Can I convince myself that I can be physically attractive?

awaythrowbrandnew · 2012-08-21T23:30:34+00:00

noahbdh · 2012-08-21T23:54:21+00:00

Start up boxing or jiu Jitsu. Jiu Jitsu increased my confidence crazy levels. Going into competitions and placing/winning, knowing I can beat people who practice and knowing you can defend yourself against anyone else is a good feeling.

policeandthieves · 2012-08-22T03:58:02+00:00

Damn, I'm 165 6'0 and I feel skinny as hell.

Ogow · 2012-08-22T04:18:02+00:00

Honestly I'm probably skinnier(6'1" 130lbs) and I haven't heard anything like that from any girls. I've always stayed in good shape though and have done sports my entire life, so even though I'm skinny it's obvious by the way I hold myself when walking and my overall just body language that I'm not "weak" as they said to you. It's also because I know I'm not weak that I probably have the confidence to ignore and shrug off any comment about my weight.

It's common to expect guys to be big and bulky, but mainly girls are just looking for someone who can protect them and they can show off. You can do both those things while being skinny, you just have to be in shape and be confident in yourself.

SirHodownAssClownIII · 2012-08-22T08:18:50+00:00

At least you're above average in height..

2012-08-22T14:06:01+00:00

1.70m, 52 KG motherfucker over here. Caused no issue for me, I boss it out anyway; ladies say I have a nice ass xD

If you're not confident, work out. I'm too lazy and too happy to do so.

madbull2604 · 2012-08-22T16:25:10+00:00

Start with the diet and end with work on your style. Let me give you a few suggestions. Most drastic changes to our body happen after certain intakes. You intake good stuff, vegetables, fruits, grains, even meats and alcohol, your body responds positively: healthy organs, normal weight, energy for the day and mighty good time (don't overdo it with alcohol). On the other hand if you input garbage, fast food, trans-fats, empty calories in the form of processed foods, and there is no supplement in the world that will fix your body. Where I am going with this, you have to assess your current diet. You may need to increase your fat and carb intake to increase body weight (become a couch potato for a month, may be more), and later, through working out convert the increased weight into muscle, giving you volume.

Changing or rewamping your style (cloths) can do miracles as well. In your state, vertical stipes any vertical pattern for this matter, is a big no-no. Go for horizontal stripe(s) or solid colored shirts (including t-shirts). Do not try to add volume by having baggy cloths, you'd look like Auschwitz surviver. Instead go for trim shirts and pants, preferably the same darker color pallet. I will give you a more composed look. If you have a longer neck, as I do, never buy V-neck or low collar shirts. Crew neck or polo shirts are your best bets. As for pants, normal cut is best option, considering that your leg/torso ratio is normal.

Life style can be modified as well. With your current weight/hight ratio you could pick up rock-climbing (you should have a good reach and not too much weight to haul on the wall). It is an awesome topic and DHV, if you know your shit.

All in all the jorney is long, however if you are willing to commit time and effort, you will make it through with flying banners (At like 20 years highschool reunion, you are in shape and the other guys are round). Mindset change doesn't come in, unless you have something to back it up with, give your mind a reason to beleive through external changes.

Jerseyhokie · 2012-08-22T16:36:41+00:00

New guy, but i have two suggestions:

First for your own self confidence, research the slimming and weight adding effects of colors and patterns. Its a change you can make immediately and mentally, you will feel bigger with "complimentary clothing". Its also kind of nice for you because typically everyone is trying to look slimmer so you will stand out/peacock.

Second, if you're mentally worried about a future girl making a similar comment about your lack of strength, decide how you're going to counter it. Just like everyone else here worries about certain shittests, this can be unique to you.

Decide how you're going to counter it, reversal escalation or ignore. One of the guys i knew in college had a similar problem although his case wasn't as extreme. We knew quite a few navy guys and your body type is far closer to an accurate representation of a Navy SEAL than the media would portray (theyre string beans, not muscle bound in general). He would tell the girl this and naturally drew a connection between himself and the guys in the SEALs (ultimate warriors, kicking doors down, yadayada). It helped that he knew what he was talking about with regards to a lot of navy policy and practice.

Another great thing for him was that this could be used to leverage the start of kino. Picking the girl up, arm wrestling etc to demonstrate strength. Theyre giving you an excuse to be physical.

AFCInVan · 2012-08-22T02:57:53+00:00

How old are you?

bcktth · 2012-08-22T16:07:32+00:00

False! I'm 6'0" and 140lbs and I think i'm a physical beast! No my pecs don't show through my shirt but my ribs do, and you know what... I like myself that way.

That is the thing, reading your post I already get the sense of pessimism and low self esteem. If a girl is shooting you down because of your size, then it just shows how you wouldn't of even enjoyed her company if that she can't even get past that aspect of all that you have to offer. I've had girls attempt to physically pick me up due to being so thin (I believe one HB8 did, was kind of kinky) and I give zero fucks. It's only a problem in the sense that I make it out to be in my head or actions following shit tests like that. Know yourself and in return be congruent with yourself.

If you don't wanna be thin, sure... hit gainit and change. However whatever you do, be happy with who you are regardless. All too often people live life in a state of suffering by saying "If I were only more ripped, skinnier, richer, etc. I'll then get the girl.". That is living your life in the future as opposed to what you can be doing now. This won't magically happen over night either, but know that you are a unique individual and that alone makes you someone worth knowing about regardless of the size, height, or appearance you carry. Seriously, learn to be comfortable in your own skin by accepting the way you are now or making the solid choice to change it to something more to your liking... be it physical or the way you dress. I personally wear super skinny jeans and slim tees because anything that is loose or baggy makes me look like I'm a recovering anorexic.

Yuecake · 2013-02-06T18:48:44+00:00

Got to say, I am dating a guy who is maybe a little taller than you and a similar weight.. and he is damn fine to me. You'll find the right girl. But if thats how you feel then you should do whatever feels right to you, but there is always a market for skinny guys!

2012-08-22T03:13:28+00:00

but I can tell you that being skinny is not better. I

Yes it is

It can even be worst

No it's not

Xstream2 · 2012-08-22T02:44:33+00:00

I used to be almost exactly like you (5'10 - 135) now I'm 170ish, get expensive protein powder and lift weights to the point of maxing out your lifts (none of that do 8 reps 3 times crap).

I'll be honest with you I get checked out A LOT now... like a ton (and it feels great) but it really doesn't matter in terms of getting the girl. I met Alexander from RSD a couple weeks ago and we were talking about working out and he said the same thing.

leodoestheopposite · 2012-08-22T03:33:51+00:00

Lift heavy + GOMAD

/r/fitness will help

Title	Can I convince myself that I can be physically attractive?
Author	SeductionNovice
Upvotes	5
Comments	24
Date	August 21, 2012 10:46 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ylsyp/can_i_convince_myself_that_i_can_be_physically/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-i-convince-myself-that-i-can-be-physically.1337672 https://theredarchive.com/post/1337672

Comments