A borderline suicidal incel's sad rant

dailymanup · 2019-02-23T05:16:58+00:00

Hey man. You're only invisible to women because you're invisible TO YOURSELF. You have laid out so many positive things in this post, yet you fail to see any of them as positive with your own eyes. A woman is incapable of being attracted to a man who doesn't value himself. The ironic thing is that you have value. I can see it in your writing. I can literally hear it in your words. The only thing missing is your recognition. Your recognition of yourself. That you have value and are able to contribute to the world, even if that means simply contributing to yourself and your family.

I understand that lack of relationship and lack of sex with a woman for an extended period of time can make a person feel hopeless. But I also know FOR A FACT, that turning that cycle around can occur quickly. Imagine if tomorrow a woman, just one women, smiled at you and agreed to a date. How would you feel then?

You are 100% capable of finding that 1 woman. You could find her tomorrow. But you need to let go of one thing. And that one thing is OUTCOME.

Most of our world suffers in personal misery because they crave a particular outcome. And what they crave can vary. But the common element is that they crave something.

Do yourself a favor. Crave nothing. Just for one day. Try it, just for one day. At a minimum, give yourself that chance. Wake up tomorrow and let go of outcome for just one day. If you like it, try a second day.

This sounds like a conceptually simple concept. But it could be the exact answer you've been looking for.

Start with this video for learning to crave nothing.

daxtermagnum · 2019-02-23T11:10:36+00:00

Be open and honest with yourself. I want you to reflect deeply on yourself.....

There is a reason you prefaced your point with a huge wall of text about all the great things you are doing. I believe you did that for 2 reasons:

1) You want others here to affirm your biased conclusion about the situation so you've made sure to carefully craft a narrative that casts you in the most positive light. You aren't here asking for help, you are here asking for confirmation of your beliefs, you just want to know that you're right and we can only judge you by what you are willing to tell us......and you're fixing the outcome by skewing the information you are providing.

2) you subconsciously know there are things about yourself that you need to work on and you don't want to admit it because then you would have to do something about it.

If you really and truley want to change this situation you should do the following:

Re-write this post - not here though, write it out on paper so nobody else has to see it because you won't be honest if there's other people who can see it and comment on it - you've already made that clear. This time when you write it all up, instead of hyping up all the things you like about yourself (meditating, going to the gym, etc) I want you to instead write down all of the traits about yourself that are undesirable to other people, because you know damn well what they are, the key is being honest with yourself about it and admitting those things to yourself. And that's not easy to do btw, it should be, but you are human and for some reason a lot of us prefer to ignore and deny the parts of ourselves that we don't like. So because it isn't easy it might help to imagine you are dating yourself and then carry out this exercise identifying everything you would dislike about the person you are dating (you).

I don't mean to come off as judgemental, but what you need more than anything from us is honesty - and I gotta be honest your post reeks of entitlement and that trait is one of the biggest turn-offs for women. The universe does not owe you any pussy, you're going to have to earn it by putting in the work.

Going to the gym and being hygenic are excellent traits that make you more desirable, but they are only skin deep so that is only a good start. We all know assholes that are fit and smell good, so that just isn't enough and you know it.

Hyperf0cus · 2019-02-23T14:53:25+00:00

Just one thing: DGAF.

I am depressed as well as I went through many hardships in my childhood. I was beaten physically and verbally. Sugar bread and whip for years.

My parents are of turkish descent and I always felt foreign and different. I was agressive (and often times I still am), smashed things, punched and broke glass with my bare fist, yet I never beat any human being.

4 years ago I punched so hard against a wall during during a soccer match I participated in and broke my right hand, dislocated several bones.

Two very complicated surgeries were needed to get everything fixed. It took more than one year for me to get back the function of my hand and still it is not 100% like before. I cried a lot during that period of time. It also happened during my first ever relationship (lasted 5 years, I was virgin until 22.) I did not want to live anymore under those conditions.

I have a lot of hate in me without any reason. Little things annoy me very fast. I was diagnosed ADHD a few years ago and I also believe I have some kind of borderline disorder.

I go to the gym daily and eat healthy most of the time. I have earned a respectable body over time. Still, almost everything I do, especially around other people, is accompanied with doubt. It is hard for me to live with my brain always having that aura of doubt with everything I do.

I am now 30 years old and slowly start to not give a fuck about what people think or if when people stare at me. It is such a good feeling to DGAF. I need to remember myself almost every minute of DGAF to be able to truly not give a fuck. Still, my brain gives a lot of fucks, but it is getting better every day.

Please, don't give up. As I am improving every day - you can, too.

MrDownhillRacer · 2019-02-23T15:56:20+00:00

Man, that's where I am.

Every single platonic friend you have gushes about how "great" you are, how you're the best dresser they know, how funny you are, how well-rounded and interesting you are, You never really believe them, because you're a harsh critic of yourself, but the logical part of your brain tells you that there must be sincerity in their words, because for whatever reason, they spend time in your presence of their own volition instead of ditching you.

And then you resent all this positive feedback you get from friends, because it seems to matter nadda-zip at all in your dating life. You do what you're supposed to. You cold approach. You try to be friendly and chat with everyone. You'd rather be rejected than wonder, "what if I talked to her?"

And you're still a grown-ass adult who has never had a gf, barely had sex, and the longer it goes on, the more it feels like this cycle of no experience = no results = no experience.

I wish I had an answer for you. I'm really starting to think that some men "just have it," and some men don't. The only reason I continue to try is that, at least if I finally just give up and off myself, nobody can dare say that I gave up too easily and didn't try. I can know that I did everything in my power and it just wasn't working, and was justified in thinking that I'm just not worthy of affection.

I just hate the idea of, after I die, people having this idea that I was some coward who folded because the world just didn't dump things into his lap with no effort on his part. I want people to say, "damn, I guess shit really was tough for him," and maybe re-evaluate their "just-world" intuitions.

ValleyKilmers · 2019-02-23T04:50:06+00:00

Man, I’m sorry you are having to deal with these feelings. It sounds like you are on a good path to self improvement but keep going. Keep trying to eat healthier, exercise, meditate. Your finances aren’t that bad, you’ll be able to out from that fairly easily if you discipline yourself. Hang in there, sometimes you might have to take it one hour at a time or one minute at a time. Get yourself into a flow state with your music, even if it’s difficult with all these other things bogging down your mental.

I too have been dealing with a lot of negative feelings in my life for a long time. Some of us just have to put in a little bit more work than others just to feel “normal”. You might need more socializing, that is very important

minoritydatingcom · 2019-02-23T06:34:47+00:00

Hey bro. I 100% relate to your concern. I was a virgin until 26 and went through that excruciating pain to get good with girls. Any advice I can give without knowing your exact circumstance would be pretty useless. Reach out to me in DM if you want.

Funkimonkey · 2019-02-23T14:48:04+00:00

It's mental man. First step - stop calling yourself an "incel" - that's an instant turnoff for every woman. Second, be more positive. Don't use usernames like "whatsthepoint". People (not just women) don't like complainers.

You have put in the effort to improve yourself in so many places - except one. Your mind. It's the ONLY thing still keeping you from success.

BishopDayGame · 2019-02-23T20:54:15+00:00

Deep Breaths. Good news is you are on the cusp of a breakthrough.

Keep up the investment in yourself.

Also, have you found a solid inner game product? I was at a similar point of frustration years ago. What finally kicked everything into place was finding a good inner game product.

Also, what are you doing for approaches? Any daygame? Club/bar game? What model for your game are you using (Mystery? Lovesystems? London model?)

XDarkstarX1138 · 2019-02-23T21:21:42+00:00

Stop reading incel garbage and falling into their cesspool.

PeperoParty · 2019-02-24T00:19:19+00:00

There’s a lot of good shit in the comments here that resonated within myself. I hope it did to you too.

I have the more or less the same problem

Don’t give up.

Kenic_In_MD · 2019-02-23T04:46:52+00:00

There are a few things to absorb from your post but I will start on what I think i'm seeing from the get go. The first is, you seem to be doing all this "inner game" stuff for everyone but yourself. Especially girls, the whole point on working yourself is to focus that energy that you are exuding to girls back inwardly. This is truly a selfish quest all for the sake of you having the life YOU want. Not the life that you think will get girls.

The second thing is, as you have said you are thinking about girls/sex/whatever all the damn time. There is nothing wrong with a little break and I think you need one for sure.

Lastly, if you truly believe that you are depressed get some help for it, no shame in that. It's also part of self betterment. Sometimes its best to just have a few personal days and vent a bit. Non-destructively of course but it can be cathartic.

i just want to work on my finances and my music

Nothing stopping you from doing that, do what makes you happy right now. Stop concerning yourself with the opposite sex for a little bit. I do it all the time everyone needs a recharge. If it takes weeks/months/years so be it.

because i'm invisible to women

Absolutely not true, women see you all the time! What do they see when they look at you is a better question.

chris14ro · 2019-02-23T04:52:17+00:00

If you're actively improving your life, you will attract girls. One thing I think would be beneficial to know is that girls interest levels are wayyy more tied into emotions than guys. Girls like guys who cause then to feel emotions. Simply cold approaching doesn't give you enough time to build rapport. Many of these girls will instinctively put up a wall when randomly approached. I've personally given up on cold approaching. I've met a good number of girls either in my classes or friends of friends, or even while going out. This relieves some of that pressure as it wouldn't be seem odd to talk to these girls. This allows you to build up rapport making girls much more receptive. Also, suicide is never the answer. Regardless of your religious beliefs, you should always treat this life as the only one you get. The only thing killing yourself would accomplish is causing enormous pain to your loved ones. The only thing suicide will do for you is ensure that you never have the opportunity to be happy. If you need someone to talk to about this, feel free to send me a pm

omegaphallic · 2019-02-23T18:11:34+00:00

For the love of all that is holy just fuck a hooker. I know many PUAs will be like nooooo, but once you do this a few times, you will stop stinking of deseperation because you will know you can get your dick wet when ever you want, so you don't need the chick your flirting with to get laid.

Once you realize you can empower yourself sexually without pick up, pick up because a fun adventure, not a need, and so there is less pressure to suceed, that lessening of pressure with manifest in your bahavior. The only risk is that is that you might end up wondering if pick up worth all the work, risks, and aggravation that comes with pick up.

RedPillMissionary · 2019-02-23T19:13:20+00:00

The world needs you. You may not need it, or any of the stuff our messed up culture wants you to believe, but we need you. You seem like an intelligent person. The greatest humans who ever walked the earth were not seducers, they were intellectuals. Find your true calling in life and show yourself what your true potential is.

Sex with a stranger who doesnt respect or care about you is terrible. Comraderie, intellectual and emotional connection, and having true friends who are there for you is far more fulfilling.

Noahstev · 2019-02-23T20:28:48+00:00

I can tell pretty much from your last words why women probably reject you. You are attached to much and it's pretty obvious that some bitterness comes through your words. I relate to you, but that's not the mindset to get laid. Women, people in general, don't care soo much if you go to the gym or read books. No one comes to you and after knowing this will start to throw themselves at you. Women are emotional and you have to hook them emotionally. Humans (especially women) want to have fun, not logical consoderations.

Work on your mindset. You either become better or bitter with women. There is nothing between, just these two possibilities.

even labelling yourself an suicidal and borderline incel says a lot about your mindset, not you as a person. forget this thing about a objectiv personality. there is only an entity, a label, of you based on your behaviour, thinking patterns and physical attributes. you can change everything (almost). And never forget that your mindset is reflected by your behaviour, facial expressions and spoken words.

Abacadabalol · 2019-02-23T22:06:18+00:00

Okay brother, by reading your post I think I know your main issue... even if you say you're doing that stuff for yourself and improvement, I think you're still subconsciously seeking outside validation. Which in turn causes you to lose the ability to feel happy about yourself and your achievements.

You need to be proud of the accomplishments you've made so far. Take some time, every day to just try and pay attention to things you deserve to feel good about. Woke up on time and didn't hit the snooze button? Didn't cheat on your meal plan for the whole day? Worked your ass off in the gym and hit a PR? All things to feel good about, no matter how big or small.

And on top of that you need to change your mindset. If these women are really that flaky and shitty, are you really even losing out when they reject you? They're failing your standards not the other way around.

subheight640 · 2019-02-24T02:09:58+00:00

As other people have said your biggest problem is your inability to handle rejection.

Just like anything else in the world this is something you can improve. Go out to the world and start getting rejected. Ask for things, get rejected, thank the person for the rejection, and move on.

That's the best way to conquer your fear. Expose yourself to your fears and learn to cope with it.

Moreover I advise you to get back into online dating. Something around of 80% of modern couples found their partner online. Don't close off good avenues.

Also the best thing I did to improve online dating was to get my female friends to write and improve my dating profile.

Finally at 5 7 and 130 lbs you're very skinny. I advise you to start bulking up a bit. It will never hurt your chances to look a bit stronger.

Buullred · 2019-02-23T07:43:07+00:00

It's because you're failing the basic task of working on your problem. You'll never learn 2 + 2 in math if you're only practicing English. In general women don't give a shit about what you eat, do with your free time etc. They want you to make them feel good and that's it. If you fail at escalating like it seems you're describing under here then work on that. KINO, eye contact, talk to them like you want to fuck them and so on.

LionVenom10 · 2019-02-23T04:48:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

delta-Rho · 2019-02-23T20:32:32+00:00

I think your suffering from the ‘first anomaly’ syndrome. When something is your first time you tend to over-amplify the need for it in your life, this results in subconscious desperation that people can tend to perceive. It all happens probably when you’re trying to take a girl home and all of sudden there this slightest change in your tonality that tells her you’re desperate for sex. Remember your first kiss for me, I had my first kiss really late on my teenager years compared to everyone else I was 15 or 16 and I wanted it so bad that the girl could sort of sense this and was put off. eventually I kissed her but after that I thought kissing isn’t bad but it’s not amazing and all of sudden I was having causal makeouts left right and centre because I didn’t care.

My advice

Have sex with anyone looks aren’t important
Stop trying to take girls back to your place
Be the first person to disengage in every conversation be indifferent.

Jackway74 · 2019-02-23T11:07:16+00:00

Maybe you should stop giving a shit, your coming off as alittle suicidal bitch because you can't seal the deal no disrespect.

You said in the past you got hookups and it led to first base but how did you not take advantage something is off and it might not be the women bro

__Kevin__ · 2019-02-23T14:29:28+00:00

Lift, bro. Attractiveness is linearly correlated with visible upper body strength fitness cues. Bench press + deadlift + squats + protein = muscles and girls. That’s the missing piece, homie. You need to get on that shit.

You can do it.

Lift.

Title	A borderline suicidal incel's sad rant
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	35
Comments	44
Date	February 23, 2019 4:07 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/atr5ai/a_borderline_suicidal_incels_sad_rant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-borderline-suicidal-incels-sad-rant.1463012 https://theredarchive.com/post/1463012

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