I was in bed with my wife (married 2 years, together ~7 before that) last night - and was pretty obviously escalating, and she was receptive. I told her to go put a dress on. She never wears dresses for any other reason - so she knows exactly what that means - and is normally in some ratty looking clothing that's not particularly attractive but she wears it for comfort around the house.

So she says "Say please."

I shake my head, and reaffirm myself "Go put on a dress."

"Not until you say please."

At this point, the mood is lost for me, and tell her no. She says, "Well, I guess we're at a stale mate, then."

So I roll over, go back to watching TV. She starts trying to snuggle up to me, so I tell her no. Naturally, she starts pouting and rolls over to her side. So I decide to get up, leave the room for about 20 minutes.

Come back, and she is throwing a tantrum giving me the silent treatment, so I go take a shower, get ready for bed, etc. By the time I'm done, she's further escalated her silent treatment tantrum by turning off the lights and turning on her noise generator which is the signal for going to bed.

Whatever - no big deal. I go to bed. Wake up the next morning - it's continued. Silent treatment. She doesn't even return my kiss when I leave for work.

My satisfaction with our sex life has ranged from a 1 at the worst, to maybe a 5/10 at its peak, so one of my primary motivations is to make this better. She's fairly submissive most of the time, but she has some very pronounced ASD still and is EXTREMELY conservative sexually, after being together for almost a decade, that's absolutely infuriating.

I feel like to this point I've handled this properly - I assume the right course of action is to just stay the course? Probably after stewing on it all day she'll bring it up when we get home from work - and I'm deciding on how to further prepare myself. She's not someone who responds by getting explosively angry - but instead, gets quiet and emotional, so that's what I'm expecting.

Did I handle this correctly? And are there other things I should be prepared to do going forward?