her cum, some girls don’t allow themselves to, some aren’t comfortable enough to let go in the moment, just focus on head game. G spot game is good too, but just flick that clit, otherwise fuck her who cares lol

warthundersfw · 2019-10-07T14:36:05+00:00

No sure buddy. Never had that issue. I usually just go for it and then it happens. They HATE it because I don't even like to go down or foreplay or anything. But it always happens. I'm not even huge, just higher average. But apparently it hits the spot just right. It's darwin at work.

Title	Permanently damaged ego because i couldn't please a girl..
Author	franga10
Upvotes	26
Comments	33
Date	October 7, 2019 7:34 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/deg701/permanently_damaged_ego_because_i_couldnt_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/permanently-damaged-ego-because-i-couldnt-please-a.289161 https://theredarchive.com/post/289161

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