Bad cold apporach experience in university

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-04-02T11:36:10+00:00

Let me take you on a thought experiment. Imagine you are walking through your campus, headphones on, lost in then music or a good audiobook and out of nowhere a 6'7" man, built like a bodybuilder and at least 300 lbs of pure muscle with 10X your testosterone jumps out of nowhere and starts chatting you up. You would probably be a bit taken a back, no? Who is this guy, what does he want, why is he following me around?

Well, for most women who are in the 100-120 lbs range, the average man looks and feels to them the exact way that 6'7" 300 lbs bodybuilder will look to you. Women are smaller, shorter and are capable of a fraction of the aggression men are.

What this means to you is that your approaches, especially in the street need to be 100% socially calibrated. It is very easy to spook a woman like this. And I will be honest wjth you. The hot guys who get laid never have to approach random women on campus. It's not normal. Nothing wrong wjth it, but it's not normal.

If you want to practice your social skills, go to a place where people socialize. A bar, a party, a game, whatever.

idkwhqtimdoing · 2022-04-02T11:23:13+00:00

I think anytime you apporach a girl and she doesn't seem into it even after a bit (~30secs-minute) of talking. Like she seems "shy" or is giving limited response just bail out. It usually won't work anyway and you avoid worst case situations like these.

If it makes you feel any better I don't think what you did was too strange - like your opener seems fine. She just seems like someone that is very against talking to strangers. Most people aren't like that.

At least that's my thought. What do others think?

Liberaler · 2022-04-02T13:02:46+00:00

one does not start a casual conversation with someone, who is moving and listening to music. It's unnatural. Such a person is preoccupied. If you approach such a person, you need to have something relevant to say. (= in your case being more direct) Otherwise people will be confused.
trying to stop her (done right), would have been better, because then she would have had the chance to leave, when she decides to do so. If you walk with her she might be afraid, she can't get rid of you.
if you are very nervous, it's better to be honest and direct. People can feel your vibe/energy. When people notice your nervous energy + acting indirect and wannabe casual way, they feel a contraction: "What is going on with this guy?" But if you are nervous and direct, the can think: "He is nervous because he is hitting on me - makes sense ... That took courage ..."
In their first approaches a lot of guy are so tensed up, they look totally earnest, forgetting to smile. This creeps people out.

universityhound · 2022-04-02T18:36:57+00:00

I remember when I first started making approaches when I was in college it went something like what you described.

Typically, if you start talking to a girl and she does not stop to make eye contact with you and keeps walking, then don't keep walking with her!

If you had a good hook she would stop to chat. If she needs to make it to some class on time she will ask you to walk with her.

I think your interaction was over after you said "it's pretty long too, much longer than mine, do you like longer ones?" and I don't know how she responded, but if she gave a very short response afterward like "yea..." or "uh huh", then that was a good time to disengage.

Keep approaching and understanding social cues on when to disengage.

cronasminate · 2022-04-02T13:02:07+00:00

Your vibe was off most likely. I specialized in picking up girls on campus. Most important thing is you don't approach without giving the girl an out. If you are walking with her, she is trapped since the only thing she can do is reverse direction. That's why I always approach opposite and then talk. That way if they are not feeling it they just keep going their way and I go my way.

Most guys on youtube are mostly using their looks and edit in their best approaches. Their game is usually shit. You don't need a canned disclaimer you just need to calibrate in real time for the situation. In this situation when you spoke to her and she took her phone you could have calibrated and stated "Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt your mind palace, it's not even important I just wanted to say that your jacket is REALLY comfy. You look like a walking blanket." In that situation your approach is warranted because you found her jacket out of the ordinary. Never open with "Hi, how are you." Every scammer and street vendor in history opens with that.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-04-02T12:42:24+00:00

Cold approaching can work great when done right.

Unfortunately, I don’t think you are very aware of how uncomfortable you made her feel with the way you did this approach.

You are following her around, not explaining what you want right away, trying to start conversation without a clear purpose, all she is thinking is: “is he gonna raped me?” “is he gonna do something to me” “what are his intentions why is he following me” “is he gonna steal my jacket?”

She was probably not relaxed at all because the way you did this didn’t take any consideration at all for her feelings.

You said “I wanted to chat a bit” but for what? It’s creepy can’t you see? Specially since you started with “hey i like your jacket, looks comfy” before establishing why you are there first talking to her.

Imagine you are a girl, and a guy much bigger than you that you don’t know at all starts following around without consent, and starts making comments on your outfit that she didn’t asked for, that he wants to chat a bit for no reason other than you are cute, it’s all forced and impersonal you keep walking and he keeps following…

Wouldn’t you feel kinda creep out? Like my first thought would be that he is gonna do something bad to me any second.

It is creepy, and no i’m not saying cold approaching is bad i’m saying that the way you did the approach is creepy and shows no social intelligence at all.

Don’t follow girls dude, there is nothing worst for a girl than feeling that if she doesn’t wanna talk, you keep forcing it by following her.

Just ask her to stop for a minute and explain why you want to meet her (aka ask for consent), or let her walk away and go for someone else who is willing to stop a little bit to hear what you have to say.

She didn’t give you any consent and was clearly not comfortable with you, which is why she didn’t even want to shake your hand and just wanted this to end.

Andetag · 2022-04-03T01:47:39+00:00

People seemed to overlook the fact that she was Asian and also a Redit user. Double whammy. Asian women, in my experience, tend to be very skittish. Doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong.

Impressive_Sport_713 · 2022-04-02T13:02:11+00:00

Its best for beginners to be direct. Guage her reaction. Introduce each other. Then start the conversation. Its a big numbers game if you ever want to see success out of it. So all you need to worry is that you go in direct, have a quick conversation, and ask everyone one of them out. So its wired in your mentality that youre out with a purpose. And it also will teach you social cues and predict a girls interest in the long run by guaging their behaviour

2022-04-04T03:25:42+00:00

You probably need to work on subcommunication as this is over 90% of communication. It doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it and how you project yourself.

Main-Vanilla8378 · 2022-04-05T17:05:47+00:00

Where you messed up is you were being indirect you should have said Hi opened with a pre-frame and told her exactly why you approached that she was sexy and you wanted to meet her tell her why does she have a cute ass, nice smile or whatever. She still may have reacted that way because she is shy but your awkward energy was what was freaking her out which is ok because you lack experience but your approach had no balls and thats why it failed because she knows why your talking to her and when you deny or try to hide it you look weak and unattractive.

Title	Bad cold apporach experience in university
Author	seduction101101
Upvotes	3
Comments	15
Date	April 2, 2022 11:16 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tugjgd/bad_cold_apporach_experience_in_university/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/bad-cold-apporach-experience-in-university.1263104 https://theredarchive.com/post/1263104

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