Soft Next'd an LTR, Whats Next?

FuckboyAWALT · 2019-07-30T05:01:10+00:00

Soft next for at least a minimum of 5 days.

Radiosilence. Don’t see her. Don’t answer her. She’s dead to you for 5 days.

Any contact will diminish the effects of a soft next and she won’t be able to connect the behavior and consequences.

Remember she consciously canceled the trip. A girl that would value you and your time would never cancel any plans you made.

If she’s still there after the soft next, it’s time to up the dread.

visualtech48 · 2019-07-30T05:02:20+00:00

Showing up at her place is rewarding her shitty behaviour, why would you do that?

Tell her to enjoy her time with the family and go alone on the trip and have fun or even bring someone with you.

Then come back like nothing happened.

Woman who is interested in you will move mountains for you

wheresMYsteakAt · 2019-07-30T11:15:20+00:00

You spelled x-LDR wrong

uptimex · 2019-07-30T12:40:32+00:00

Any next is meaningful when you don't initiate contact. Soft next is, you just occupy you mind with somethinfmg else and don't think about her until she let's you know. You must be ready for breakup in case of LTR, any next can be a potential breakup. So she can come back with "You don't carw about me, you forgot about me a week.". This is good, it means she cares about you. You say something like "No I didn't forget you, just thought you were busy. Everything is fine?". And continue conversation in a friendly manner. You don't accuse her with anything, remember if you show you accuse her, all the meaning of next will be failed. If she continues this "You don't care about me..." just soft next her again, saying "Hmm.. okay" and leave thr conversation. She needs to understand that every misbehaviour increases your disinterest.

andyturbo2000 · 2019-07-30T10:53:42+00:00

6 months since you’ve known each other or decided after an 18 month vetting process to stop spinning plates making that a two-year process?

Depending in the answer, possibly work on your vetting game going forward.

deathhandmachiavelli · 2019-07-30T13:35:36+00:00

Some really great comments here.

I had a friend who invited his LTR to China with him. She refused because she got a new job (a minimum wage job at a department store). Before his China trip, he was already thinking about marrying the girl.

He ended up going alone. When he came back, guess what, he broke up with her ass.

When a girl blows me off like this, I talk to NEW girls. Don't be a fool and hope to regain the LTR status.

Don't show up tomorrow and act like nothing happened. Don't waste your money and time on plane trips to see this girl.

I can tell by your post that you are hoping for a way to salvage the relationship with her somehow. You are wondering how to act so that she likes you again. You are wondering if you can go and hang out with her tomorrow like nothing happened.

Hey, I get it, its only natural, you have been in a relationship with her for 6 months and have lots of memories, as well as hopes (that have been crushed at this point).

What I would do if I were you, I'd ignore her for another day or so, and when I talk to her, talk to her like nothing happened and that I'm not bothered.

But I wouldn't show up to see her. I would just avoid HER and make excuses and pretend like nothing is wrong.

I would do this while I meet other girls on the side. I would eventually "branch swing" and break up with her by ghosting and just not replying to her anymore. Its a fun process to see.

Your hope for a good LTR with her is over. Its happened to us all. Realize it is part of the game, and move on.

max_peenor · 2019-07-30T16:13:19+00:00

Last night she made an insubstantial excuse to cancel a trip we had been planning for months. Flight tickets booked and everything. Said she felt guilty not spending enough time with her fam.

What young female does that? She is lying about something.

[deleted] · 2019-07-30T18:20:52+00:00

Sounds like you're in a long distance relationship.

These do not work and are the absolute definition of scarcity mentality. Why tie yourself to a woman you can't even ball on the regular?

Personally I'd demote her to plate and focus on myself/other options. Managing a long distance relationship is extremely difficult and requires rock solid frame/very high smv and very few guys are up to that challenge.

SeasonedRP · 2019-07-30T21:50:45+00:00

She's been away for a couple weeks and during that time decided to cancel the trip? Not a good sign. Sounds like she met someone. Don't go see her. Get a credit for the flight you have booked. Let her come see you.

fredo_o · 2019-07-30T07:41:31+00:00

I wouldn’t even go back

Why?

IceBear---69 · 2019-07-30T13:03:33+00:00

I'd say HARD NEXT. Make it appear as a Soft Next, but really treat it as a hard next. Even when past LTRs were being shitty....this is something they would NEVER even consider doing. Doesn't matter if you have plans to feed the ducks a the park or go on a massive getaway, she should always be in FUCK YEAH mode with you.

Truegangstalking · 2019-07-30T09:45:59+00:00

I really wish all LTR will cheat on you.

Title	Soft Next'd an LTR, Whats Next?
Author	Whiteberry
Upvotes	25
Comments	42
Date	July 30, 2019 3:56 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cjmbd9/soft_nextd_an_ltr_whats_next/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/soft-nextd-an-ltr-whats-next.247408 https://theredarchive.com/post/247408

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