Edit: This is a Field Report. Sorry I forgot to include the [FR] in the title.

This time I suggested a bar nearby rather than dinner, and I walked there so I wouldn't feel bad drinking. (She drove from one town away.)

Conversation was a bit easier than last time, just because I found more things to talk about and was more open about the things I'm passionate about. When it started to run out, I suggested we bounce and go for a walk.

I brought us to another bar up the street with a small cover charge that we each paid. I ordered a beer, then she asked for water making a comment about how "it must be nice that you can walk home". (Oops.) This place was a lot louder and we couldn't talk much over the live music. After a few songs, I finished my beer and we bounced again.

When we were half a block out the door she said "Well, since I'm passing my car anyway I might as well get going." I didn't object. Instead I said "Can I be honest? I think you're cool but I didn't really feel like we hit it off," and she agreed.

It's true, there was no chemistry, but I take some of the responsibility for that. I think I'm pretty good at intriguing a girl through text/chat (more time to think; I don't need to be so quick on my feet). I'm also getting much better at sustaining phone conversation.

But I can never seem to find ways to build attraction in person. If there are already some IOIs I can respond to them, the problem is I can't elicit them to begin with.

Observations:

  • Other than a hug when she first arrived, and a light touch on her shoulder when I went to the bathroom, there was no kino.
  • I got to the first bar before she did, and arranged it so we would be sitting next to, rather than across from, each other. In retrospect I did not take advantage of this in any way.

On the upside, I still haven't found a girl who I actually like to reject me.

Any comments and/or advice?