Context: Pre-2018 I was about as insecure and needy as one could be, but after putting in a lot of work, I was content with myself and where I'm at about 2 years later. Not even primarily focused on attracting women, just trying to better myself. I did however start actively approaching in bars and clubs for hookups.

Sure enough I had my first successful encounters with the other sex and I thought "well it can't be that bad", since I always explained my lack of success with women due to being unattractive.

After the first noobie gains, I hit a hard plateau and didn't have any further success except for a rare few women who were interested in me, but weren't really my type, usually the short, chubby ones. Never the ones I actually liked.

After corona started and my usual venues were all closed, I gave up on the seduction game and that was that, occasionally I still had a rare few hookups with women I met through friends / work.

Ever since I had no desire to go out and start approaching again, I was and still am content as it is, which this sub touts a very desireable state of being since apparently women "will notice you aren't needy and focusing on yourself", I can say that's not the case for me. It's like I stopped existing for them.

Looking back, I fit all the criteria this sub tells us you need to have to be successful with women: confident, non needy, well groomed, well and fashionably dressed, regularily go the gym, have an "alpha type" of job in a leadership position at my mid-20s, big social circle of male friends so I assume my personality isn't complete garbage. Still not nearly as lucky with women as other friends, who have good looks as their main redeeming quality.

I also notice some women (which I haven't met before) act outright hostile and dismissive towards me in social settings, while acting neutral / cordial to others. Might just to be them and I largely consider people who act like that without prior cause as beneath my notice, but it still makes me think.

I consider myself an average looking, 5/10 guy, but my matches on tinder / bumble / what have you say otherwise. Fair enough, I was always more succesful when approaching in person, but still. Secondary school was vicious to me as well, kids regularily, outright told me I was ugly back then. I improved a lot looks-wise since then, but it still left some mental aftermath.

So idk. I was an avid supporter of "looks matter only so much" but I'm starting to think they're perhaps not everything, but account for atleast 80% of your success, unless you only want to date / hookup with 3/10s and below. Also seems like some of the advice given here are mental gymnastics to justify the narrative that looks aren't everything.