What’s so wrong with being introverted?

jinbe12 · 2018-12-13T04:32:02+00:00

I wouldn't say being introverted is the issue, it's the traits that follow with it.

Lack of confidence, frame. If you're confident and have a decent frame do whatever you want, it mainly stems down to those 2 points.

Being the mysterious guy that keeps to himself can work, I agree with you. Fuck Being extroverted, some over the top spastic look at me type of guy lool.

All of this is my opinion.

Terdmuffin · 2018-12-13T04:30:45+00:00

Nothing is wrong with being introverted. The bad part is when you get older and wiser and wish you had friends but you have no one close because you neglected or actively avoided everyone close to you.

donkeydodo · 2018-12-13T08:40:54+00:00

OP, I’m introverted, or rather ambivert (intro-/extrovert mix) with a 60/40 - 70/30 and I’d argue that neither extroversion or introversion is better, although I personally prefer introversion.
As someone above mentioned, there are generally some negative traits that comes with being introverted; same with being extroverted, though they have a different set of negative traits. For both types, it is true that if one can overcome his negative traits: one will be considered alpha and it doesn’t matter what traits you have if you can overcome the negative ones.
I’d argue that most introverts are overthinkers - at least I am, and something I benefited a lot of was understanding and applying stoicism down to my core. Short summarized, stoicism more or less teach you how to be cold, to hold frame. As an introvert, you overthink every situation, and try to logically anticipate every outcome at the instant you experience something. This can act as a superpower if used corrected, but I’ll get back to that later.
What you first want to learn is how to be cool in the situation you are in - and that applies literally everywhere. You said you dislike parties, there isn’t something wrong with that per se, but you want and need to learn how to be at a party without feeling miserable or that you want to leave, because if you can not, you cannot fully apply stoicism. Try to think a bit about why you dislike parties. If there is something you fear, feel awkward about etc, then write it down. Write down everything that you can come up with, and start processing it. Why are you anxious about X situation? This is called a fear inventory, and this will help you processing things that you get negative feelings from. You can actually do this every night for anything you’re scared of, by doing so you’ll learn how to cope with it better.

Something which I know TRP doesn’t support in it’s philosophy is drug usage. Now, I don’t mean that you should become a junkie, but I’m going to teach you a bit of MDMA; this is objective truth, nothing else.

MDMA removes mental barriers, what it fundamentally does for you in social situations is that it gives you enough courage to state and do whatever is on your mind; what that means is that it’s a temporary cure for social anxiety, and if you’re wise enough you can bring some of the mindset that you attain on MDMA with you out from the trip. Your feelings will also be enhanced; if you don’t have a bad trip, you’ll most likely feel love, euphoria and ecstasy. This means that almost every person that you meet, you’ll assume the best of and you’ll most likely be as polite as ever to each person you talk to. If you’ve read enough TRP, but have the problem stated above, this might be a solution for your problems. DM me if you want a bit deeper explanation on this.

If you’re not anxious about social situations, then you’re past one problem an introvert can experience. Another problem an introvert can have is too much pride; one’s pride can certainly be one’s fall. What I mean by being too proud is bad, is that you as an introvert can certainly become arrogant (anyone can become arrogant of pride),whereas an extrovert becomes negatively dominant, an introvert conceive everyone as retarded, as imbeciles. If this is the case with the parties; that you dislike being on parties because you consider people stupid, then you can’t fully apply stoicism either; if you can’t handle stupid people, you aren’t grounded. To fix this problem, you’ll have to learn to be interested in people and don’t stample them as stupid. Most people can think, the problem is the communication; they lack the the linguistics, meaning most people aren’t as stupid as they first appear. What you’ll have to do, is to learn to ask people questions about what they say. They need to elaborate what they mean; if you object to something they say, no matter if they’re factual wrong or just don’t agree, you can present your view of the thing, and if presented well enough you might learn them something new or make them change view. By doing this, you’ll either way get stimulation out of a conversation, thus making parties funnier to attend to. Summarized, what you’ll have to do is start challenging people, but don’t do it too cocky because that’ll get you disliked instead. You’ve got to have a silver tongue

Both statements above will most likely if learned help you in your life, party or work alike. Sounds to me like parties might be good for you to go to, because that’s challenging for you. Look up Jordan Peterson’s talks about slaying the dragon, because that is exactly what this is about. You don’t have to be the center of attention on a party, if you want to get laid you’ll have to become the center of attention in girl’s eyes, which is very much attainable without being the lion in the house.

Whisper · 2018-12-13T06:14:55+00:00

Absolutely nothing is wrong with it. We're teach masculinity and seduction skills here, not how to be a fucking stage magician or car salesman.

Just avoid loud, crowded environments, game girls one on one, and ditch your feelings of inferiority.

Velebit · 2018-12-13T05:04:13+00:00

Being introverted means you do not get happy chemicals in your brain from socialization and much as other people. Simply, your innate desire to socialize and the biochemical responses to it are lower.

This is bad because unlike in natural, tribal environments humans have not evolved for privacy, nuclear family, pickup artistry, age cluster restricted forced education etc etc.

Introversion was benefitial in the past when not waving to strangers and going near to touch their face meant you are safe from diseases (think about all natives dieing from European diseases and likewise Europeans in Africa).

Introversion also leads people to be able to focus on doing very intensive solo work. Think sewing, sharpening a sword, making pottery, carving runes etc.

People in natural tribal rural situations also by default get born into huge multigenerational families. You do not need any skills in finding friends, partners, networking or jobhunting... those are all given to you by default and unless one of your cousins or aunts already became a kissin cousin (check stats on cousin marriage in middle east in 2018) the elders will find you someone compatible and that will not be too hard since you all share very similar dna and traits and come from identical culture the darwinian way knowledge through generations transforms in tradition (all nontraditional societies just fail, so at every time, most societies are traditional, because tradition is just what works for most peope).

Anyway... evolutionary reasons for introversion are gone.

Being introverted today statistically correlates with less sex, less money, less overall life satisfaction and much less children.

I also consider myself an introvert btw.

Kurush559 · 2018-12-13T09:52:00+00:00

Bro, being introverted is fine, if you have confidence and frame. But you don't, so work on it

Angelrun · 2018-12-13T12:21:39+00:00

I’m introverted and it has its perks. But it’s hell of a lot more hard for you to put yourself out there.

CaptainBW · 2018-12-13T05:58:48+00:00

You have to truly know both sides before having a real preference for one or the other, you know? Besides that, there’s nothing “wrong” with it. What’s “wrong” is your frame bending like chewing gum. Stop giving a fuck like that. You ask these sort of questions because you’re trying to get a gauge; you care. It’s entirely natural. But one day you’ll get to a point where, having practiced being extroverted, you’ll realize “Damn, people are awesome, but why did I let their unseen influence dictate my beliefs and actions before?” And then you’ll never think the words “introverted” and “extroverted” ever again because you’re too busy enjoying life however it so happens to be.

[deleted] · 2018-12-13T06:13:31+00:00

I feel like the way you associate with that word probably is the problem itself. You make it sound like you’ve got a disease.

faustian_talos · 2018-12-13T11:55:04+00:00

Nothing is wrong.

But if you like in USA it is an extroverted culture.

Giga_Caligula · 2018-12-13T04:43:28+00:00

being uncomfortable means you are alive. you should be happy when your uncomfortable for things that can possibly improve your life. cuz when you pass things up you will regret it.

seedster5 · 2018-12-13T05:43:31+00:00

You won't spend money. That's bad for society. That's why they tell you it's wrong to be introverted

ChemicalGiraffe · 2018-12-13T07:10:44+00:00

Nothing

TheStumblingWolf · 2018-12-13T07:45:03+00:00

Humans are social creatures. Being introverted limits the possibilities you will be exposed to. Meeting people is meeting opportunity. I used to say I was introverted, and I still am to some extent, but I worked on my social skills and now being social isn't as taxing.

Also I would advise you to consider if labeling yourself as an introvert is a crutch or a springboard.

GetMeLaidAlot · 2018-12-13T09:41:38+00:00

Introversion vs Extroversion is pretty complex considering it's one of the big 5 personality traits. A good balance between the two is what I think could work best with TRP. One of the top traits of extraverts is their assertiveness which, as TRP preaches, can be a reflection of your frame but at the same time a characteristic that is attributed to introverts is aloofness and a possible better than attitude. So, like everything else in life. BALANCE.

Zech4riah · 2018-12-13T11:04:36+00:00

Being introvert or extrovert doesn't have necessarily anything to do with wanting or not wanting to be in center of attention. This is a common misunderstanding. Now, wanna refrase your question?

I'm introvert but I enjoy being social and sometimes center of attention (altho I never reach for it. Attention just comes to me when I'm socializing and having fun).

But if I answer to your question, there is nothing wrong being introverted and introvert can find it fun to socialize and interact with people (as long as he/she has time to recharge in peace once awhile).

Tripletag · 2018-12-13T11:05:54+00:00

I don't think there's anything wrong with being introverted, as long as its because being so is congruent with who you are. I feel many introverts use it as an excuse to justify their feeling helpless when it comes to social interaction and a deeply rooted feeling of worthlessness that makes them afraid of showing themselves to the world. Put bluntly, it is my belief that many introverts are simply extraverts who let life beat them into submission and cowardice.

This is not intended as an accusation or attack on OP and introverts in general. I just feel like here at TRP there is very little attention for emotional well-being which, to me at least, is just as essential as lifting and sexual strategy to help us grow in this community.

aanarchist · 2018-12-13T12:01:24+00:00

It means what you see isn't what you get. People tend to prefer to judge you based on first impression only in fact a lot of people have been swindled by so called friends because all it took was a good first impression and then the moment comfort is established they become the piece of shit they usually are and they know they'll let them get away with it because that's how their attachment style works. With someone who has something going on beneath the surface to recognize that would be to open up an entire world that they've been ignoring all this time. They'd recognize a lot of their current relationships as shallow and empty and possibly parasitic or codependent, as well as their own responsibility in these people making their way into their lives, as well as how they would snub otherwise good people for not putting emphasis in being likeable but rather just living life on their terms, and not running their mouth all the time etc being part of that package. Most people are shallow and stupid but like to think of themselves as deep and intelligent, and introversion/introspection exposes people for who they really are. It's why most extroverts tend to be extremely insecure and codependent like they will have a fit of depression being left to their own devices.

kick6 · 2018-12-13T13:29:22+00:00

Every kind of growth is uncomfortable. If you read the sidebar, and actually lifted you’d understand that.

Ohboohoolittlegirl · 2018-12-13T15:36:36+00:00

You don't have to do it. if you are fine being who you are and not getting laid, there is no problem.

Divine_Instrument · 2018-12-13T17:26:31+00:00

It’s not that there’s an issue with being an introvert. It’s that introverts have a tendency to use that as an excuse not to do something. I’m a natural introvert. I don’t get energized by often being in social situations. I also don’t get energized by going to work or brushing my teeth but I do both of those anyway.

Needimprovenentguy · 2018-12-13T17:55:32+00:00

If a guy is really shy then it can make him less resourceful if he can’t communicate properly.

I am shy and I am limited in what I can achieve in my career and in the friendships I make. But most guys aren’t as shy as me so maybe you don’t need to worry.

iamthespectator · 2018-12-13T20:32:10+00:00

As an introvert, I think the best thing you can do is improve on your ability to socialize. You'll never be as good as an extrovert and you'll need more time alone, but it is very beneficial to all aspects of your life to be sicuak. I've accepted that I'll never have the social savvy of my outgoing friends, but at the same time I'm happy I'm at a point where I'm comfortable going out and meeting new people.

BrutalMan420 · 2018-12-13T06:03:19+00:00

who tf upvoted this stupid ass question

Olram_Sacul · 2018-12-13T13:14:40+00:00

Well, as an introverted guy myself, who has changed a lot for the past few years, I could tell you a lot about this issue, but to stick to your question, you do it because you should. Man, we all need to do things that put us in uncomfortable positions, but it is what it is, you just go out of your comfort zone and do it, just for the sake of it, so next time you feel less uncomfortable. If you say that it dramatically decreases your chances of getting laid, you've got to options here: changing yourself or keep complaining for the rest of your life

Title	What’s so wrong with being introverted?
Author	345674
Upvotes	35
Comments	88
Date	December 13, 2018 4:28 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a5q4jq/whats_so_wrong_with_being_introverted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/whats-so-wrong-with-being-introverted.70514 https://theredarchive.com/post/70514

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