The first message you send on a dating app is really important. It's your chance to stand out and make a girl smile. It takes a little bit of practice to get good at, but by following these guidelines you'll be way ahead of the majority of guys.

Copy-Paste vs. Personalization

There are two ways you can go when messaging girls on dating apps. The first is to have a generic message that you send out en masse to every match. This is quick, easy and, at least according to some analyses, very effective. If you're really looking to save time, go ahead and do this.

The second is to customize messages for each girl, sending messages specifically based on her profile. I prefer this method, and I highly recommend adopting it. It might take a little more energy, but it's worth it.

Benefits of Personalizing Messages

It's more fun. Once you get over your initial nervousness, it's fun coming up with conversation starters for girls based on limited information. It's a little exercise in creativity and it's rewarding when the girl responds with a, "haha, never heard that before!"

It makes you better at approaching girls in real life. Honestly, dating apps made me SO much better at approaching girls when I'm out in public. A large part of this is due to confidence, but it's also because I realized that being unique and putting yourself out there is really attractive.

One time in particular stands out. I was at a bar that was really crowded, and I had noticed a girl ten minutes before who was absolutely beautiful, and exactly my type: petite, brunette, slender with big, green eyes (I would later find out she was of Iranian descent). I walked up to her, handed her a $20 bill, and said "I'll buy you a drink if you can get the bartender to notice!" And then walked away. A few minutes later, she came up to me smiling and holding two drinks. I got her number, and we went out for a bit.

I never would've done that if I hadn't gotten into that mindset messaging girls on dating apps. Messaging girls on Tinder is great practice for going up to girls in bars or coffee shops.

It works better. In my experience, girls are much more likely to respond to a personalized message. This is especially true for really attractive girls. It makes sense-- they can get (literally) hundreds of messages a week; they need to differentiate them somehow. They pick the ones that show the guy actually took the time to check out their profile and notice something about them.

Okay, So What Do I Say?

It's easy enough to understand that personalizing messages works well. But how do you know what to say? How do you come up with something engaging and unique but not creepy? The truth is, I PROMISE you as you do it it'll come easier, but here are some tried-and-true techniques I've found to get you started. These have worked consistently for me, and they'll work for you too.

Comment on Travel Pictures

I like girls who are well-traveled. Many times when I'm really excited to send a message to a girl, she's got a picture or two of her in some far away place. I've found that simply asking about where she is, in an enthusiastic, interested tone, almost always leads to a response.

My opening line to a beautiful girl I ended up dating for a few months (from Tinder) was "Ooh, that picture of you riding the elephant is so cool! Where's it from?"

It doesn't have to be complicated. If you really want to impress her, you can say "I've always wanted to go to _______," if you recognize the place (or if you're good with reverse Google image search, hehe). People love talking about their trips abroad, so give her a chance to do so!

"Could you bring that ______ if we go on a date?"

This is a goofy one that I'll sometimes use if I'm having trouble coming up with something. It's really easy, and works shockingly well. Here's the formula: look through the girl's pictures, find a unique object in them, and ask her if she'll bring it when you go on a date. The first time I used this, the girl had a wagon in one of her pictures, and so I asked her to bring it along. Her response was "Hahaha we can arrange that" and off the conversation went. This goes to show that you don't have to be brilliant to get her attention, just a little bit different.

Ask for recommendations

This is an easy one to get started with. If a girl has a picture drinking coffee, say "That latte you're drinking in your picture has me wanting a coffee. Know any good cafes around here?" People like to be viewed as an expert in things they're passionate about, and will usually throw out a couple of places, allowing you to keep the conversation going. So many girls either have pictures of them eating/drinking or mention it in their profile that this will work a large percentage of the time. Could also apply if the girl likes records, books, rock climbing etc.

Following up if she doesn't message back

So you came across a girl whose profile is amazing. She's gorgeous, went to a good school, seems funny, the whole deal. You craft what you think is a perfect opening line, and wait for the response. And wait. And wait. And wait...

If she doesn't respond within 2 days, you've got a choice to make. Either chalk it up as a defeat, or message her again. You might cringe at the idea of opening yourself up to even more rejection by messaging her again, and think "won't it make me look desperate?" Guess what-- it doesn't matter!

That's the strange and beautiful thing about dating apps. Because you're not going to meet this person unless they agree to go out with you, it really makes no difference if you make a fool of yourself or not. If you're really hung up on her, shoot her another message. Make it funny, acknowledge that it's kind of awkward, and just hit send. I ended up going out with a girl who I'm still close friends with because I messaged her after a couple days, telling her "If you go out for a drink with me I promise I'll stop bothering you!" It can work. Just don't take yourself too seriously, and go for it.

Thanks for reading, and good luck. I like writing about this stuff, and you can find more here: http://www.datingappsdemystified.com/opening-lines-ho…s-on-dating-apps/