Advice for starting out with zero experience 26 M

Romantic_Adventurer · 2022-08-03T23:42:39+00:00

Hey, great question! I'll give you my personal experience. It was after doing exactly this that I began to go on some crazy adventures, which eventually led me to finding my soul mate!

1) Get a 200 page notebook. Write down exactly what you want in your life in the following categories:

Health&Fitness, Spiritual life, Romantic life, Friends & family, Financial resources, Career and Lifestyle (things, places, events, etc)
Also, write down what you want to have in your life in 5 years (assuming everything went perfectly)

2) Write down what would be the perfect 1 night stand, 1 week fling and partner for a lifetime.

You need to have this written down in details, trust me

3) OPEN A BILLION SETS, just keep talking to people, keep meeting new people every day

4) Before everything else, take care of your physical and mental health. I mean it! you always come first (not literally).

Stay grateful, Romantic_Adventurer.

No_Country7045 · 2022-08-03T23:36:42+00:00

Read 'the game' by Neil strauss. Very useful.

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-08-04T17:22:41+00:00

There are many little fundamental skills you should drill yourself on. You can create missions for this. But, to keep things simple, try these for starters:

Always have a smile on your face and be in a good mood after an approach. Never be caught in self judgment after you walk away from an approach. This is a fake it until you make it concept, but it’s crucial. The game has to be fun if you plan to stick with it. Replace any thoughts of self judgment with positive ones if this is a sticking point.
Make it a game to remove your ego around approaching. We are all worried that we will say the wrong thing, or run out of things to say, or embarrass ourselves, or insult the girl, we don’t want to show our true intentions, etc… you want to crush this. Little by little with each approach, you realize it isn’t a big deal to say whatever is on your mind. It doesn’t have to be a great topic or safe or whatever. You can say whatever is on your mind. But, it’s natural to filter yourself. You can filter yourself to the point that you can’t even approach.

That’s the ego trying to protect you. This is an inner game concept, but it’s critical. As you approach, slowly convince yourself that no matter what you say or do, there is no downside. It all makes you better, it’s all learning. Some guys make the approach awkward on purpose just to practice this.

You have to take risks to do this. So little by little, take small social risks. Whatever you can say or do that stretches yourself. Again, you realize over time it’s not a big deal. Once your ego is gone you can talk and talk, free flow without filter. Work on this. It sounds like your sticking point.

Focus on the process not the outcome. Learn to enjoy approaching women, regardless of the outcome. It’s when guys get reactive to negative outcomes where problems occur. Learn to love the game.

There is more, but that’s a starting point.

drivebyposter125 · 2022-08-04T00:05:13+00:00

hey man, glad to see you took the step out from your comfort zone into the unknown because you wanted to achieve something that you didn't currently have in your life. this is the plot to every classic story!

here are some things to keep in mind during your journey... i'd suggest screenshotting this comment:

-no matter what, it will be hard. sorry to say but learning any new skill, especially one that takes a lot of reps like interpersonal relationships, is a difficult thing. plan now for taking 3 steps forward and 2 steps back.

-you have a lot to learn that you can't even imagine now. the first time that you cuddle a girl, your mind will be blown with all the possibilities and the emotion. the same can be said for the first time a girl asks you to choke her and fuck her harder. there is a whole world that you have no idea about and it's yours for the taking. the reason i brought this up is because it would be a mistake to close your expectations off. **your mind will be blown in this process if you don't give up**

-your best bet is to run a shotgun approach to dates. schedule 5 dates a week off tinder. as i said, there will be a STEEP learning curve. you will most definitely be nervous for the first 10 dates. its part of the process. power through it and you will eventually become more comfortable. the key here is quantity over quality.

-my personal advice... don't tell girls youre a noob. sharing that information is unnecessary and would turn off a lot of girls.

-have fun with the dates, enjoy yourself, don't take it too seriously. if a girl asks "how many girls have you taken to this spot", you reply "you're the 2nd one today and i have a 8:30 AM tmrw morning". this is supposed to be FUN man. keep your conversations shallow at least for the beginning of your journey.

-do things to improve your own attractiveness and it will make the whole process easier. lift weights, keep up with fashion, have stuff going on in your life. from experience, girls shared that nothing is more unattractive than a needy guy. you don't even want to know the whole anecdote to that situation and what we were doing together before she went to meet someone else...

-find a support system of others making positive progress for this. wouldn't recommend reddit. there's some good youtube podcasts but your main focus should be finding people who take ACTION and are making real life progress instead of stagnation.

-eliminate any shame you have with your slow start. that shit will kill your progress. trust me on this. maybe it was your fault, maybe it wasn't, doesn't matter. as of right now, the past is the past and you are redefining yourself as a new man. if i were to call you names about being a 26 year old newb, that cannot effect you. why? so many reasons. girls can pick up on it. you'll beat yourself up.

-again...this stuff is supposed to be FUN. have FUN on dates. tell that girl that she should take you out on a date because she hasn't stopped looking at you since you walked in, with a smirk on your face.

good luck. with proper progress and missteps, this process should take around a year.

grindforthegold · 2022-08-04T22:15:58+00:00

go indirect when you open. practice at home building a script and talking to wall for at least 30 minutes, have a good list of topics to ask and link into when you’re ready get out there and try to just go with the flow but if you get stuck refer to your script. it’s like studying for a test really can’t expect to do well in anything in life without preparing first

whitepillman · 2022-08-05T04:48:26+00:00

Talk to everyone until you get really good at conversation. Make conversations interesting with guys, old people, women you aren't attracted to - this translates well over to conversations with women you want to date. Then, just learn how to tease/flirt to actually attract them.

H8beingmale · 2022-08-05T21:35:32+00:00

going to assume you never had a girlfriend before

Title	Advice for starting out with zero experience 26 M
Author	Sword_Of_Jyggalag
Upvotes	6
Comments	18
Date	August 3, 2022 11:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wflfxd/advice_for_starting_out_with_zero_experience_26_m/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/advice-for-starting-out-with-zero-experience-26-m.1252880 https://theredarchive.com/post/1252880

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