Low level fundamentals, there's a lot of "draw the rest of the fucking owl" in this sub so I want to talk on some basics I'm working on.

If you are like me, you like to leave no questions when you describe things or explain yourselves. Maybe you come from a technical background where missing details can crash a job, maybe you're an info-dumper, maybe you don't trust that people actually get what you're saying.

This is terrible for romantic banter.

I would like to offer a re-frame for how to communicate with people you're trying to fuck.

In doing a lot of homework recently on things like building tension, increasing buying temperature, frame "battles"/frame interface, stoking emotional reactions over logical reactions, etc... I'm finding very much that less is more in verbal communication.

You have to accept a truth that there will be miscommunication. It will be there no matter how hard you try. Skilled players actually seem to thrive off of understanding this concept and use the flow of it to manipulate, obfuscate and leave room to get out of tricky situations. Logical people seek to eliminate it.

Since you're taking turns and not giving a lecture, it's unfair to hold the floor giving prefaces and side notes for every point you make. Think about communicating with fewer clauses at once and understand that there's a risk that when you end your turn the conversation could move on and you may have only made a part of your point or the last thing you said could be embarrassing or misconstrued.

Another truth is that people for any particular reason might not be interested in what you have to say. Attempting to crack into a topic or story and getting stopped at the door is a risk you have to take and a reality you have to accept. In this, you also have to be at peace with potentially being misunderstood.

There are times when people want to hear you go off and flex your knowledge muscles. It's up to you to figure out when that is.

Since this sub lacks examples terribly, I'll offer one up. Bad turn-taking and bad story telling looks like this:

"So I went to the grocery store yesterday around 7 o clock after work. I was going there to buy some steak to cook for dinner, T-bone of course, and get some zip locs. Everything was going fine, I saw Chris there by the way, and I was checking out and walking to my car. Out of nowhere this guy is pulling out of his spot and brushes my leg with his fender! Now, don't worry, cuz I'm okay. It was just a little bump and didn't even leave a bruise. There wasn't even a mark on his car, either. So I yell to the guy because I wasn't sure if he knew he hit me but I didn't want to yell too loud because I didn't want to fight the guy in the parking lot.... that's a sketchy part of town. So he gets out and he's real cool about it. We get talking for a minute and the guys ends up knowing my aunt. He was about to smoke a blunt and he ends up just handing me one as an apology. So I went home and smoked it."

There's a second person in that conversation, somewhere. There are a lot of cool factoids in there but it's a fire-hose of information that nobody necessarily asked for. It's WORK to process all that info, especially if they're not invested.

So a better interaction would be:

You: "I got hit by a car last night."

Them: (any number of questions) "Where?", "What happened?", "Are you okay?"

You: "At the grocery store, this guy was pulling out and hit my leg."

Them: "That's crazy.", "What did you do?", etc

You: "He hit me and I was like, 'YO!' and we looked at each other."

Them: "What'd he say?", "What happened next?" (Big moment of tension here between you and the driver)

You: "Well I didn't know what to expect, but he gets out of the car... (pause because you get it) and by the end of it ends up giving me a blunt."

Them: "wowcrazyomgwildetc"

You: "It turns out he was pretty cool and knew someone in my family."

So I'm working on this, you can too. You already know what happened to you earlier in the day, try to break it up into "turns" that you can take which give them a chance to wonder BUT ALSO give them a chance to express that they are or aren't interested in hearing any more.

People, in their excitement, will want to interject a story that happened to them which is relevant to the one you're saying because you've successfully stoked emotions in them with a shared experience. They may interrupt you; be ready to handle this.

That's all I got.