Afraid of taking the initiative

moonfanatic95 · 2022-01-19T17:06:51+00:00

Uninterested people will always label you in a negative way no matter what, that's just how things are. As to the fear of getting arrested part, don't go for the typical social justice warrior feminists, make sure you know the person you are trying to get it on with before you make a move, and you will avoid those situations.

lowlink · 2022-01-19T16:01:24+00:00

It's exagerated, yes. There's very few women that will do those things for a guy just showing interest, as long as he's having minimal calibration (aka isn't actually sexually harassing/abusing them), and they are broken and should be avoided (shouldn't be to hard to spot, really).

If you don't make a move, girls won't, because there are guys hitting on them all the time. They are more than happy to have more platonic friends to talk to!

You don't need to be overt, though. From what I read, you're basically "just friendly", so try showing some intent in more subtle ways, like hold eye contact for long (like 2 seconds at least) with girls you're attracted to, try to find excuses to touch them (like asking them to show you accesories they are wearing, like bracelets and stuff like that), stick to not intimate parts though, start with like outer parts of arms, shoulders, stuff like that (don't touch her hair or face, or ass/tights/breasts, as all of those come across as intimate or sexual, leave this touch to girls you're close to kissing and are reacting well to your other touch). Also compliment girls on things you find interesting or alluring about them, their sense of style/fashion, their walk, there's lots of ways of showing intent that are not that invasive, I think the biggest one really is eye contact (and being a sexy guy in the first place, dressing well, being well groomed, moving slow, talking with a sexy voice, that type of stuff, if they are more attracted to you, they will consider you more of a sexual option)

opper-hombre1 · 2022-01-19T21:51:45+00:00

I doubt you’re scared of being called a pervert or being arrested.

I’d bet you’re scared of rejection

1keentolearn12 · 2022-01-19T15:57:49+00:00

Learn how to flirt

thelambofdeth · 2022-01-19T16:12:24+00:00

You're only considered a creep, pervert, weird, etc if you're ugly.

3boodqt · 2022-01-19T16:38:42+00:00

Ok first, with the intention part is hard to explain because I don’t think I show it often, but if you are talking with her and approaching her that straight up showing intent, if she is a friend I think teasing in a way that says “you can’t do that” is showing a small intent, being gentlemen also go hand in hand, showing dominance as well (I know that once I was talking to a girl and she did something I dislike(disrespectful) and I told her should we talk about what you did before and she said no, I said no I’m gonna - that shows who is really in control and that you value yourself not to let something disrespectful just slide.. This is something I found out recently; don’t ever be afraid that someone would question your behaviors (if you believe what you are doing is right!!) You should have a moral compass and stick to it, what you believe is wrong don’t do it, what you believe is right do it! don’t let fear interfere with your personality.

The stories are just for extremes, so if you are not doing something criminally offensive just do it, I’m not saying go touch women all the time, they will be creeped out! but touch them when the situation present itself as I mentioned in the other comment, and make sure not to touch them at sexual places, after you kiss then consider that as a gate to touch her ass or breast. You’ll pick up man just take it slowly and have some self-worth and self-esteem, do not care about others questioning your behavior. You don’t need tips on to how to flirt, just be playful (compliments and tease) and confidence and you are golden without you know it. Touching isn’t really something important that you should strive to learn, I normally don’t like touching girls unless the situation is there and touching is almost necessary. Your fears are exaggerated but it is fine, we all go through this; I know I had a million times, consider it an experience to learn from

tina-the-tiger · 2022-01-19T17:05:55+00:00

Maybe read how the other person is and vibe off their vibes on if you need to go for it or hold back. And if you can’t read it, no shame in asking for help 😊

travisth0tt · 2022-01-19T18:31:25+00:00

There is no one getting arrested (in the US) for an arm around the shoulder or a hug. My go to for meeting a girl for the first time is a nice to meet you with a smile and a hug.

All you need is to be playful, cheeky and flirty conversation, slight touches on the arm or back. As long as you don't harass her or continue after she has made it clear she's uncomfortable you are good to go.

No-Department6252 · 2022-01-19T19:15:38+00:00

if a woman is not actively trying to seduce you are not attractive in her eyes. women know who they want to fuck and who is going to fuck after .5 seconds of seeing a guy. no point in remaining "friends" with a woman if she fundamentally doesn't find you attractive. women will literally approach you if she finds you attractive but it's subtle. only focus on the women that want you and if the women you want are not attractive become better looking. it all starts with understanding women

gt35r · 2022-01-19T20:14:45+00:00

So, someone mentioned this in here a few days ago but it's actually something I sort of do myself. Inside your head you just need to go "1, 2, 3, fuck it" and go for or say whatever you are worried about. I can tell you right now the odds of it going in your favor are 9999% higher if you actually act on it rather than day dreaming "I wonder what it would be like if I made a move". You literally will never know until you do it. Once I started doing this and just getting ballsy and saying or doing something, more things started going in my favor. They want confidence, they want you to make the move, don't overthink things.

wondorous · 2022-01-19T21:25:49+00:00

I think it might come from how we’ve grown up.

I was raised to be a pretty decent guy and somehow got it in my heads that I shouldn’t chase or hit on women; that I should be a perfect gentleman at all times. So when spending time w female friends, I thought that they would eventually come around but they didn’t.

It was hard to let go of, but I eventually started to consider that girls want to be pursued (by guys they like) but it has been a challenge to adopt that mindset.

baddog992 · 2022-01-19T21:46:24+00:00

Try not to over think when it comes to talking to women. Thats a big mistake because you can reason your way out of doing things you should be doing. Dont think about doing something just go and do something. The more you do it the easier it will be for you.. You are over thinking things. Your picturing a bad outcome before you have even started.

ctmsansei · 2022-01-19T21:51:47+00:00

the books models has a chapter about being creepy, how to avoid it, etc two takes: it's impossible to avoid being thought creepy sometimes, it's a risk you have to accept. you avoid / reduce creepenes by having confidence, expressing yourself crearly, etc. i recommend you to read it.

asd1234red · 2022-01-20T21:24:13+00:00

It's ok to go to jail.... You'll be fine. Have that mindset and you'll be fine. Regular smart people don't have the time or balls to deal with cops for small stuff like this

Title	Afraid of taking the initiative
Author	Zealousideal_Heart36
Upvotes	21
Comments	30
Date	January 19, 2022 2:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s7rqs1/afraid_of_taking_the_initiative/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/afraid-of-taking-the-initiative.1268690 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268690

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